Wednesday, May 31, 2006
... i got into a bit of a tiff with someone on some forums, becuase i got cranky.... i got cranky at/on/to a person who rubs me the wrong way.
it wasn't right to get mad. i apologized. it's done.
but at the same time i'm frusterated.... why, oh why, do we have personalities that just don't mesh sometimes? why is it that a person can seem SO rude.... and while everyone else successfully ignores it, i can't?
i think it comes down to having a flesh nature, having old war wounds, and maybe being the sensitive, polite canadian that i am. ;)
God always allows pricking to occur in an area we need to work on, doesn't He? and i know a huge area for me is rejection. if i feel like someone's mocking me, watch out. if i feel like someone's putting me down, watch out.
i am thankful that God uses friends - and potential friends - to mold me, shape me, polish me.... as iron sharpens iron.... i'm thankful, even tho it's not fun.
today i was sick, spent the whole day sprawled out in front of the computator.... maybe i been online too long, cuz i'm drained, mentally, emotionally..... i feel a bit messed. i don't seem to be able to extend grace towards others when i feel like this.
and that's how He brings us to Himself - we run dry, we come to Him. He redeems even a dreary day like today. oh, how i love my Jesus.
time to go spend some time at His feet!
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
it's refreshing to read something that says what i feel.... although i have never been one to point out any one particular 'type' of church... it's just everywhere.... *sigh* if i didn't know that my Jesus has a plan and a purpose for allowing all this, i would feel like there was no hope for the body of Christ at large..... but i DO.
God has a purpose and a plan.... and ultimately, He is gonna shake all.... everything that can be shaken will be shaken!!!! at what is not built on Him will not stand!!!!!
i think it's important for us to look at our own individual faith, and examine what we believe against the scriptures, regularly... and root out gunk like fear and guilt from our hearts.
i get so mad when i see the schemes of the enemy at work in christians.... we need to wise up, folks....
if after doing a thorough examination of scriptures, and you still believe what you believe, great. it's most likely true, or something that God will correct in His time. but LOOK at what you believe. EXAMINE it. BE BEREANS.
the Word of God is a powerful weapon... be sure you know how to use it.
don't just listen to other folk and go, 'oh really, i didn't know that was in the bible!?!' .... maybe it is, maybe it isnt... maybe it is, but taken out of context.... have you looked it up? studied it out?
we gotta put on our thinking caps, folks.... God gave us a brain for a reason.
List everything you accomplished today, no matter how small.
[from Daydreaming on Paper]
- got out of bed before 11 am;
- wrote a loo0o0ng reply to a forum thread about who is heir to the promise(but it was mostly scripture);
- checked my email;
- chatted with mom (that's a treasure these days);
- read a whole bunch o' blogs;
- got rid of about 20 extraneous browser tabs i had open;
- writing this, hoping to be encouraged by it.
i'll follow this up, since it's so early in the day, for some goals for today:
- go for a walk (i missed it yesterday);
- have some quiet time reading my bible - not online!;
- listen to sundays sermon again;
- get dressed (been too hot to get dressed in the morning when i'm still upstairs);
- go to town to get some needed stuff;
- do a little de-junking;
- pay some bills (yuck);
- fellowship with my hippie buds online, and let God use me as He may;
- call a friend or two on the phone;
- write blog entries when i get a spark;
- find out when cell is this week - ie, make sure it's not tonight... and if it is, go!
one thing she mentioned is that pretty much none of our talents were taught us in school. it may have enhanced them, but didn't teach them. and i'm like, yeah, that's true.
in fact, in areas that i was talented in, i was held back by the limitations set by schools.
what i learned from school is that you have to be there, if you aren't for a legitimate reason, you are still penalized, and kids can make your life a living hell and those in authority will do nothing to help you.
public schools come from the pit of hell.
well, ok, maybe it's not that bad for everybody, but it was for me.
i am going to homeschool, if i ever have kids. i WILL homeschool. i'm trusting God that i'll be able to. because He wants better for our kids. He wants for my kids more than i can dream or image that i want for my kids. .....cuz He is a good Dad.
Monday, May 29, 2006
i am amazedi finally found it again... i had read this post by the lovely tulip girl, and didn't bookmark it, and then looked and looked and looked and couldn't find it..... and now i did! out of the blue!!!! go figure.
anyways.... the scripture tells us that if we know of someone caught in a sin, we who are spiritual should restore him gently.... watchin ourselves, to make sure we are not tempted.... and carry each others burdens..... and this is how we fill fulfill the law of Christ. (galatians 6:1-2).....
if we see a guy in church hitting a girl, we would pull him aside, i'm sure... and talk to him.. why are you doing that? what happened? love on him.... calm him down.... help him see the error of his ways, speaking the truth in love.
we wouldn't haul him into the other room and yell at him, would we? and if he started pulling away from us, are we going to hollar some more? we wouldn't march him over to the person he struck and make him say 'i'm sorry' to the person he hit, when he's so mad himself he can't have really come to a place of repentance? and if he refused, would we harshly tell him he's being a very bad man and is disappointing his parents? we wouldn't drag him by the scruff of his neck into the bathroom, yell at him some more, pull down his pants and spank him, would we?
....so why would we treat children so harshly?
"if someone is caught in a sin....restore him gently..."
If you were only allowed to have 12 material possessions, what would they be and why?
[from Daydreaming on Paper]
one has to wonder how they came up with the number 12? oh well, here goes:
- my bible. yup, that's #1.
- a computer with internet connection (preferable to a notebook and pen).... a necesarry adjunt to the bible!
- a sleeping bag... for warmth.
- a tent... well, a roof over my head, preferably with heat.
- my asthma puffers.
- toothbrush and toothpaste. (a symbiotic duo!)- to avoid decay and thrush from the asthma puffers. and not rank out anyone i try to whisper the love of God too....
- an unscented, chemical-free bar of soap. for cleanliness that does not cause me asthma.
- a deodorant rock. to avoid stinking....out of consideration for others.
- washcloths and towels... (another symbiotic duo).
- at least one change of clothes... so no-one has to see me neked while i launder (somehow) the first change.... and least until someone needs my other change, that is!
- a pair of shoes, so my feet don't get worn out and infected from walking barefoot all the time.
- a coat.
- a hat to avoid sunburns-i'm fairly fair.
- sunglasses - my eyes are often sensitive to the light. hey, it's either that, or a bottle of tylenol for my sinus woes....
i got fairly serious about this list.... probably becuase sometimes i want to pare down to this kind of extreme... things get overwhelming and i want to go move into a tent and get away from the world. live like a bird of the air or a lily of the field... no worries about food or clothes... trusting God.
i wonder if, when having material possessions, it is possible to learn to trust God to that degree.... well, all things are possible with God. and there are probably many people who have had no material possessions to speak of that never get to that level of trust with Him.... but it makes me wonder that if a person went reaalllyy minimalistic, 'zen' so to speak, a person would be more free to walk and talk with Him.... and get to know Him and trust Him at that deeper level....
i know someone who i went and had coffee with sometimes a ways back.... he had very, very few possessions.... an apartment with it's usual appliances (f/s); a coffee maker; table and chairs; some dishes and cutlery; a broom; an old couch; and old coffee table; an old tv on an old tv stand. (didn't see his bedroom). i think he had a vacuum.
what was striking is that he didn't have any knick knacks, no magazines, books (except his bible), plants, decorations, photo albums, miscellaneous kitchen gadgets...... oddly, oddly empty. and yet.... refreshingly 'clear'... a blank slate, no chaos, nothing to get disordered.... simple.
and sometimes i long for that..... a quiet, empty environment, just me and God. no distractions, no endless mess, nothing....except God.
now, i know i need people in my life - God calls us to that. so some basic necessities for 'entertaining' would be good. and i know we're not called to monastacism or anything like that either.... i guess i can just relate to john the baptist right now - i'd rather be out in the forest eating natural found foods and trusting God for provision. and in laboring to gather berries, pick edible roots, etc, discipline my soul towards Him.....
yet i know i shouldn't *need* to leave the world to get that relationship with Him. i *should* be able to do it now. but sometimes i feel like i've had enough of the 'societal norms' that bring along ties to material things: dinner, having to do dishes; tv, and paying the phone bill; car, and the gas that needs to go in it.
just give me my cavewoman outfit, a cave, and i'll be happy.
..... or would i?
Saturday, May 27, 2006
If you knew no fear, what things would you attempt to do?
[from Daydreaming on Paper]
if i knew no fear, i would actually try to go and hike mt. edziza provincial park... which would mean getting into shape, training for days of hiking and tenting, and learning survival skills, becuase man, that place is ISOLATED. but... i am afraid.
if i knew no fear, i would call up my pastor and say, hey, i got a song to sing on sunday, is that kewl, can i do? ... regardless of how 'well' i play guitar. but... i am afraid.
if i knew no fear, i would be more comfortable around people i am not close to. cuz i wouldn't care what they think of me, how i talk, how i sound when i talk, etc. but... i am afraid.
if i knew no fear, i would get my license and drive down to the island to visit a new friend... and i would drive by myself. (eek!) but... i am afraid.
if i knew no fear, i would get up and prophesy in church a lot more than i do.... i ususally take too long to work up my guts and miss it. but... i am afraid.
if i knew no fear, i would go to my doctor and say, i want to go off all my meds...with or without your help. but... i am afraid.
if i knew no fear, i would take up rollerblading... i used to LOVE rollerskating as a kid. but... i am afraid.
if i knew no fear, i would go get my tattoo in a heartbeat. but... i am afraid.
if i knew no fear, i would go up to single guys and at least try to get to know them. but... i am afraid.
if i knew no fear, i would allow myself to consider moving north. i would allow myself to ask God if that's what He want's for me. but... i am afraid.
if i knew no fear, i would fully LIVE.
"A life lived in fear is a life half lived."
[~Fran, in the movie Strictly Ballroom.]
Monergism: The view that the Holy Spirit is the only agent who effects regeneration of Christians.
It is in contrast with synergism, the view that there is a cooperation between the divine and the human in the regeneration process.
Monergism is a redemptive blessing purchased by Christ for those the Father has given Him (1 Pet 1:3, John 3:5,6, 6:37, 39).
This grace works independently of any human cooperation and conveys that power into the fallen soul whereby the person who is to be saved is effectually enabled to respond to the gospel call (John 1:13; Acts 2:39, 13:48; Rom 9:16).
It is that supernatural power of God alone whereby we are granted the spiritual ability to comply with the conditions of the covenant of grace; that is, to apprehend the Redeemer by a living faith, to come up to the terms of salvation, to repent of idols and to love God and the Mediator supremely.
from:Monergism.com: Classic Articles and Resources of the Historic Christian Faith
[thanks, TulipGirl, for sharing about this site!]
this is, in a nutshell, what i believe.... you can see how it would effect one's view on evangelism, i'm sure!.... i don't have to run to the lost screaming, 'repent now or you're going to hell!'.... becuase they can't. when and if they do repent, it is a work of God.
i find it so pompous when i read quotes like this:
"You have nothing to do but to save souls. Therefore spend and be spent in this work. And go not only to those that need you, but to those that need you most…It is not your business to preach so many times, and to take care of this or that society; but to save as many souls as you can; to bring as many sinners as you possibly can to repentance.”
hello, they can't just CHOOSE what they can't see... they are blinded by sin and satan!!!! they can't come without the grace of God first touching them at His will.
so what is my role?
to love, to share the gospel, to disciple, to minister..... and to relax and remember that i am NOT responsible to keep someone out of hell. it's God's job to save people, not mine. it's my job to love them, water them, reach out to them, speak the truth in love.... not to try to manipulate the unregenerate into mentally assenting to something that in their fallen state they cannot understand.
i am a missionary. i am a missionary in my back-yard. i am a missionary to the seekers whom God puts in my path. if i am called to china, then great; but how often are the perishing IN THE CHURCHES ignored? the people who do not know Jesus, but who are there becuase it's the 'right' thing to do? the people who have heard the gospel, but only through vessels whom have abused them? becuase they only heard religion... not love. THEY are who i am called to be a missionary to.... right here in canada.
"No one has the right to hear the gospel twice, while there remains someone who has not heard it once."
Oswald J. Smith
i'm sorry, but i think that one's a bunch of baloney.... becuase those people may have heard it with their ears, but have totally not understood it with their hearts... not felt the love behind the gospel.
if a gardener sows seeds, and they fall on hard soil, what does he do? he goes back and tills the soil... and tills the soil some more... until it is ready to recieve the seed.
God tills the soil... i am merely the tool He uses.
i will preach the gospel again, and again, and again, until, God willing, they finally UNDERSTAND.
"The reason some folks don't believe in missions is that the brand of religion they have isn't worth propagating."
that's true... it isn't worth propagating.... no religion is. THE CHRISTIAN RELIGION IS NOT WORTH PROPOGATING. there, you heard me say it. becuase Jesus isn't religion, He's relationship.
and where there is love, there is the desire to share that love. God is love. it's His very nature to love. Him in us gives us the very nature to love. that is being a missionary.
” Whenever, in any century, whether in a single heart or in a company of believers, there has been a fresh effusion of the Spirit, there has followed inevitably a fresh endeavor in the work of evangelizing the world.”
A. J. Gordon
THAT is the gas in the tank of the evangelism motor: LOVE... a person's relationship with Jesus.. how much they love Him and He gives them His heart for the perishing.
it's not guilt. God doesn't guilt us, the accuser does...
"'Not called!' did you say? 'Not heard the call,' I think you should say. Put your ear down to the Bible, and hear him bid you go and pull sinners out of the fire of sin. Put your ear down to the burdened, agonized heart of humanity, and listen to its pitiful wail for help. Go stand by the gates of hell, and hear the damned entreat you to go to their father's house and bid their brothers and sisters, and servants and masters not to come there. And then look Christ in the face, whose mercy you have professed to obey, and tell him whether you will join heart and soul and body and circumstances in the march to publish his mercy to the world."
message: you are a hearless, disobedient, un-christian lazybones. result: GUILT!
"If you found a cure for cancer, wouldn't it be inconceivable to hide it from the rest of mankind? How much more inconceivable to keep silent the cure from the eternal wages of death."
message: you are hiding the medicine for the person YOU supposedly can heal...GUILT!
"In our lifetime, wouldn't it be sad if we spent more time washing dishes or swatting flies or mowing the yard or watching television than praying for world missions?"
message: you are lazy, lazy, lazy...GUILT!
"The reason some folks don't believe in missions is that the brand of religion they have isn't worth propagating."
message: and you call yourself a christian... tsk tsk... GUILT!
"The gospel is only good news if it gets there in time"
Carl F. H. Henry
message: you're not doing your good works fast enough!!!! hurry!!!.... GUILT!
"As long as there are millions destitute of the Word of God and knowledge of Jesus Christ, it will be impossible for me to devote time and energy to those who have both."
J. L. Ewen
oh, this one makes me mad... does the call to exhort, edify, and encourage the body mean nothing to you?
the message: don't waste time on those who are already saved.... GUILT!
"The command has been to 'go,' but we have stayed -- in body, gifts, prayer and influence. He has asked us to be witnesses unto the uttermost parts of the earth ... but 99% of Christians have kept puttering around in the homeland."
message: if you don't leave home, you're 'without it'.. ie faith. ...GUILT!
"Believers who have the gospel keep mumbling it over and over to themselves. Meanwhile, millions who have never heard it once fall into the flames of eternal hell without ever hearing the salvation story."
message: don't waste time speaking to yourself with hymns, songs, and spiritual songs.... GUILT!
ok, enough, you get my point.
"All roads lead to the judgment seat of Christ."
...but where we go after that is an entirely different matter....
"I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me." ~John 14:6.
if you believe that your beliefs will get you to eternal life in heaven, but it's not through Jesus, you are horribly, horribly mistaken.... it is a lie straight from the pit of hell, a lie intended to decieve whoever it can, the result being ...death.
JESUS IS THE ONLY WAY.
needless to say, coming home on that early winter morn holds a lot of signifigance for me, and brings much emotion remembering it as i view the pics.... it's a testament to the power of God, that He can take a chicken like me to the BIG CITY and back again... back to the boonies, small town canada, which is all i've ever known.
you may find these pics boring...? but i find them oddly beautiful, catching snippets of blur with the natural light as the sun slowly came up behind the clouds... i especially love the trees. and the roads. and i get a kick out of the only picture that i (accidently) used flash for: the inside of the bus windshield!!!! hehe.
God loved the birds and invented trees. Man loved the birds and invented cages.
man, when i read this, i was immediately struck with how aptly this sums up my view, and recent meditations, on the nature of God vs man.
God loves, the end of which is freedom, and provision of needs;
man loves, the end of which is captivity, and poverty of necessities.
God loves, the end of which is sunshine, shelter, food, and flight;
man loves, the end of which is fluorescent lighting, steel bars, processed food, and confinement to a tin can. (hey, that sound's like living on welfare in the big city! hmmm...)
God loves, and loosens our bonds;
man loves, and tightens the noose.
God loves, and sets us free from the penalty of sin and makes us able to choose willingly;
man loves, and tries to entrap another into believing.
...... oooohh, i think i have a vehemence towards 'entrapment evangelism'.... or, 'evangelical entrapment'!!!!!!
i suppose it's too many hours as a child, spent staring at a wall, listening to someone trying to guilt me into what i was supposed to believe..... until i ran so far away that the only voice i heard - the only voice i could here... the only voice i would hear! ....was God's.
"The man who never reads will never be read; he who never quotes will never be quoted. He who will not use the thoughts of other men’s brains, proves that he has no brains of his own."
whooaa. tons of quotes here.... i <3 quotes... gonna be reading these, for sure!!!
Friday, May 26, 2006
Childhood ambition: Artist.... as well as truck driver, geneticist, mathemetician, carnival worker, opera singer, architect and lawyer.
Fondest memory: i don't know that i have one....?
Soundtrack: Larry Norman would be a good fit! :D
Retreat: the lake (the cold one that doesn't have ton's of sewage dumped into it... how anyone can swim there is beyond me. eww.)
Wildest dream: hike mt. edziza provincial park.
Proudest moment: proudest?.... hmm, that's hard to answer. oh i got it, when i went to LA. i flew halfway there by myself!
Biggest challenge: going to LA
Alarm clock: um... 8:30, i think... i ususally sleep through it these days.
Perfect day: being productive on the computer, eating well, a cool day, going for a walk with close friends, actually doing devotions.... and prayer or cell group in the evening. and feeling restful and not hasselled all day. yeah, that's a very good day.
First job: christian book store
Indulgence: ummm, i don't have many. it used to be books, but i don't have the money now (plus all i want to read is my bible and stuff on the net and the first book i've bought in over a year i think - and i'm allergic to it!!! waaahhh!).... i guess pigging out on fresh watermelon. ummumm good!
Last purchase: a book that i'm too allergic to read: Irresistable Revolution by Shane Claiborne
Favourite movie: Strictly Ballroom
My life: is AWESOME!!!!! thank You, God!
My card: good ol' canadian debit card (from a regular bank)
[tagged by Tamara.... well, sort of! ;) ]
Every day people go down to the pits of a deepest, dark hell... your neighbours, your friends, your relatives... and you don't want to 'blow your witness'... and you don't want to 'turn them off'... you don't want to make them feel like you're 'trying to get them saved', so you dont, and so they go to hell...and i'm asking you, what are you giving them in return?... a 'cool' friendship? I'd rather have people hate me... and the knowledge that i tried to save them. ~Keith Green.
[listen to the sermon in which he said this here.]
there are two ways a person can take this: 'you should this, you should that, you SHOULD'.... or, 'God, give me Your heart for the perishing!'... we can let a mantle of guilt come upon us, or we can take the knowledge that 99% of us don't truly have a heart like that for the lost and bring it before God. and there we discern the wheat from the chaff in the teaching and methods given.
it is good to have a heart that is passionate for the lost. but myself, i don't have a heart that says, 'gotta get them saved, gotta get them saved, even if they hate me for trying'.... because my theology is different. i believe that it is God, and God alone, who does the saving. i don't save people - i'm not the savior! Jesus is. and He saves all whom the Father gives Him... no more, no less. they are not saved on the basis that i worked 'hard enough' to get them there! that is a works mentality.
so what is my role? to LOVE them. ....you can't effectively show the love of God to someone who hates you, can you? sure you can 'feel' agape love towards them, but it's hard to effectively and practically love on someone who can't stand the sight of you, who avoids you like the plague, because you are one of 'those christians'... a "head-in-the-clouds good-fer-nothin bible-thumper". which is what the world thinks of us anyway, merely on the basis that we call ourselves 'christians'....
we must woo them with love, not manipulate them. that was tried during the inquisition... and is tried often enough still. some will not be wooed, that is fine, their heart is not in that place... but a 'man (or woman) of peace', one who's heart is ready to listen, will hear the voice of God in His timing.
but nobody is wooed by the attitude that says, "i'm going to save you, dammit, whether you like it or not!"
yes, we must not 'dumb-down' the gospel... yet we do not merely speak the gospel, we must LIVE IT. faith without works is dead.... sharing the gospel without living it first is merely yet another 'dogma', another 'philosophy of life', another 'religion' among all the others.... and to put it simply... hypocrisy. "oh, give your life to Jesus, God is love!" i say, as i sneer at you for letting your dog pee on my fence.
we need to shut up and LIVE it first... and when we have developed the relationship with the other to the point where they will listen...God, and God alone, will give us the words, at the right time.
when we speak, we must speak as an oracle of God.... the 'this is step 1.... this is step 2...', 'abc's to salvation' form of evangelism is the result of man's wisdom... 'this is how i can get them to listen to me so i can save them'.... to me, this is faulty on four basic premises:
1. i am not to manipulate people into salvation/going to church/listening to me;
2. it is not me/my words they need to hear, but those of God speaking to their hearts;
3. i am not the only 'mouthpiece' that God can/will use to speak into their lives - He speaks into their hearts using any 'device' He so chooses;
4. i am not the saviour.... Jesus is.
so what is the result? relationship, as opposed to religion. and relationship is the best witness to the love of God that we have. it's what He desires to have with us, both personally and as the church; it's what He desires for us to have with each other; and it's what He desires for us to example, and extend, towards those who are cut off from relationship with God - the perishing.
this, to me, is the ministry of reconciliation.
A story about an even which happened some 200 years ago to the Reverend Samuel Rutherford:
Rutherford was the pastor of the Presbyterian Church in Scotland.
One evening a stranger came to the parsonage door and asked if he
could stay for the night. The stranger was welcomed into the
house. It was the custom for the minister and his family to have
devotions at the end of the day and the stranger was asked to join
in this family service, which he did.
After the pastor read the scripture for the day, each person was
asked questions about the Bible. When the time came for the
stranger's question, he was asked an easy one, "How many
commandments are there?............"
The stranger quickly answered, "Eleven".
The minister was surprised at the man's ignorance and immediately
corrected him corrected him by saying, "There are only Ten
The stranger then replied, "Have you never then read, "A new
commandment I give to you, that you love one another"?"
how quick to judge a brother or sister as being 'wrong' we are, when we don't understand where they are coming from.... samuel rutherford was correct in the 'standard' way - there were 10 commandments given to moses by God; but the stranger was thinking outside the box and was just as correct, if not more so.... how often do we correct another person when we do not know what angle they see something from?
by way of example, here is yet another way of answering rutherfords question, from the angle from which i see it.... which is that there are two commandments:
Mark 12:29 Jesus answered him, "The first of all the commandments is: 'Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. 30 And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.' This is the first commandment. 31 And the second, like it, is this: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no other commandment greater than these." (NKJV)
ok, but what about the other 8 commandments of 'the big 10'?
Romans 13:8 Owe no one anything except to love one another, for he who loves another has fulfilled the law. 9For the commandments, "You shall not commit adultery," "You shall not murder," "You shall not steal," "You shall not bear false witness," "You shall not covet," and if there is any other commandment, are all summed up in this saying, namely, "You shall love your neighbor as yourself." 10Love does no harm to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfillment of the law. (NKJV)
so, that leaves us with two commandments. and it is an answer that is as correct as saying ten, or eleven.
we are just too quick to say to another person, 'you are wrong'. it may seem *obvious* to us that they are wrong, but again, it bears repeating: we are seeing it only from our angle.
there is 'room' for people to see the things of God in other ways: He is a manifold God. His knowledge is manifold, His ways are manifold, His love is manifold.
1. Many and varied; of many kinds; multiple: our manifold failings.
2. Having many features or forms: manifold intelligence.
3. Being such for a variety of reasons: a manifold traitor.
4. Consisting of or operating several devices of one kind at the same time.
consider that as you read the following (empheses mine):
Ephesians 3:8 To me, who am less than the least of all the saints, this grace was given, that I should preach among the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ, 9 and to make all see what is the fellowship of the mystery, which from the beginning of the ages has been hidden in God who created all things through Jesus Christ; 10 to the intent that now the manifold wisdom of God might be made known by the church to the principalities and powers in the heavenly places, 11according to the eternal purpose which He accomplished in Christ Jesus our Lord, 12in whom we have boldness and access with confidence through faith in Him. 13Therefore I ask that you do not lose heart at my tribulations for you, which is your glory.
14For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, 15from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, 16that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, 17that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, 18may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height 19to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.
20Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, 21to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.(NKJV)
i see one facet of the precious gem that is God; you see another. may we use that difference to foster relationship... not rejection.
and if we still believe the other is wrong?... don't get into disputes over doubtful things.... we will find out who's right when we get to glory - so love them anyway, just as they are now.
It is not only wrong to worry, it is infidelity, because worrying means that we do not think that God can look after the practical details of our lives, and it is never any thing else that worries us. Have you ever noticed what Jesus said would choke the word He puts in? The devil? No, the cares of this world. It is the little worries always. I will not trust where I cannot see, that is where infidelity begins. The only cure for infidelity is obedience to the Spirit.
The great word of Jesus to His disciples is abandon.
~Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, May 23......[read more here.]
fidelity: a truthful connection to a source; loyalty and attentiveness to one's duty or King; monogamy, and lack of adultery; how accurate a copy is to it's source.
[culled from Wikipedia.]
when i worry... how true of a connection do i have to my Source? am i knit right in there with Him? or have i allowed myself to drift, so that He feels far away? have i been tending to the vineyard, my relationship with Him? have i been partaking of His manna, His bread, daily?
when i worry... how attentive am i to my King? to His Omnipotence? do i remember that my destiny is pre-ordained, and that all things are for my benefit? and i being loyal to my duty as a child of God? am i trusting Him to take care of me? am i casting aside worry and doubt, and putting on the mind of Christ? whatsoever is pure, whatsoever is lovely.... am i thinking on those things?
when i worry... do i have other god's before Him? do i look to myself to provide, or Him? do i look to the government to be my safety net, or to Him? do i look to Him to be my guidance, or to the counsel of man? am i staying true to my Beloved, or have i given my heart over to other things?
when i worry... how accurately conformed to the image of Christ am i? do i seek to do the will of my Father in heaven, only? do i say, Your will be done, not mine? do i only do and say only what my Father tells me? am i willing to lay down my life for the Gospel? for others? am i willing to run the race, even if i suffer loss?
Lord, i want to be a high-fidelity christian. i want to be true to who You are. i want to sound like You, i want to smell like You, i want to taste like You, i want to look like You, and i want my love to feel like Yours. i want to live my life like You, for You, in You, and through You. You must increase and i must decrease... i want to be crucified with You... so that i no longer live, but You live in me. may it be so, Lord. into Your hands i commit my spirit. i am Yours.
Thursday, May 25, 2006
To avoid criticism do nothing, say nothing, be nothing. ~Elbert Hubbard
that quote about sums up my evening. sometimes i have to wonder why some people just have to criticise others... and they do it in the name of Jesus.
but that's not the Jesus i know.
my Jesus is Love... He has patience, and is infinately kind... He does not envy, parade Himself, or get puffed up. He does not behave rudely, does not seek His own, is not provoked, and thinks no evil. He does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in Truth. He bears all my screw-ups, believes in me, hopes in me, and endures all things.... even to the point of death.
we need to, in conforming ourselves to the image of Christ, give our brothers and sisters in the Lord some slack. because...
...But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge it will vanish away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away. When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known. And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love. ~ 1 Corinthians 13:8-13, NKJV.
all the reasons we *think* we have for criticizing other people are gonna VANISH. let us not judge another man's servant - for that Man is the Lord Jesus Christ, and i am not your servant, i am Jesus'. you are not my servant, you are Jesus'. to our own Master we will rise or fall, we have not business trying to make the other person rise when we think they should... or fall when we think they should. that is God's authority alone. we are simply called have love for one another. come, beloved, let us love one another.... for they will know we are His by the way we love one another.
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
i've had really weird taste in my mouth, and wondering if it's my sinuses... or my teeth.
since i got my retainers added onto a few years ago (good ol' tooth-drift after a few years with braces off), i've not been flossing adequately.
i'm arguing with myself now: remove the retainers, remove vanity, remove the barriers to good dental health (i have 11 teeth bonded together with wire and glue)... crooked teeth, so what?
or... keep the retainers, keep the barriers to good dental health... i don't think there's still vanity about my teeth, but then why would the idea of just letting my teeth drift irk me so?.... there are practical reasons - it was screwing up 'my bite'....
maybe this worry i have about rotten teeth is just that - a worry. tsk tsk! ;) .... or maybe it's God rooting out the last remnents of vanity from me? (tho i'm sure it would be far from the last! :P ) .... right now i do not have a settled peace about it either way - remove them or keep them....
my usual tactic when i do not have peace, it to not budge until i do. *but*.... one of my retainer wires has come unattached from one of the teeth that will likely float.... so if i do not do something soon, it may become a moot point. the dreaded tooth drift will be well under way....
but for now, i'm not going to do anything - i do not currently have the financial means to see a dentist, i'll have to find a new dentist!- and then have to wait a few months to get in, i'm sure.... i have a few priorities, money-wise, that will probably come before even this, if and when i have some 'xtra' money....
... so maybe that means that this is not a vanity issue per se... because i'm not scrambling to find the money to do it, putting it ahead of other priorities... if that's true, that's way kewl. :D
this handy dandy tool allows you to use the 'blogthis!' feature.... from ANY website, not just blogspot sites, by way of a simple right click. a big THUMBS UP!!!!!
as i was trying to remember the right way to spell 'covenant' (ie. not 'covanent') i realized why it is that i have such a weird time spelling it right - it's spelled the same as a 'witches coven'.
needless to say, where i am at in my life now as compared to where i was a few years ago, i don't like that word very much! so i automatically write 'covanent'... it's the way i say it after all - kuh'-vah-nent.... but sad to say, that's not the way it's spelled. i looked it up, and yessirree, it is a 'bastardization' of the word covenant. yet another example of the twisting of the Truth the enemy of our souls does... and convinces us to believe. *sigh.*
but i think that now i'll never forget how to spell it again....
just for fun, i googled it, and there were 34 million entries for 'covenant'.... and a whopping 24 thousand for the misspelled version.
one perspective that i differ on, tho, is the idea that "God will judge, so i don't have to"...
i think our heart should be more along the lines of "God will judge them, so.... oh, He's gonna *judge* them! whoa!!!! Lord, forgive them!!!!".....
[originally called:6 Random Facts about little ol' me!]
1. if i should die (if what happened to enoch doesn't happen to me - he walked with God then just poof disappeared, God liked him so much... hey, it could happen...) - then i am on the list to be an organ donor... after that, i wouldn't mind if my body were donated for scientific research. particularly my brain. they might find something interesting.
2. my alter ego is The Bandido Lady. sometimes when my asthma is really bad, i walk around particularly allergenic places with a scarf around my face. lookin' like i'm gonna rob a bank or something! when i wear my pink scarf, i am The Pink Bandido Lady... i like the particular 'ring' that one has! :D
3. i hate trying to decide what my favorite flower is when that question comes up in a quizztionaire like this.... but i finally figured it out - the dandelion. they are so beautiful and cheery! "weeds" are full-fledged plants too, they are just in the wrong place at the wrong time. i've been told i'm a "sucker" for the underdog.... i just call it empathy.
4. my favorite book of the bible is the Song of Songs, aka the Song of Soloman. it's my Beloved's, my Jesus', love letter to me. that's why i have a whole 'nother blog about it ~ Song of my Beloved. which i haven't written in since i started it. YET. but i will. i hope. soon. one day.
5. i have pink dreads. [ok, yeah, like you didn't know that one already, at least if you've been reading this blog at all].... [oh, and yeah, the pink is fading... but they're still pink. just a pale pink.] .... i love my dreads. they make me feel....feminine. beautiful. it's made the whole scripture about my hair being my glory take on a whole new meaning. i really do feel beautiful. thanks, Daddy.
6. i don't like the number 6. it's the number that represents 'man'. yeah, i just don't like it. mankind is baaad news, man. ;) ...so i'm adding another number to this list... wait.. you guessed it...7!!!! now, the number 7 is my favorite. i wish it didn't sit next to 6 all the time. hmmm... well, maybe i should be no respecter of numbers.... do i need to repent?
7. i want a tattoo. to honor my God and King. whaaaa??? well, i'm marked with the name of my Lord Jesus. i want Him to draw on me too! ;) ... and i've been thinking of ear plugs. or whatever they are called - i'm very un-hip, y'know. why? because body piercing saved my life. Jesus was pierced for me. He freed me. and any good slave worth his beans back in the day would pierce his ear with an awl into the his masters door(post?)... to indicate that by choice, out of a bond of love, he would stay with him forever.... and become, by choice, a bondslave.... who the master considers a friend. that is so weird to the world, eh?.... anyways, plugs would really change the shape - deform, really - the natural shape of my ears. but then, my 'natural life' has been totally changed, radically changed from what it was before. my ears for my Jesus - hardly compares to His life for mine.
Monday, May 22, 2006
10 years ago, I: was drifting away from 'that stuff' and seeking my purpose in life... God was working on me!
5 years ago, I: had been saved for 2 years, but suffering from much depression and past wounding....feeling like i'd never be free.
2 years ago, I: started seeing God's vision for my life....but it still seemed impossible.
1 year ago, I: started feeling like maybe i *could* do great things for God after all!
6 months ago, I: stepped out of my comfort zone and this homebody flew from my small town to the big city of Los Angeles to attend an international conference. now that's God.
Yesterday, I: saw a greater vision for what God can do - through us who serve Him - in the e-realm.
Today, I: feel God's love and acceptance so totally. i feel at peace that God will be able to do through me what He calls me to. He takes even chickens like me and makes them brave!!!!
Tomorrow, I: could be here, or be in heaven....i have enough to do today - i leave tomorrow up to God!!!!!
A: um.... the internet/computer. there are so many opportunities to meet people and minister to their hearts. there are so many ways to keep in touch with loved ones. you can make art, listen to music or sermons, and you have a whole world-sized library at your feet! you can study and write to your heart's content. you can find ways to build your faith.
so yeah, i wonder why everybody doesn't do it.
i think it's such a part of me partly because of my personality. i'm naturally inclined to sedentary/mental activities such as reading and writing and studying and artwork. it's a very easy (physically!) to DO alot of things and make a difference in other people's lives. it's a way of serving God that just sync's in with who i am, how i express myself, and how i am most comfortable relating to other people.
if it were 50 years ago, i'm sure my ministry would involve a lot of letter-writing!
i just love sitting and communicating God's heart and love to those who need to hear it. it just suits me.
i think this was a very good meme for me today. i have been feeling some condemnation for always being on the computer.... not that anybody's said anything (except 'are you moving around enough', which i'm always thinking about already)... it's more the accuser than anything. trying to put a dent in what i'm doing!
i'm really feeling that God is in the process of showing me how .... 'valid'.... an online ministry can be, how 'valid' online relationships can be.... and how true it is that God sets up divine appointments in the e-realm just as He does in the 3D-realm.....
i feel God hugs right now.... *happy weepy grins*
some of their prayers are awkward, and yet they are so beautiful despite their awkwardness! the beauty comes from the heart behind it. ..... so who are we to think sometimes that we don't pray 'well enough'?
i used to see this kind of thing with a lot of cynicism.... i mean, how could little kids pray or worship, really? they're so young, they don't have a clue about how things work....
but hello, that's the whole point! to have faith like a child. i mean, it's not like they are UNable to understand who God is, and what He has saved them from, and where He is taking them in life! that is simple, simple stuff. and it confounds the wise....
one thing that's done lots to change my mindset about this kind of stuff has been happening in my own church. there are a couple 10-12 year old boys who, week after week, spend worship on their knees at the 'altar' (we don't really have one, we're in a gym, but you know what i mean!)....thing is, i know one of these kids pretty well. he is *not* the kind of kid to 'stick around' if he's bored. he's *not* the kind of kid who would be able to keep it up, week after week, for an hour or more each sunday, if he were 'pretending'..... with him, it would have to be genuine. and i know his heart towards God.... whoa, man. this is one 11 year old who is gonna be an awesome man of God when he's grown up.
so these days, i see something like this video through different eyes than i used to. i guess, like i wrote about the rainbows yesterday, my vision is being colored by God's rainbow.....
thank God that we can never be so stuck in one mindset that He cannot release us from it!
Sunday, May 21, 2006
and i saw the most brilliant double rainbow i've ever seen.
both rainbows arched from the ground, up and across all the way across the sky, and all the way down to the ground again.... two full and complete rainbows.
and to top it all off, the rainbows didn't just disapper into the ground somewhere into the distance, behind a hill or some buildings.... no, it was in front of everything, practically into the ground at our feet.
we drove over a trainyard on an overpass, and i could see the rainbow in front of all the tracks, coloring the grime of the dark, ugly boxcars.
i can't help but feel, in retrospect, that it's indicitive of God's promises to me... they are all encompassing (full arches), more than i could ever imagine (double rainbows), and very present, very real, very now (into the ground very close to us).
not to mention that if i look at my life through God's eyes, it colors everything in the world the colors of His promises.
it felt like a rainbow hug from God.
Saturday, May 20, 2006
2. Book #1 -- first sentence
"That it's a very evil choice to choose sin rather than affliction." (from "The Evil of Evils", by Jeremiah Burroughs [1599-1646])
3. Book #2 -- last sentence on page fifty
"I only look to Him." (from "The Mind of Christ", but T.W. Hunt)
4. Book #3 -- second sentence on page one hundred
"Don't be too quick to judge what other people believe is God speaking to them." (from "Life Directions - experiencing the gift of God's guidance", by Jane Kise & David Stark)
5. Book #4 -- next to the last sentence on page one hundred fifty
" "Why not just 'love'?" asked a confused little girl." (from "Crusade of Tears", by C.D. Baker)
6. Book #5 -- final sentence of the book
"Mr Huss lay stiff, as the doctor had ordered him to do; but the hand he stretched down could just touch and caress her hair." (from "They Undying Fire - a novel based on the book of Job", by H.G. Wells)
7. Make the five sentences into a paragraph:
Don't be too quick to judge what other people believe is God speaking to them.... that it's a very evil choice to choose sin rather than affliction. Mr Huss lay stiff, as the doctor had ordered him to do; but the hand he stretched down could just touch and caress her hair. I only look to Him. "Why not just 'love'?" asked a confused little girl.
[found at The Daily Meme.]
Friday, May 19, 2006
now me, i'm not a parent, but it's good insight into healthy adult/child interactions... and i think we could apply much of it to adult/adult interactions as well.
it also makes me think about lots of things from my past.... insight. yeah.
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and true enemies;
If you are honest, it will make you vulnerable and they might cheat you;
Be honest anyway
What you spent years building, they may destroy overnight;
The good you do today, they often will forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it will never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them, anyway.
I AM: not God. only God is I AM. on the other hand... i am me. i don't capitalize 'i' when referring to me, cuz God is 'I'. i am not worthy of comparison! *~smiles~*
I WANT: to be more like Jesus... and more who He made me to be. may i be faithful with what He shows me.
I WISH: that more of my friends blogged. and regularly, too.
I HATE: meanness. this one was simple, eh? ok, i'll add to that... lack of grace and mercy towards others. shouldn't we show others what Jesus has shown us in our imperfection?
I MISS: when my mom was working... she always had money to take me on a trip, or buy me some new jeans.... and man, i need new jeans... but God knows what i need! *~grins~*
I FEAR: far too much. there's all kinds of little gremlins in our lives that pop up and cause us worry, isn't there? shoo, gremlins, shoo! *~ha!~*
I HEAR: literally, i'm hearings JesusMusicOldies radio. i love it.
I WONDER: what's in store for me. it's like i'm standing on a threshold looking out the door, and the world is a big, beautiful, adventurous place... and i don't know where God's taking me.
I REGRET: that i am not more bold. yet.
I AM NOT: active enough. i am, by nature, inclined to sedentary activites - reading, writing, putering.... but i find i that i'm loving my little walks with mom.
I DANCE: only at church (usually! see above. *~grins~*)... i used to be on the church dance team, but it dissolved. that's why i'm so out of shape!!!! he he.
I SING: lots. in various styles, too. softly, loud, bluesy, folky, operatically. i love singing... but i've had to lay it at my Lord's feet because of my post-nasal drip and asthma - sometimes i am just unable to sing.
I CRY: not enough.... but more and more as God melts the frozen parts of my wounded heart. ...gee, that sounded so poetic! and melodramatic...
I AM NOT ALWAYS: sociable. it's hard to make relationships in the 3D realm... i'm tired, i don't always know what to say, sometimes my brain is just so fogged up i feel lost. it's very hard when i don't feel well and have to cancel a visit, so more often than not i just don't plan a visit.... but to 'visit' on the computer, well, all i have to do is twiddle my thumbs (and fingers!)
I MAKE WITH MY HANDS: right now, websites... at least i'm learning. in the 3D realm?... music, i guess. on the guitar, mostly.
I WRITE: music. musings. meditations. memes. i try for daily, but i don't always succeed!
I CONFUSE: others, alot, i think. for some reason, when i say something, it doesn't always convey exactly what i mean it to.... and it's frusterating. i'm confused as to why that happens! *~smiles~*
I NEED: my Jesus.
I SHOULD: not should on myself. you shouldn't should on yourself, doncha know? :D
I START: a lot of projects.
I FINISH: very few of them.
I TAG: Christy~!
- there are international guidelines for how to make web pages.
- there are international guidelines for how browsers display those web pages.
- this is so they look the same in all browsers ( eg. firefox, internet explorer, opera, mozilla, etc)
- most browsers follow those guidelines.
- internet exploror doesn't. and they know it.
- so webpage creators have to spend hours to get their webpages to even display in internet explorer.... if they can.
- thus, internet explorer is the bane of the webpage creator's existence.
- so do us a favor, and get firefox. or opera. or mozilla..... anything but internet explorer.
for example: when you widen and narrow the browser window, my main column should grow and shrink with it... but it does not in IE. the glassy background of my columns/header/footer should look like glass floating over the background, but it doesn't in IE - the pattern stays the same. and some things don't totally line up sometimes.
well, ok. after many hours (days!) hacking the template of this blog to get my sidebar to show up where it should - beside my main column - in internet explorer (while it's perfect in firefox), i feel i should write about why i reaally dislike internet explorer.
i am NOT an "i hate all things msn!" kind of person.
but i am learning how to code webpages, and learning how to do it "properly".... see, there is a group called the WC3 consortium that has guidelines out for web designing so that pages will look good in ALL browsers.... at least, all browsers that comply with their recommendations. problem is, while most browsers try very hard to be up-to-date on these things, internet explorer is waayyy behind. besides it's known security issues, it has it's very own way of rendering webpages for you to view that largely ignores the WC3 recommendations.
what happens then is that web designers spend many wasted - and costly - hours hacking away at their carefully compliant coding to get their pages to work in the very non-compliant IE...
IE is still the most used browser out there... so we developers (i use that term for myself rather lightly, as i'm new and inexperienced at all this) try to accomodate the masses... with many hours of labour to accomodate for a faulty browser!!!
why should we, the designers, accomodate the out-of-date?
why not stop using the out-of-date, at least until it comes up-to-date?
in which case, why spend wasted hours trying to get it to look right in a browser that's deliberately dragging it's feet?
so.... beyond basic usability of this page in IE, i'm not going to waste my time on hacks. if it doesn't look right, fine, it doesn't look right. your choice, as the browser. i strongly recommend you dump IE and use a different browser, firefox is great - i'm partial to it myself - but opera and safari, for example, also comply with WC3 standards, and thus work great. no browser is perfect; but these are all far better than IE. fine out what's available at BrowseHappy.
Then he who had recieved the one talent came and said, "Lord, i knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you have not sown, and gathering where you have not scattered seed. And i was afraid, and went and hid your talent in the ground. Look, there you have what is yours." Matthew 25:24-25, NKJV.
as i already mentioned in the post My Gentle, Gentle Abba God, he was afraid because he believed his master to be a hard man. why? because he reaps where he has not sown, and gathered where he has not scattered seed....
i believe the basic impression this guy had was that if he was going to do all the work, and his master was just going to take it from him, what's the point? doesn't he get anything out of it? he's gonna sow, but his master will reap... he's gonna scatter the seeds, but his master will gather it... what's the point? he gets nothing out of it.
aaah, but it comes back to knowing his master. he is right, his master will reap where he has not sown, but when he does, he says: "well done, good and faithful servant; you were faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. enter into the joy of your lord."
wow. it doesn't sound like his master will just take the fruit of his labour and leave him with no reward, does it?
but he evidently didn't understand that about his master.... he did not really know the true nature of the one who he called his master.
so he chose, rather than work and get nothing in return, to just bury the talent where it would be safe, and give it back when his master returned. he wanted nothing to do with it. into the dirt it went. and when his master returned....
But his lord answered and said to him, "You wicked and lazy servent, you knew that i reap where i have not sown, and gather where i have not scattered seed. So you ought to have deposited my money with the bankers, and at my coming i would have recieved back my own with interest." Matthew 25:26-27, NKJV.
his master saw through the servants thinly veiled disgust with his master's ways, and saw him for what he was, wicked and lazy.
whaat! but he was afraid? c'mon, give him a little leeway, here....
think... what was his motivation for burying it rather than taking it to the bankers? it would have been as easy drop it in the bank as it was to drop it in the dirt, right?
becuase it shows the servents true heart towards his master - if he wasn't gonna get anything out of it, neither was his master. he wasn't going to honour his master even to the point of letting him reap interest on what he had not sown. he felt he deserved to reap the fruit of his sowing, that he deserved to be paid, he deserved reward....
so, this man, who did not know his master as being
1) a kind and benevolant master, and
2) a master who deserves to reap all that is ever sown...
...was he a servant at all? he claimed to be a servant of his master, but he did not even know his master. if he had the heart of a true servant, he would have taken his one talent and done as the man with two talents did - two talents aren't much either, right? but his heart was "it's not mine, it's my masters, and i will honor him and serve him"... that man was indeed a servant. this man was not.
so, "wicked and lazy servant" does not have the sting it once did, does it?
this is a description of those who are in the camp of God, but not of it.... the goats among the sheep. i will never have that heart of utter disregard for my Master, to never sow my talents and allow Him to reap as is His due... becuase i am a sheep. He has given me the heart of a sheep... i know my Master. i know His worth to reap all that i have sown. i know that i am not worthy of payment for my work.... and i know that my Benevolent, Kind Master will reward me far more than i can imagine.... and i am unworthy of it...
so i need not feel condemned by this passage of scripture. yes, i may bury my talents for a time... but knowing that i know my Master's voice, i will, as He eases my fear and brings healing to my heart, enable me to dig them up, and sow them to His glory and honour.
oh, my Merciful, Merciful Master.... i fall at Your feet. take all that i have sown, Lord! and help me to dig up what i have buried and sow it for Your glory as well. my Jesus, i love You.... oh how i love You so, my Benevolent, Kind Master Jesus.
For the Kingdom of Heaven is like a man travelling to a far country, who called his own servants and delivered his goods to them. and to one he gave five talents, to another two, and to another one, to each according to his own ability; and immediately went on a journey.... Matthew 25:14-15, NKJV.
the talents were given "to each according to his own ability".... God knows our ability to handle our 'talents' - whether monetary talents as in the parable, or literal talents - and gives accordingly. i will revise that: God knew and planned - before the foundation of the world! - our ability, and gave accordingly.
simply put: if God has given me many talents, it is because - in Him - i have the ability i need to handle them, or He would not have given them in the first place....
do i look at my abilities through the lens of my condition: tired, fearful, shy, etc?... or do i look at them through the lens of my position: i can do all things through Christ... i am more than a conquerer through Christ... i am seated in heavenly places with Christ..... put on your God-glasses, girl!
yes, in my own strength, i will fail...does that mean i do not try? do i sit back and wait until i know i will succeed? NO!....if i do not try, i will not really understand the depths to which He makes me able... and if i fail, it is so that i will learn to stand up and try again. yes i may fail... even a righteous man falls seven times.... but he gets back up.
we are like babies learning to walk. we're gonna fall flat on our faces sometimes... but it is God who grows the muscles we need to be able to walk. the baby does not conciously say "muscles, grow!", does it? no... it just tries to walk, again and again. God grows the muscles, being the Abba Father who takes my chubby little baby fist and says "good job! great try! now try again, My child!".... He claps His hands with joy when i take some baby steps.... He does not get mad when i fall.... He comforts me, and encourages me, and helps me up yet again.
oh, oh, oh, what a loving DaddyGod we have! i am overwhelmed by His patience with me.
1 Peter 4:10 - As each one has received a gift, minister it to one another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God. (NKJV)
if i have received it, God wants me to minister it... or He wouldn't have given it to me....
am i like the guy who buried his one talent? well, why did he bury it.... he was afraid. he thought his master was a hard man, a taskmaster..... but he was not, he was a gracious master... "well done, good and faithful servant.... enter in to the joy of your lord..."....
so it is with our God. He is not a hard Master, a taskmaster... he's not gonna whip me if i do it wrong. if He gives me a talent, monetary or as a literal talent, He intends me to give it. if He gives me a song, He intends for me to minister it to the brethren, else He would not have given it in the first place....
... i buried my gifts, yes.... because i had some fear of my Gentle Abba God. He is so gracious, He shows where we are not yet where He wants us to be in such a gentle way... He corrects us in such a gentle way.... if i stumble in my song, He will simply help me back up, and say "try again, My child".... just as He is now helping me back up, and saying "try again, My child"....
Thursday, May 18, 2006
...become too much a part of this world?
...feel like you've gone too far to return?
read this...and may it bless you as it did me.
"Once a king or queen in Narnia, always a king or queen in Narnia".....
[via TulipGirl...thanks for bloggin' this one!]
how often do we figure someone else has to pay for what they've done ... when we do not? Jesus paid for us. He bought us back from the chopping block... yet we put those who've done us wrong right up there on the block.
this blog entry has a very good point: do kids ever think, "i did something wrong, but i paid for it when i got spanked or timed-out"...? and if so, does that jive with our faith?
not really. Jesus paid for it already. what example is it setting, then? "mmwhaahahaha, you must pay!!!!"
how many of us, as adults, have that same mindset towards others? ..... or towards ourselves? .... but that is now how Jesus looks at us. He looks at them, and us, with eyes of utter grace. such undeserved, merciful grace..... i think that realization motivates us to 'straighten up' a lot more than the impending doom of punishment.
btw, i'm not - at this point - completely anti-spanking... i have heard some amazing testimony of what God has done in a friend's life thru her loving fathers gentle, grace-filled, loving discipline... which included spanking... as well as long talks, loving embraces, and many tears on the part of both her and her father....the right way.
but i definately think it's done in a bad way much - if not most - of the time. it depends on the child, the situation, etc.
as a contrast to my friend's story, the one time i was 'spanked' - a wet cloth snapped on the bum, not in wrath but in humor for being a ratfink, that ACCIDENTLY made contact and stung like the dickens... with much apologies and hugs after on the part of my mum.... i was traumatized. i think i was the epitome of an example of a child who could have been destroyed by spanking. i was far too insecure and fragile. my mum just had to look at me a certain way and i was devastated to realize i had dissapointed her - that was punishment enough.
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Saturday, May 13, 2006
1 Peter 1:6-8, NKJV - "Therefore it is also contained in the Scripture, "Behold, I lay in Zion a chief cornerstone, elect, precious, and he who believes on Him whill by no means be put to shame." Therefore, to you who believe, He is precious; but to those who are disobedient, "The stone which the builders rejected has become the chief cornerstone," and "A stone of stumbling and a rock of offense." They stumble, being disobedient to the word, [c]to which they also were appointed." [c]=Romans 9:22.
Romans 9:21-24, NKJV - "Does not the potter have power over the clay, from the same lump to make one vessel for honor and another for dishonor? What if God, wanting to show His wrath and to make His power known, endured with much longsuffering the vessels of wrath prepared for destruction, and that He might make known the riches of His glory on the vessels of mercy, which he had prepared beforehand for glory, even us whom He called...."
"For what credit is it if, when you are beaten for your faults, you take it patiently? But when you do good and suffer, if you take it patiently, this is commendable before God. For to this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps...." 1 Peter 2:20-21, NKJV.
"For it is better, if it is the will of God, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil." 1 Peter 3:17, NKJV.
"Therefore let those who suffer according to the will of God commit their souls to Him in doing good, as to a faithful Creator." 1 Peter 4:19, NKJV.
"Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you; but rejoice to the extent that you partake in Christ's sufferings, that when His glory is revealed, you may also be glad with exceeding joy. If you are reproached for the name of Christ, blessed are you, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you." 1 Peter 4:12-14, NKJV.
"But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you. To Him be the glory and the dominion forever and ever. Amen." 1 Peter5:10-11, NKJV.
"In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ." 1 Peter:1-6-7, NKJV.
anyone who says being a follower of Christ is supposed to be easy is flat-out lying. the choice is easy: fleshly indulgent life now, and eternal wrath later; or temporary suffering now, and an eternity in glory later.... but the walk is hard.
and yet the peace of knowing that God has ordained my struggles, that He is using them for my benefit, and to display His glory in this world... and that one day there will be no more tears in my eyes.... yeah. now that is what i call peace.
i have often said one can be in the depths of despair, and have the joy of the Lord... in the deepest depression, yet know the peace of God in our hearts..... because our joy and peace is not in our circumstances, it is in the hope that we have, the surety of our calling, the promise of an eternal inheritance as sons and daughters of the Most High God.
oh, for the day i am standing in the waves of eternal worship at His throne... "holy, holy, holy...." oh, for the day that i am the little girl sitting on my Daddy-God's knee and He wipes the tears from my eyes... oh, for the day that i am free from this body of death and am present with the Lord.
oh, how i look toward that day.....
Thursday, May 11, 2006
my other favorite pages from that contest....
confess-o-matic - love it!
web's smallest art museum
this one's better than bubble wrap!
random rothko - some kewl color combinations!
a nap... - actually kind of profound, end on a pause-itive note....
these are my kind of fun! :D
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
i got mad at the devil who speaks lies to God's children.
i got mad that he uses our brothers and sisters to speak those lies.
i got mad that he puts a burden on God's children that are not of God.
i got mad that he uses people to dump ungodly expectations on us.
i got mad that he uses our brethren to pour condemnation on those who are already suffering.
i got mad that he convinces God's children that God is not in control!!!!
i just plain got spittin' mad.
and i stomped his head good.
Monday, May 08, 2006
how blessed are the feet of those who bring GOOD news... the Gospel message, the Good News, is one of love, not anger; one of peace, not strife; one of grace, not condemnation. how horrible to bring to others the Living Water in a vessel contaminated with death!!!!
Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show by good conduct that his works are done in the meekness of wisdom.
But if you have bitter envy and self-seeking in your hearts, do not boast and lie against the truth.
This wisdom does not descend from above, but is earthly, sensual, demonic.
For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there.
But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy.
Now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.
~James 3:13-18, NKJV~
oh, may i be like that, Lord.
Saturday, May 06, 2006
WOW did these verses speak to me last night, and again today..... it's like, we need to be fed, built up, strengthened, by the GRACE that comes of the broken body of Christ, and this is not something we deserve....built up with food of Him, and not the "food" earthly sacrifices, human efforts may bring, that we think we 'deserve' some how - these are the "strange doctrines" that have not profited those who have been busy with all that....... they profited nothing for people for millenia, why do we think it will profit us something now? yet we persist.... but there are no more offers to be made, He made them all, and just like the sin offering's blood went into the sanctuary and it's body was destroyed outside the camp, so Jesus' blood made the way for us to have access to the sanctuary by His crucifixion outside the city gates, so we must have our life hid in Him in the sanctuary, by the way He made for us via His blood, our 'life-blood', our spirit, is already in teh sanctuary, and we are to be outside the camp, outside of vain repetition of strange doctrines.... the way was made by Him alone!!! GLORY BE TO GOD!!! we are outside the camp of the world, waiting in hope for our coming home, knowing our spirits are already there, and our mortal bodies are still on earth, but no longer of the earth, our home is not within the camp, we are outside, outsiders, aliens in this world, waiting for our heavenly home,waiting for the Father Hen to call His chicks home.... hallelujah. the things of this world will not nourish us, they will starve us, it is junk food that entertains but has no substance, it keeps us from the real food, the manna that nourishes us daily, that we need to have daily.... nothing within the world will serve us well, nothing; we are outside of the gate of the city, looked down on and scorned by humanity, but lifted up and redeemed by our Living God, to whom the only sacrifice left to make is one of praise... praise the Lord! praise the Lord! praise the Lord!!!!!!!!!!!!!
...tonight when i was babysitting, me and the 2 1/2 year old romped around the living room hollarin' at the top of our lungs, "Jesus!!!!! Jesus!!!!! Whooo!!!!!"... it was just AWESOME. and the baby was like jigglin' on his little butt, wanting to join in, but not really knowing what we're doing, but prolly just feelin' the joy... and the 11 year old was like, gee do you have to make so much noise? :P God is sooooo good. thank You Lord!
Thursday, May 04, 2006
i have not been reading my bible much, instead choosing to spend all my time on the computer learning web design and doing artwork and yakkin' on the hippie boards (but at least that ones all about Jesus!!!!!)...
anyways, i have been feeling rather horrid about all this... the last time i read the bible a few days ago i was reading in hebrews about all the ol' folks of faith who walked and talked with God and did great things. and when i compared that to me sitting on my butt in front of a computer screen, i felt rather BAD. how can i live up to that? i can't even get myself off the computer before 2 am, never mind do all that stuff....
...ah, the performance mentality rears it's ugly head....
well, last night at a church meeting i had a good chat with some people, and i came home feeling encouraged about things, about life in general... a lot encouraged. and i managed to get off the puter by 1:30 am! and i went to bed and fell asleep reading the bible. like i used to every night up until about a week ago...
...and what did i read? just picked up where i left off, in hebrews, which is where my pen was tucked. and up at the top left corner was hebrews 12:1.... 'therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author [originator] and finisher [perfecter] of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross...'
...and for once i didn't feel condemned by that passage. it's always been, all these great people are watching me, so i gotta run, i gotta live up to what 'the faith' demands, i gotta find the endurance some how to run, and staring ahead at Jesus, the great judge of how well i do....
but today, i remembered all those great men and women of God who did all those great things, and remembered that while they screwed up big time, they failed and screwed up, but they just walked in faith that God was going to get them where they were going, and just ran. they truly laid aside every weight (of the law, of expectation, of performance mentality) and ran, running free from burdens and expectations, walking in hope of the coming redeemer that would take their sins and burdens away....
and i realized that I am to run free, free in the fields of faith, with the clouds above in the blue sky, the clouds of all those who have gone before me in the freedom of faith, who are not judging, but watching and clapping and cheering me on, and at the end of the course is Jesus with His arms open, waiting with joy for me to finish the race, the race He enabled me to run without weight or burden by dying on the cross for me, that for the joy of having fellowship with me He endured shame and the hostility of man... and that endurance, His endurance, is what gives me the endurance to run the race, not my strength but His... and this faith in which i need to run is not something i muster up, but is totally a gift from Him, He plants it in me, He is the Author of it, the Originator of it, it comes not from me but from Him... and i do not have to try to live up to some heavy expectation becuase it is not i who has to work at it, HE is the Perfecter of my faith, HE will bring me to the finish line...
...'For consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls...'...
have i been weary and discouraged in my soul? yup, you bet, and now i am reminded that HE is the one who is the gas in my engine, HE is the wind in my sails, HE took my burdens and weight and sins upon Himself, so i need feel NO GUILT to cast those off like a bag of stones and run free.... it is for FREEDOM HE HAS SET ME FREE!!!!!!!!
as someone said yesterday, LIFE IS FOR LIVING. not dying under some burdon of condemnation, not stagnating in some set of self-imposed rules and expectations... life is given me by Jesus so that i may live and run free....
and i feel like whippin' off all my clothes like david did, and running in me undies through the fields of faith.
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
i like making web pages, i now have three (links on sidebar). it's good practice, cuz maybe one day i'll be able to make a bit of a livin' on line, but most especially because of the opportunity for ministry!!!! YAH!!!!!