Clover is fearfully sharing some of the things she felt like putting on her facebook status and was too afraid to.
Clover is clinging to God's promise that He has a plan and purpose for her in the midst of craziness.
Clover is tired of being weak, sin-natured, and always struggling to just function.
Clover is tired of always being afraid of people judging her.
Clover is tired of always being told who to be.
Clover is scared of the immensity of her emotions.
Clover is tired of the fight to try to express her true feelings.
Clover wishes life was simpler, easier.
Clover is grateful for simple, strong arms that hug her when she is crying.
Clover is hurting.
Clover is feeling like a soccer ball - kicked.
Clover feels like a target.
Clover is pissed as hell.
Clover is tired of the fight to share her true feelings and then having it thrown back in her face as being self-piteous.
Clover wishes her life, experiences, pain, and very being were validated instead of crushed.
Clover is thankful for a friend who i can be myself, warts and all, with, and she still loves me - warts and all.
Clover is sick of being judged.
Clover is sick of people who are "me so holy".
Clover is sick of always trying to keep things bottled up to stay in control.
Clover wants to break things.
Clover wishes she was in a rubber room and could just let it all out.
Clover is not so good.
Clover is worth shit.
Clover is tired of hearing "rebuke that thought" when she's fighting to access her feelings and emotions for the first time in her life. guess what, it's a real feeling, and Jesus doesn't tell me to suck it up, girlfriend!
Clover is tired of hearing that she just has to try harder, pray more, and pull up her bootstraps.
Clover is tired of people who will only love and accept you if you meet their expectations of who you should be, how you should act, and how mature/healed/delivered you are instead of leaving that in God's hands and loving you anyways.
Clover is just plain tired.
Clover is tired of always being tired.
Clover is tired of life.
Clover wants to "run, run away".
Clover wants to go home. and home just isn't here.
Lynn, I hope that everything is okay with you!
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I don't know you as well as I'd like to..but I can relate to some of your status messages. It is hard to go with the flow..our lives are going somewhere even in the midst of what seems like nothingness and chaos.
ReplyDeleteSin is natural, we are human-we are flawed by nature and design. You aren't a horrible person because you sin. Don't worry.
Emotions are hard to handle, hard to grasp, hard to figure out..all you can really do is go for the ride and try to figure them out as you go. You are strong, you can do it. Life is never simple-you just have to remember it could ALWAYS be worse.
Never let people run over you, you are a human being and worthy of comfort, respect, and love. If you feel kicked, tell someone! The first step to respect is asking for it. If you are judged remember who and what matters. You are beautiful just how you are- imperfections make us beautiful.
Stay strong my friend.
Love,
Karen
wow!
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