stomp my feet

sometimes i feel like a little kid throwing a tantrum, where i want to complain to God that He would just give me words for the emotions and thoughts and tornadoes in my brain!!!!! stomp stomp stomp my feet, why don't you just give me words? waaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!

so here, i can talk about it from an "outside" perspective, but from an internal perspective it renders me speechless. the uber flux of emotions swamp me and coherency leaves. what's left is a abstract ramble, albeit somewhat poetic ramble of words. outside words, trying to describe the undescribeable.

oh how i miss blogging.... chris fixy puter sooon? eh? pweeze? :)

oh how i hate dissociation.

oh how i love Jesus.... oh how i love Jesus.... oh how i love Jesus..... and i forget the rest!

hmm, i remember something to update from old posts - i did eventually get a cpap machine, and after a three month trial it was clear from the data that it helped keep my oxygen saturation up at night, so it's doing what it's supposed to do, so income assistance ok'd a purchace of a permanent machine for me, and it's kewl. my head is definately able to compute better, which is a huge improvement, although i'm still tired most of the time.

i didn't make it to the wedding in november, which i was very sad about (sorry hen) cuz i really wanted to go.... but i was not in a good headspace, so...... yeah. bah.

i didn't get to visit my friend in edmonton yet. but i will soon, i hope! (rah!)

i am, however, going to get to the gtt in victoria this year, Lord willin', it's in the works.... so mags, i might get to do your dreads sooner rather than later! (if you haven't got them yet) lol.

i need to boogie, ciao for now.