Wednesday, September 29, 2010

white hankerchiefs

please watch this video before you read on. the story takes 10 minutes.




i know this story is allegorical of the way the Father God receives His wayward children back to Himself.

but what got me in the gut was the story of the son and the family itself, and.... being wanted.

some of us will never have an old home to return to, with parents who will love you as you are. with family to receive you, a lineage to find your roots and sense of belonging in.

but He sets the solitary in families.

i am so thankful at this moment for friends in the body of Christ who are family. who set out the white hankerchiefs in such abundance. who say, lynnie, you are wanted here. you are loved. not just tolerated, not just put up with. you are as much a part of our extended family as when God puts a child into any family.

i have brothers and sisters in the body who have put out no solitary little white hankerchief of acceptance, but great big sheets of acceptance strung up and proclaimed in a way that cannot be missed.

God is faithful to give us what we need.

what great gifts God has given me, in those who love me.


Saturday, September 25, 2010

a different side of stewardship

i've often said i'm a minimalist at heart, who learned how to be a hoarder.

in decorating/design/architecture magazines, the ones that call out to me are clean, clear, and sometimes almost spartan.

but i live like a hoarder. my mum was a hoarder. and getting rid of anything led/leads to a guilt fest. mum taught me to be responsible and take care of my things - a good steward. and i'm not blaming her for my current condition; but she had a LOT of fear and guilt regarding ownership of things, and it affects a child raised in that environment immensely.

and today's world is one that proclaims, 'take care of our world! reduce, reuse, recycle! if you fail to steward the planet perfectly, you have a mammoth carbon footprint and are contributing to the death of the planet... the you are evil! repent and recycle!' ...i heard mark driscoll once term it 'justification by recycling'.

of course it feeds every fear i inherited from mum of failing to be a good steward before God... which makes hoarding even more difficult a rut to get out of. when my mum died, she left a house full of garbage bags full of minutely collected and sorted 'valuables', which, sure it could all be sold, she planned to be part of the inheritance she left to provide for her one and only child. when the executors went through the house, almost all of it had to be thrown out.

please, Lord, break this fear of not being a good steward before You.... i do not want to end the race like that.

recently i heard an powerful teaching on Hebrews 12 that has impacted me in many ways in one day since hearing it. and part of that impact is how God used it to bring to bear a whole new perspective of stewardship to me.
Hebrews12:1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.
let. us. lay. aside. every. weight.

and. run. the. race.

if it's a weight that hinders me in this race, it is *not* stewardship to hang on to it; in fact, just the opposite.


further on...
Hebrews 12:12-12 Therefore ... make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed.
i am definitely lame; i walk with a decided limp in this faith-walk. spiritually, mentally, emotionally lame, and in need of healing.

so that i may truly run, and not just hobble. spiritually arthritic.

walking through clutter, the stress of dealing with it, and the resultant 'spacing out' where i'm walking around and stepping over stuff without realizing it.... definitely puts me further out of joint, and interferes with the process of healing.

it *is* stewardship to make straight paths for my feet.... literally.

much to chew on and digest.

chewing my spiritual cud. moo.


death to life

...i can't get it to play on my blog.... if you have the same troubles, click on through to vimeo. :)


Thursday, September 23, 2010

statements that pack a theological punch

"People who need help often feel overwhelmed with their emotions, and part of being overwhelmed is that life feels like thousands of fragments. They have lost any coherence and don’t even know where to begin." --Ed Welch, in his article "I Can Help You in Six Words".
that is me. that is me, almost always. no, just always. always, always, always.

these are not necessarily 6 words, or suit the counselling situation... but they pack the punch he talks about in the article, they come to mind and paint such a big picture.... and i cling to them:

if God is not sovereign, God is not God. (rc sproul???)

"upon the solid Rock i stand..." (song)

"he that is joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him." (galatians?)

there is not one random molecule in the universe. (first heard via my pastor -- from sproul?)

He works all things according to the counsel of His will. (bible)

cursed is the ground, for your sake. (genesis)

man falls as God's providence ordains, but he falls by is own fault. (calvin)

without Me, you can do nothing. (bible)

those who look to Him are radiant... (psalms)

more than oxygen, i need Your love... (song) the praise of the glory of His grace... (bible)

the heart is deceitfully wicked above all things... (bible)

all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags. (bible)

in me dwells no good thing. (bible)

what satan meant for evil, God means for good. (bible)

the Lord gives, the Lord takes, blessed be the name of the Lord. (job)

my times are in Your hand... (bible)

"....have you considered My servant Job?" (job)

He became sin, who knew no sin; that we might become His righteousness. (bible)

He who sits in the heavens laughs. (psalms)

You make everything glorious.... and i am Yours.... what does that make me? (david crowder)

He works in us both to will and to do of His good pleasure. (bible)

enoch walked with God.... and was not. (bible) ...(my hearts cry)

who is this coming out of the wilderness leaning on her Beloved's arm? (song of songs)

...if i have not love, i am nothing. (corinthians)

(sorry for the not-verbatim quotes, and the incomplete references, from this incomplete mind....... but enough to point you in the right direction if you're not already there, lol.)

and there are more.... this is just a sampling of nuggets that God uses in me to encourage me and help me focus on Him. memorizing scripture is so important; and so is being able to encapsulate great theological truths in simple, meaningful statements.


Wednesday, September 22, 2010


well, i'm back, i think. two months? ish? huh.

i been keeping busy with other things, but keep thinking of this blog lately.

am currently sick (yah! hi! i'm back! i'm sick!...what a way to kick off eh? lol).... which is a blessing in disguise cuz it means getting to soak in all kinds of good teaching, and trusting in His strength and care.

goals for today? rest. go for a walk around the block, get some vitamin D and fresh air. eat light, drink lots of ginger tea. read a section from Institutes that was recommended to me. start doing a little more concurrent with the little better i'm feeling. (weird sentence there, lol.) would like to vacuum out my laundry area in preparation for a hoped for surprise call saying my "washer/dryer is fixed, can we bring it over ____?" that's mostly it, on the practical daily living side of things. try to not over do it physically, or under do it nutrition wise.

i recently read a post on gluttony that said, basically, the problem with diet schemes is that they try to solve the problem (lose weight; get fit) but will never tell you that you're fat because you have a sin. they also talked about the symptom of gluttony being, as the dictionary defines gluttony, 'habitual overeating'. so what if you are over weight but a habitual under-eater? and that's part of why you are fat? i strongly dislike blanket solutions to complex issues. arrgh. i'm not denying that the sin nature is at the core of almost all problems; but making a blanket statement that implies "all people are fat because they are a glutton" is unhelpful; and could push the person who already has trouble getting themselves to eat a little more over the edge. *sighs* the false diagnosis of one sin (gluttony) could push me further into another (lack of self care for reasons to complex to pigeon hole). hmmm.

i have an appointment to see a surgeon on friday morning; my doctor wants me to have the oft-dreaded colonoscopy. (colonoscopy isn't in the spell check, weird.) things ain't working right; its time to find out what's causing it. various thoughts float through my head... so far as my limited knowledge can tell, the possibilities are broad; anything from hemorrhoids to cancer. (hemorrhoids is a word i would definitely get wrong at a spelling bee.) but.... my God is big, my God is good, always, and my God will be glorified. nothing can happen to me that is outside of His good will.



Outcast, Adopted.

THIS BLOG IS IN NEED OF AN OVERHAUL. there are posts from years back i would not be able to post in good conscience now. i plan to overhaul the blog, and either delete or add a disclaimer to those posts. but that is gonna take time....

The Radical Summons: "
Therefore let us go to Him outside the camp and bear the reproach He endured. For here we have no lasting city, but we seek the city that is to come." Hebrews 13:13.

"The Spirit never loosens where the Word binds; the Spirit never justifies where the Word condemns; the Spirit never approves where the Word disapproves; the Spirit never blesses where the Word curses." —Thomas Brooks

‎"God receives none but those who are forsaken, restores health to none but those who are sick, gives sight to none but the blind, and life to none but the dead. He does not give saintliness to any but sinners, nor wisdom to any but fools. In short: He has mercy on none but the wretched and gives grace to none but those who are in disgrace. Therefore no arrogant saint, or just or wise man can be material for God, neither can he do the work of God, but he remains confined within his own work and makes of himself a fictitious, ostensible, false, and deceitful saint, that is, a hypocrite." --Martin Luther (W.A. 1.183ff)

i will not let You go: "Jacob's sense of his total debility and utter defeat is now the secret of his power with his friendly Vanquisher. God can overthrow all the prowess of the self-reliant, but He cannot resist the earnest entreaty of the helpless." --Albert Barnes

i will not let You go: "Jacob's determination did not flow from his strength, it flowed from his weakness." --Charles Leiter