warning: talk of that ol' bane of every girls' existance: the over the shoulder boulder holder, aka, the "brassiere".
i got measured for a bra at penningtons yesterday, and i discovered why i have such a hard time finding a bra that fits, even at the plus size store, where they go all the way up to a triple D......
i am....
a....
42....
here it comes....
H.
yup. a 42H.
that's H for Helluva time finding a danged bra.
garrrrr!!!!!!!!
*whacks head in frusteration*
are we going to have to wear bras in heaven?
one more detail in life i'd rather not have to contend with, Lord!
(the pot cannot say to the Potter, why have You made me thus... the pot cannot say to the Potter, why have You made me thus.... the pot cannot say to the Potter, why have You made me thus?..... maybe if i keep telling myself this, i'll finally stop asking Him why He made me thus?!!?!!!?!!!!!)
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
the "can i pass out now?" pita sandwich
this will be my first ever recipe blog entry! yay!
anyway, i wanted a late supper/early bedtime snack, and i thought i would use up the remnant of a pack of frozen veggies in the freezer.
i had about, say a cup and a half or so left. i put a tablespoon or two of sunflower oil in a small pan and when the oil was hot dumped the frozen veggies in, stirred them up. added the following herbs and spices to taste:
then i thought, i want to add some protein to this mix, so i added a small handful of macadamia nuts.
this is how many was left in the package *after* cooking, so i really didn't use too much. rich stuff, them nuts, lol. sautee, sautee.
next i added some of my favorite addition to just about everything i cook, sunflower seeds!
(what i forgot to add, and wished i had: sesame seeds. next time!)
sautee, sautee.
then i added a can of smoked tuna fillets, including the oil (was starting to look dry):
my favorite food. i broke it up and sauteed some more.
it smelled like, SOOOO GOOOD.
next i cut a whole wheat pita in half.
then when the mix was all hot and spicy and browned and yum, i spooned it in, and i started to eat.
and i seriously said, "oh, God, thank You, oh God, this is soooo good, can i pass out now?" lol!!!!
after half was gone i thought i'd better take some pics for posterity:
my most successful concoction. served with a glass of whole milk.
an alternate name for this concoction might be "the maca-tuna stirfry pita". but i like 'the "can i pass out now?" pita sandwich', lol.
by the time i was done, i was stuffed to the gills. i think it was enough for two people for lunch.
if anyone tries this, i'd love to hear how it turned out for you!!!!!!
anyway, i wanted a late supper/early bedtime snack, and i thought i would use up the remnant of a pack of frozen veggies in the freezer.
i had about, say a cup and a half or so left. i put a tablespoon or two of sunflower oil in a small pan and when the oil was hot dumped the frozen veggies in, stirred them up. added the following herbs and spices to taste:
- curry
- basil
- oregano
- pepper
- onion powder (fine flakes, really)
- garlic powder ("granules")
then i thought, i want to add some protein to this mix, so i added a small handful of macadamia nuts.
this is how many was left in the package *after* cooking, so i really didn't use too much. rich stuff, them nuts, lol. sautee, sautee.next i added some of my favorite addition to just about everything i cook, sunflower seeds!
(what i forgot to add, and wished i had: sesame seeds. next time!)
sautee, sautee.
then i added a can of smoked tuna fillets, including the oil (was starting to look dry):
my favorite food. i broke it up and sauteed some more.
it smelled like, SOOOO GOOOD.
next i cut a whole wheat pita in half.
then when the mix was all hot and spicy and browned and yum, i spooned it in, and i started to eat.
and i seriously said, "oh, God, thank You, oh God, this is soooo good, can i pass out now?" lol!!!!
after half was gone i thought i'd better take some pics for posterity:
my most successful concoction. served with a glass of whole milk.
an alternate name for this concoction might be "the maca-tuna stirfry pita". but i like 'the "can i pass out now?" pita sandwich', lol.
by the time i was done, i was stuffed to the gills. i think it was enough for two people for lunch.
if anyone tries this, i'd love to hear how it turned out for you!!!!!!
Monday, April 07, 2008
beep - too much information - beep
as i progress in life, i'm finding more and more that my childhood was difficult. i can't even begin to go into what manner of difficulty i'm talking about. it's too big.
and so i ask God,
"what am i supposed to do with this information?"
swallow it? grieve it? ignore it? -heck no can't do that one. there's no bootstraps to pull up in this one.
gotta walk through it. He will see me through.
it still sucks, though.
one day i'll be able to walk on top of the goo without sinking in to it... but for now, i need hip-waders. and good friends. :) and my support team. and God. :)
i just hate the headaches i've been having.
*******
on a positive note, though, i really enjoyed the wedding this weekend, took over 1000 pictures. gotta love my 4 gig memory stick! 'twas fun tagging along with ruth all day! thanks dahlin'!
ciao!
and so i ask God,
"what am i supposed to do with this information?"
swallow it? grieve it? ignore it? -heck no can't do that one. there's no bootstraps to pull up in this one.
gotta walk through it. He will see me through.
it still sucks, though.
one day i'll be able to walk on top of the goo without sinking in to it... but for now, i need hip-waders. and good friends. :) and my support team. and God. :)
i just hate the headaches i've been having.
*******
on a positive note, though, i really enjoyed the wedding this weekend, took over 1000 pictures. gotta love my 4 gig memory stick! 'twas fun tagging along with ruth all day! thanks dahlin'!
ciao!
Friday, April 04, 2008
overdue
yes, i'm pregnant! HA just kidding.
overdue for an update, not a baby. hello!
anyways. just got back online today. well last night i hooked up my puter (thanks for the fix, chris) which was an exercise in frustration, and then..... my mouse didn't work. today i went and got new batteries, which was indeed the problemo, and here we be.
um, lets see. trip was good, gtt in victoria awesome, counselling trip good but heavy. life is a challenge as always, one that God gets me thru, not me, lol! uh.... ive been drawing more. developed an addiction to gingersnaps (gee, thanks, deb :P ) ..... um, yeah. i feel out of sync i've been offline since like november, snaggin' my emails at friends house when i have the chance, etc.
anyways, time to go surf. gots stuff to look up, data to read. ciao for meow!
overdue for an update, not a baby. hello!
anyways. just got back online today. well last night i hooked up my puter (thanks for the fix, chris) which was an exercise in frustration, and then..... my mouse didn't work. today i went and got new batteries, which was indeed the problemo, and here we be.
um, lets see. trip was good, gtt in victoria awesome, counselling trip good but heavy. life is a challenge as always, one that God gets me thru, not me, lol! uh.... ive been drawing more. developed an addiction to gingersnaps (gee, thanks, deb :P ) ..... um, yeah. i feel out of sync i've been offline since like november, snaggin' my emails at friends house when i have the chance, etc.
anyways, time to go surf. gots stuff to look up, data to read. ciao for meow!
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
i am MOVED!
wow, it went fast, the amazing ladies from church even got my old place spic and span like three hours after we started moving on saturday, "so you don't even have to go back there!" someone said! whoot. and all those awesome guys who generously donated their muscles.... ladies and gents, you are awesome, you know who you are, thank you bunchly!
God has soooo provided in the last week in so many ways. like someone BOUGHT and brought me a new(used) set of table and chairs, so now i can eat without sitting on the floor (like many of you know i did at the old place, in the bathroom doorway, on the little ledge there...), and they are so funky and retro i love them. eventually i might reupholster with microsuede or somesuch, but in the meantime, the colors blend right in, they just GO, y'know? you know who you are, thank you, i love you so much!
i am so blessed, thank you for all your help and engouragement, peoples!
sooo.....
in 6 days i leave for victoria for the gtt, we're going down on the ferry now.... and since i found out about that i've gotten car sick like 4 times.... i'm gonna plan on gravolin' up.... eventually i will be at a hotel for 5 days by me lonesome, i'm stocking up on ways to keep myself occupied during that time.... i sure can't afford a shopping binge, lol! but seriously, it's going to be an emotional time because of the counselling, so i'm making sure i'm packed up with things that will help me be comfortable and stay calm! ....where's that teddy bear?.....
.... specifically for the trip i have a long distance plan on my cell phone so i can stay in touch with my brothers and sisters, but i still have to find out about 'roaming charges'.... i have no idea even what they are, i've never travelled with my cell before. the idea is that i can call home and people can call me and i wont have to worry about the cost beyond my usual minutes (of which i have plenty of outgoing, and unlimited incoming). so, provided that there's no mix up with whatever the mysterious roaming charges are, i should be only a phone call away.
well, i'm at my friends house, and she's got dinner for us (see, i'm so spoiled!) i should go for now. ciao for now!
God has soooo provided in the last week in so many ways. like someone BOUGHT and brought me a new(used) set of table and chairs, so now i can eat without sitting on the floor (like many of you know i did at the old place, in the bathroom doorway, on the little ledge there...), and they are so funky and retro i love them. eventually i might reupholster with microsuede or somesuch, but in the meantime, the colors blend right in, they just GO, y'know? you know who you are, thank you, i love you so much!
i am so blessed, thank you for all your help and engouragement, peoples!
sooo.....
in 6 days i leave for victoria for the gtt, we're going down on the ferry now.... and since i found out about that i've gotten car sick like 4 times.... i'm gonna plan on gravolin' up.... eventually i will be at a hotel for 5 days by me lonesome, i'm stocking up on ways to keep myself occupied during that time.... i sure can't afford a shopping binge, lol! but seriously, it's going to be an emotional time because of the counselling, so i'm making sure i'm packed up with things that will help me be comfortable and stay calm! ....where's that teddy bear?.....
.... specifically for the trip i have a long distance plan on my cell phone so i can stay in touch with my brothers and sisters, but i still have to find out about 'roaming charges'.... i have no idea even what they are, i've never travelled with my cell before. the idea is that i can call home and people can call me and i wont have to worry about the cost beyond my usual minutes (of which i have plenty of outgoing, and unlimited incoming). so, provided that there's no mix up with whatever the mysterious roaming charges are, i should be only a phone call away.
well, i'm at my friends house, and she's got dinner for us (see, i'm so spoiled!) i should go for now. ciao for now!
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
itsa gonna be a busy two weeks
so.... on the weekend of the 15th i'm moovin', two bedroom lotsa room compared to what i have now (460 ft2)..... more expensive too.
in my own brain i would have logicized and pro'n'conned myself out of it, but i asked God, and He said, set aside all your fears and desire for comfort, and think.... what has My Hand shown you?
oh. time to move. ok.
i like where i am now, i don't just like it, i love it in so many ways. someone asked my why i'm moving at such a crazy time in my life, and i love it where i am so much... and my only answer is that i want what God wants for me, not what i - my flesh - wants for me!!!!!!
delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. i choose to delight in Him, and i only want what He has for me, not what this vapourous world has for me.
anyways. i have to be fully cleaned out of the other place by the 26th at the very latest, and then pack my bags and go the next day. down to the gtt in victoria. then i will be spending 5 days with a specialist, then returning home on the....8th(?) of march... to a brand new home.
thank You Lord, that when i am weak, i am strong... because You are dynamite in me. may it all be in Your strength and not mine!
in my own brain i would have logicized and pro'n'conned myself out of it, but i asked God, and He said, set aside all your fears and desire for comfort, and think.... what has My Hand shown you?
oh. time to move. ok.
i like where i am now, i don't just like it, i love it in so many ways. someone asked my why i'm moving at such a crazy time in my life, and i love it where i am so much... and my only answer is that i want what God wants for me, not what i - my flesh - wants for me!!!!!!
delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. i choose to delight in Him, and i only want what He has for me, not what this vapourous world has for me.
anyways. i have to be fully cleaned out of the other place by the 26th at the very latest, and then pack my bags and go the next day. down to the gtt in victoria. then i will be spending 5 days with a specialist, then returning home on the....8th(?) of march... to a brand new home.
thank You Lord, that when i am weak, i am strong... because You are dynamite in me. may it all be in Your strength and not mine!
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Thursday, January 17, 2008
a hurdle jumped
well... a meltdown again, back at m&m's overnight, chaotic morning.
wish i wasn't so messy. but tornadoes just *are*. learning to trust love way down deep inside.
but jumped painfully over a hurdle of trust/safety this morning, a hurdle never jumped before, and as scary as it was, it was important to jump it.
verse for me today:
a very encouraging word for me today. safety.
one day at a time.
wish i wasn't so messy. but tornadoes just *are*. learning to trust love way down deep inside.
but jumped painfully over a hurdle of trust/safety this morning, a hurdle never jumped before, and as scary as it was, it was important to jump it.
verse for me today:
psalm 84:3 Even the sparrow has found a home, And the swallow a nest for herself, Where she may lay her young-- Even Your altars, O Lord of hosts, My King and my God.
a very encouraging word for me today. safety.
one day at a time.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
stomp my feet
sometimes i feel like a little kid throwing a tantrum, where i want to complain to God that He would just give me words for the emotions and thoughts and tornadoes in my brain!!!!! stomp stomp stomp my feet, why don't you just give me words? waaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!
so here, i can talk about it from an "outside" perspective, but from an internal perspective it renders me speechless. the uber flux of emotions swamp me and coherency leaves. what's left is a abstract ramble, albeit somewhat poetic ramble of words. outside words, trying to describe the undescribeable.
oh how i miss blogging.... chris fixy puter sooon? eh? pweeze? :)
oh how i hate dissociation.
oh how i love Jesus.... oh how i love Jesus.... oh how i love Jesus..... and i forget the rest!
hmm, i remember something to update from old posts - i did eventually get a cpap machine, and after a three month trial it was clear from the data that it helped keep my oxygen saturation up at night, so it's doing what it's supposed to do, so income assistance ok'd a purchace of a permanent machine for me, and it's kewl. my head is definately able to compute better, which is a huge improvement, although i'm still tired most of the time.
i didn't make it to the wedding in november, which i was very sad about (sorry hen) cuz i really wanted to go.... but i was not in a good headspace, so...... yeah. bah.
i didn't get to visit my friend in edmonton yet. but i will soon, i hope! (rah!)
i am, however, going to get to the gtt in victoria this year, Lord willin', it's in the works.... so mags, i might get to do your dreads sooner rather than later! (if you haven't got them yet) lol.
i need to boogie, ciao for now.
so here, i can talk about it from an "outside" perspective, but from an internal perspective it renders me speechless. the uber flux of emotions swamp me and coherency leaves. what's left is a abstract ramble, albeit somewhat poetic ramble of words. outside words, trying to describe the undescribeable.
oh how i miss blogging.... chris fixy puter sooon? eh? pweeze? :)
oh how i hate dissociation.
oh how i love Jesus.... oh how i love Jesus.... oh how i love Jesus..... and i forget the rest!
hmm, i remember something to update from old posts - i did eventually get a cpap machine, and after a three month trial it was clear from the data that it helped keep my oxygen saturation up at night, so it's doing what it's supposed to do, so income assistance ok'd a purchace of a permanent machine for me, and it's kewl. my head is definately able to compute better, which is a huge improvement, although i'm still tired most of the time.
i didn't make it to the wedding in november, which i was very sad about (sorry hen) cuz i really wanted to go.... but i was not in a good headspace, so...... yeah. bah.
i didn't get to visit my friend in edmonton yet. but i will soon, i hope! (rah!)
i am, however, going to get to the gtt in victoria this year, Lord willin', it's in the works.... so mags, i might get to do your dreads sooner rather than later! (if you haven't got them yet) lol.
i need to boogie, ciao for now.
tornadoes...a long overdue update
yup, it's alive! i'm still here, still alive, still kicking... going through some tornadoes right now (too big to explain) but it's all good, God is in control, i am not, hallelujah. but bleh, it stinks!
at the moment i am in hiding from tornadoes at some friend's house. thankYou God for friends.
friends who understand the un-understandable, they can't understand the unspoken, but they understand that.... y'know? lol.
got hit by tornadoes in october too, was flush out of contact with functionality, but with the open hearts, arms, and homes of friends, i got through it, i was home again in about three weeks. functioning in a first quasi-normality, then in the typical "stuffs shoved in the closets and i'm me again" kind of normalcy. what is normal, anyways?
tornadoes right now are not as constant as they were in october, very overwhelming, but with periods of normalcy betwixt storms. and i'm talking one mental moment to the next. need some neural-plasticity rewiring of neurons.... so i'm bunkering down at the moment with m&m. where i will be in an hour, a day, a week, i don't know, and i'm not going to think about it, lol.
just gotta let the love of God filter through.
today's word for my life from God:
a funny thing: on the 10th, i read a card on my wall that says "happy birthday, lynne" (3rd).... and i thought, yeah, happy birthday lynne.... and happy deathday, mom...." (the one year anniversary of mom's 'passing' was that day.) and here today i read this in ecclesiastes 3:
.... so one's 'deathday' is better to be celebrated than one's birthday! lol. God has such a cheeky sense of humor with me, sometimes! lol. how hilariously accurate was my 'random' thought that day! heehee.
..... ok, i'm too tired to think more about how to update y'all, so i'll sign off for now. maybe later i'll do some more. ciao guys, i love ya.
at the moment i am in hiding from tornadoes at some friend's house. thankYou God for friends.
friends who understand the un-understandable, they can't understand the unspoken, but they understand that.... y'know? lol.
got hit by tornadoes in october too, was flush out of contact with functionality, but with the open hearts, arms, and homes of friends, i got through it, i was home again in about three weeks. functioning in a first quasi-normality, then in the typical "stuffs shoved in the closets and i'm me again" kind of normalcy. what is normal, anyways?
tornadoes right now are not as constant as they were in october, very overwhelming, but with periods of normalcy betwixt storms. and i'm talking one mental moment to the next. need some neural-plasticity rewiring of neurons.... so i'm bunkering down at the moment with m&m. where i will be in an hour, a day, a week, i don't know, and i'm not going to think about it, lol.
just gotta let the love of God filter through.
today's word for my life from God:
isaiah 11:6 "The wolf also shall dwell with the lamb, The leopard shall lie down with the young goat, The calf and the young lion and the fatling together; And a little child shall lead them. 7 The cow and the bear shall graze; Their young ones shall lie down together; And the lion shall eat straw like the ox. 8 The nursing child shall play by the cobra's hole, And the weaned child shall put his hand in the viper's den. 9 They shall not hurt nor destroy in all My holy mountain, For the earth shall be full of the knowledge of the Lord As the waters cover the sea.also
Ecclesiastes 3: 3 Sorrow is better than laughter, For by a sad countenance the heart is made better.
a funny thing: on the 10th, i read a card on my wall that says "happy birthday, lynne" (3rd).... and i thought, yeah, happy birthday lynne.... and happy deathday, mom...." (the one year anniversary of mom's 'passing' was that day.) and here today i read this in ecclesiastes 3:
1 A good name is better than precious ointment, And the day of death than the day of one's birth;
.... so one's 'deathday' is better to be celebrated than one's birthday! lol. God has such a cheeky sense of humor with me, sometimes! lol. how hilariously accurate was my 'random' thought that day! heehee.
..... ok, i'm too tired to think more about how to update y'all, so i'll sign off for now. maybe later i'll do some more. ciao guys, i love ya.
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