Friday, June 30, 2006

Summer Travel Blog

well, this morning i spent a coupla hours setting up me and mickie's travel blog - i'm hoping that the three of us on this trip that know how to write (as we are over 3 years old! lol) will all update it on frequent occasions - we'll see!

Simply Dreadful!!!!

....full of dreads, that is~! voila!

keep in mind, tho, that these pics were taken practically first thing in the morning - no mirror in sight! i had not yet done my daily primping and preening! lol

what are dreads to me? they reflect a willingness for me to be the person God made me without fearing what man thinks. a willingness to see myself as beautiful for the first time in my life, because God sees me - and made me - beautiful. i willingness that my hair actually can be my glory, instead of pulling it out all the time. a willingness to do something daring without fear. a willingness to let the banana tea flow out of this teapot. a willingness to actually be me. and that's a wow thing!

Thursday, June 29, 2006

4 more sleeps

well, today was one LONG day!

from like 9:00 am to 5 pm i pasted a HUGE cheap-paper map - tons of wrinkles and useless paste, had to go get some REAL glue LOL - to a huge wooden panel/support thingy, ran back into town to see a doctor, and back out to paste some more.... phew~! big job, and i'm glad my part is done! ... then tonight i had cell and it was AWESOME (as usual! lol) - a few of us stayed after and yakked and yakked and yakked - it was AWESOME!!!!!! GOD IS SO GOOD!!!!!! WHOOT WHOOT!!!!!!

tonight i'm going to sleep soon. i washed my hands with some scented soap and i have a bit of a rash now, even tho i rinsed it off as good as possible right away. :( c'est la vie!!!!! is it gonna wreck my mood? steal my joy? NO!!!!!!! lol. i yam an overcomer!!!!!! whoot!!!!!

ok, going to bed like NOW. well ok... after i brush my teeth, etc! God bless y'all!!!!!

ps. got my driver's license today in the mail, and i LOVE my picture. how often do you get an id that actually looks like you - and like a good-lookin' you, to boot? lol!!!!! God is gooooood!!!!!!! whoot!

the first pic they took i looked positively evil... thank the Lord they scrapped it and took a new one!!!! lol GOD IS GOOD!!!!!!!

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Only 5 Sleeps to Go!

when mickie called me this morning and said, yup, we're leaving on the 3rd, on monday! it hit me how soon that is~! i have only 5 more sleeps in my own bed, 5 sleeps to pack, 5 sleeps to get everything in order..... 5 sleeps and then we're off!!!!!

for so long it felt like it was a long ways off, but boom, here it is, 5 more sleeps.

i hope i can sleep tonight! lol

so what have i done to get ready?

i found some awesome deals (thank You Jesus!) on hot-weather clothes (which i don't have much of), flip-flops, earrings (gotta have my hoops!), sunglasses and hairclips.... i also bought a couple game books (sudoku and the like) for the road, some needed toiletries, and some photo corners so i can use my sketchbook as a scrapbook/journal thingy for memories. ..... boy it sounds like i got a lot, but it's not really that much. i had hoped to get a palm pilot thingy, but realized i'm far too broke for that! lol. i'm so glad i got all my camping gear last year and have it all already! :D

what i won't have is much spending money for the trip. after this stuff, and bills, i don't got much left. but y'know, that's ok. i'm used to not having any spending money! lol. it's normal for me. i rarely go out and get nibbles or see movies or buy magazines. i've more than splurged for this month by getting puzzle books and new earrings - i haven't gotten any of those in months!

and what i'm most amazed at is how much i got for so little - God has really provided here. i mean, a 100% cotton beaded blouse from reitmans on sale for a measely $15?! a t-sweater, regularly $50, on sale for $10?! and it came with a free tank-top?! size 11 flip-flops, that fit (that only happens once is a blue moon) for only $7?! sunglasses - that actually fit my wide head and don't give me a headache AND are funky - for only $7?! (my current, scratched up pair are almost 15 years old!)......... and what does it all amount to? being blessed beyond belief! thanks, God. You truly are the provider! :D

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Me in 20 Years.... i Hope!

Daily Dancer: Let's give this thing one more day - you gotta watch this. hopefully i'll be as beautiful and agile in 20 years~!

this website is so kewl. the guy who does this does a dance everyday (usually), and often dances with his motherinlaw!!!!! so sweet. i hope my future hubby has such a fun, goofy streak in him - to match mine! lol

Just Like Heaven - The Cure

another favorite for ya....

these guys are probably the biggest influence on my songwriting style.

Love Song by The Cure

this is dedicated to the One i love....

"whenever i'm alone with You
You make me feel like i am home again
whenever i'm alone with You
You make me feel like i am whole again...

...however far away
i will always love You
whatever words i say
i will always love You
whatever games i play
i will always love You
i will always love You..."

the cure was my fave band when i was a teenager. they are still the epitome of good music to me!

Hurt - Johnny Cash

i absolutely love his cover of this song.

"what have i become
my sweetest Friend
everyone i know
goes away in the end
and You could have it all
my empire of dirt
i will let You down
i will make You hurt..."

Blisters and Chemicals

see my owies?

well, i have to say, i've learned a good lesson. don't go out in the sun uncovered for too long. don't underestimate the power of the sun, lol. don't take the mind-numbing effects of dehydration for granted. and carry a danged parasol!

i'm still determined to hate sunscreen. i do have a sensitive skin sunblock... but it's still chemicals, y'know? i think we all to often underestimate the amount of chemicals our body has to deal with.

mom pointed out that 'they' (whoever 'they' are) have finally acknowledged the carcinogenic qualities of aspartame..... how long have we been ingesting that? 2o years? 30 years? all the while thinking it safe?

i have a theory (hush - it's a conspiracy! lol) that sunscreens are partly to blame for the high levels of skin cancer we are seeing these days. but y'know, it's just a theory.... (shhhh.....)

Monday, June 26, 2006

52 Things about me.

52 Things.

1. FIRST NAME? 'Clover', hehe.

2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? yup. my grandmothers, and a childhood friend of my mom

3. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? oh gee. last week i think....

4. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? no. my writing deteriorates quickly, and my hands cramp.

5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCHMEAT? crab (pollock - ie the fake stuff)

6. KIDS? none yet..... *sighs wistfully*....

7. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? how can i answer that? if i were a person someone similar to myself, i think i would... but gee, there are so many different kinds in the would i know? lol

8. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? yup. yor lookin' at it.

9. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? what's sarcasm, exactly? i think i do, somewhat....

10. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? yup, all 10 of them. and my adenoids, too.

11. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? if i were under 150 lbs, i think i would. as i am now, i'd worry i'd dislocate every joint in my body! lol

12. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? right now, nature's path oatmeal multigrain flakes... because it's all made from flour, no whole grains (which i can no longer digest, bah humbug).

13. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? i don't wear shoes that tie, usually. but if i did, and if they would come off easily still tied, i probably wouldn't bother untying them.


15. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? ummmm i'm not a huge fan of ice cream - too yummy and addicting.... i can go for dairy queen soft serve, in strawberry sundae format.

16. SHOE SIZE? 10 wide.

17. RED OR PINK? definately PINK!!!!!! i'm such a girlie girl.

18. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? my inability to un-focus when i'm focussed on something, so i can focus on something else. bah humbug!

19. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? hmmm, right now, libby.

20. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? redundant question as this is not an email.

21. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES YOU ARE WEARING? the emporers new pants and shoes - ie, none. i'm wearing a sun dress. lol

22. LAST THING YOU ATE? fake crab on rye with mayo.

23. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? the spinning of my hard drive as norton is scanning for non-existant viruses lol.


25. FAVORITE SMELL? fresh, clean air, with no smell of civilization whatsoever.


27. FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? their personality, ie do they smile easily or not.

28. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? i stoled it from sweetpea.

29. FAVORITE DRINK? orange juice with cream

30. FAVORITE SPORT? badminton!!!! woo hoo!!!!

31. HAIR COLOR? light brown / bleach blond / faded pink. quite a color combo right now! lol

32. EYE COLOR? blue-grey. in some light they look olive.


34. FAVORITE FOOD? it varies..... right now, good, fresh, juicy, crisp, sweet watermelon. yum.

35. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDING? happy endings, i guess - i don't care for scary movies. but i'd rather have a mysterious thought-provoking ending than a cliche fairy tale happy ending.

36. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? the adventures of huckleberry finn. classic old ancient movie.....

37. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? not. i'm wearing a sun dress, i told you that already!!!! lol. it's green/floral.

38. SUMMER OR WINTER? winter, all the way. summer is toooo darn hot. and i live in the north!!!! lol

39. HUGS OR KISSES? huggly wugglys all the way.

40. FAVORITE DESSERT? baked cheesecake.

41. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? this is not an email, gee whiz!

42. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? hello, i said, this is not an email! aren't you listening?!!! (wait... i'm typing....aren't you reading?!!!! lol)

43. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING? bible. trying to read the irrisistable revolution by shane claiborne, but the book smells really bad of inks. a book on apostolic leadership by dudley daniel. and my utmost for his highest, oswald chambers, as always.

44. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? a racoon and a ball.


46. FAVORITE SOUNDS? birds. worship at my church. the sound of gracie yakkin', and jojo trying to!

47. ROLLING STONE OR BEATLES? beatles i guess.


49. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? singing in a gazillion different voices! lol... and annoying the heck out of everybody around me. :D




Links to other 52 things lists: SweetPea.

The Cry 2 Him - Ottawa

The Cry 2 Him, in Ottawa, July 15, 2006 - me n mickie have decided we're going to try to go to this. wow.

Burn, Baby, Burn

so i went to a ladies retreat this weekend - it was awesome! - but by sunday i was dehydrated and uber hot stuff and didn't realize how badly i was burning. so today i am burned. not quite red as a lobster, but very dark pink. praying it doesn't blister, praying it doesn't even peel! miracles do happen, y'know?

thing is, when i'm not feeling good my problem solving skills go downhill. using someone else's sunscreen was not going to happen, as almost all are so scented, i figured a bit of a burn was better than an asthma attack. when i finally thought about covering my shoulders, i found mickie had packed up all my stuff for me, so i figured how much more can it burn between now and when we go home? lots, i discovered! lol. so i'm sore and tired today, and definately taking it easy.

also the first pic of my dreads. i love my hair like this.

Monday, June 19, 2006

Desperate Dining in Desperate Times...

The Donner Party - this is a website that reads like a novel - but it's all true. fascinating readin'! if you have any yen for things historical and/or unusual, check it out!

Nails in the Fence

i don't generally pass around email stories too much, but this one really blessed me.


There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.

Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.

The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, "You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound is still there."

A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one. Friends are very rare jewels, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share words of praise and they always want to open their hearts to us.....

.....You are my friend and I am honored......

Please forgive me if I have ever left a hole!

particularly the last line.... Lord, may i not leave holes in my friend's hearts from the careless words i may speak.

the Invalidation of Pain...*whack*

[click pic to enlarge]

an ol' public domain cartoon [more here] from march 30, 1906. yup, 100 years old, and as true as ever.

how many of us can relate to ol' everett true? i have been told, various times in life, things like:

"you're not tired, don't give in to it, tell yourself you'll have energy and you will!"
"oh, it can't hurt that much. if you keep telling yourself it hurts it will!"
"oh, that smell is pretty mild, it doesn't bother me, why should it bother you?"
"buck up girl, tell yourself to be happy, and you will." nauseum.

invalidation at it's best.

if someone hurts, don't tell them they don't. that is truly insulting, patronizing, and hurtful! don't minimize how they feel, it's valid, even if you do not understand it. if it's an emotional thing, yes, it may well be based on the belief of a lie "i'm a burden to others" for example, but the struggle with feeling like a burden is a real experience for them. to say, in effect, "oh puhleez, you should know better than that!" just drives a wedge between people and minimizes any possibility of genuine ministry. and if it's a physical thing, no one can know how another experiences pain, what does not hurt one person can be excruciating to another. it's legitimate, it's real. God ordains suffering sometimes, y'know? think of good ol' job. his friends did not help him bear his burden, they added to it! let us not be like that to others.

and when someone says something invalidating to us, let us not respond as ol' everett true did! *whack*

Sunday, June 18, 2006


Placentophagy - all i can say is wow. i don't think i could even bring myself to *want* to try this... i have heard of it before, which is why when i came across this i immediately read the whole thing.... it would be interesting to learn more about this... i love all things unusual, y'know? but raw? gee whiz... i think it needs some salt. :D


Friday, June 16, 2006

Sarah, Laughter, and Pregnancy....

is most interesting.... lately i've been feeling like i got me an alprego belly... tis not possible (you kin trus' me on that one!!!! lol), but to me it feels like i must look pregnant!!!! lol. maybe it's cuz i'm losing weight, or retaining water, i don't know....

anyways, i've cracked a few times that i'm pregnant, all right - pregnant with promise! with possibilities! with purpose!!!! etc etc.

today i wrote a bit about sarah... in that at that age to have a baby, wow what an honor!.... how can one critizise someone for having a baby when they are older? it's God who decides those things.... promises, possibilites, purposes,etc!

and now, as i'm about to head off to bed, i read this morning's spurgeon devo. wow.
C.H. Spurgeon's Morning Devotional - June 15

"And Sarah said, God hath made me to laugh, so that all that hear will laugh with me."-Genesis 21:6

It was far above the power of nature, and even contrary to its laws, that the aged Sarah should be honoured with a son; and even so it is beyond all ordinary rules that I, a poor, helpless, undone sinner, should find grace to bear about in my soul the indwelling Spirit of the Lord Jesus. I, who once despaired, as well I might, for my nature was as dry, and withered, and barren, and accursed as a howling wilderness, even I have been made to bring forth fruit unto holiness. Well may my mouth be filled with joyous laughter, because of the singular, surprising grace which I have received of the Lord, for I have found Jesus, the promised seed, and He is mine for ever. This day will I lift up psalms of triumph unto the Lord who has remembered my low estate, for "my heart rejoiceth in the Lord; mine horn is exalted in the Lord; my mouth is enlarged over mine enemies, because I rejoice in Thy salvation."

I would have all those that hear of my great deliverance from hell, and my most blessed visitation from on high, laugh for joy with me. I would surprise my family with my abundant peace; I would delight my friends with my ever-increasing happiness; I would edify the Church with my grateful confessions; and even impress the world with the cheerfulness of my daily conversation. Bunyan tells us that Mercy laughed in her sleep, and no wonder when she dreamed of Jesus; my joy shall not stop short of hers while my Beloved is the theme of my daily thoughts. The Lord Jesus is a deep sea of joy: my soul shall dive therein, shall be swallowed up in the delights of His society. Sarah looked on her Isaac, and laughed with excess of rapture, and all her friends laughed with her; and thou, my soul, look on thy Jesus, and bid heaven and earth unite in thyjoy unspeakable.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Second Day of Clouds...

yesterday, the first day of clouds, was another awesome day. spent much of the day with a good friend, singing and playing and encouraging and laughing... that's what it's all about, eh? then later spent some time with a dear friend... didn't go for a walk as i felt tired... thought maybe the barometric shift that had to come with the sudden, dramatic weather change might have something to do with it.

today is a whole 'nother story. i'm sooo tired, feelin' the pressure of my upcoming road test in a week (and i have NOT been practicing enough, particularly in the vehicle i'll be driving across canada this summer!), feelin' like i want to go to bed and sleep - just feel ILL.... but i have to go to the doctor this afternoon to see about meds, and about how to arrange 8 weeks of blister packs (oh yeah, the pharmacy's gonna love me! lol)....

so, i'm in the requisite storm following the calm-before-the-storm. oh, not that its turmultic or insane or anything, i just feel.... tired. cranky. like i want to shut the door on the rain that's come upon my parade.

so what does that mean? i means i need to get out of the house!!!!! it means i need to put some fresh batteries in my cd-player, find my car kit, crank the vorship tunes, and go for a drive!!!! in my weakness He is strong. GO, as tho i have the strength. He will give me the rest i need, even while i'm a-goin', cuz it's all Him.

i need to not think too much NOW about my road test, and put that off for later today, becuase if i burden myself while i'm a-feelin' like this, i'll bust. what's important right now is that i DON'T hit the hay... don't stay in, but get me butt out of doors..... i'll feel better later today, once i'm out and about.

my clock is skewed today: it feels like 2 or 3 in the afternoon, but it's only 11 am.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

i Think in Music

this is not your ordinary fun quiz... it's a real look at how we think.

You are a Musical Thinker.

Musical thinkers:

* Tend to think in sounds, and may also think in rhythms and melodies.
* Are sensitive to the sounds and rhythms of words as well as their meanings.
* Feel a strong connection between music and emotions.

Like many musical thinkers, Leonardo loved to sing, and had a fine voice.

Other Musical Thinkers include Mozart, John Lennon, Jimi Hendrix.

Careers which suit Musical Thinkers include Musician, Music teacher, Sound engineer, Recording technician.

What are you?

it's funny... i do hear music, rhythms, melodies, sounds etc in my head. as i was doing this quiz i was clenching my teeth, side to side, to the rhythm of my latest song. music in my head all the time. maybe that's why i don't LISTEN 24/7 like i used to - it interferes with the music in my head! lol.

a Poet an' i Knoe it

ok, yah, yet another one. in an odd way it's encouraging, lol.

You Should Be A Poet

You craft words well, in creative and unexpected ways.

And you have a great talent for evoking beautiful imagery...

Or describing the most intense heartbreak ever.

You're already naturally a poet, even if you've never written a poem.

well, finally! a quiz that recognizes my true giftings. (puff puff puff)... better than the answer i got for one of these before - a science fiction writer!!!!! lol

Is Maith Liom Bananai

Take the quiz:
Which Random Irish Gaelic Phrase Are You?

Is maith liom bananai
Is maith liom bananai - 'I like bananas.'You're laid-back and you enjoy the simple things in life. Some might say you're a little too laid-back. Just what is it you're smoking, anyway?

Quizzes by -- the World's Biggest Yearbook!

this is so hilarious. last year i was told that God made me a bit bananas for His purposes, i have a banana anointing. i'm still in search of a banana keychain to commemorate that confirmation of my wacky personality. and now this. i must be going bananas!!!!! lol

Baaa, Baaa, Happy Sheep

You Are A: Lamb!

lambPeaceful and gentle, lambs have been used in religious imagery for millennia. Lambs are baby sheep, an animal tended by shephards since the dawn of history. As a lamb, you tend to stay together in a flock and graze on grassy land. Lambs don't mind being led and tend not to go off on their own.

You were almost a: Groundhog or a Bear Cub
You are least like a: Chipmunk or a SquirrelWhat Cute Animal Are You?

this makes me happy. i love being God's little sheepie. happy sheepie. yah! :D

Wordless....Basking in the Afterglow....

lately, i've been feeling strangely wordless. the last three days were pretty much among the best three days of my life thus far.... and yet, words aren't coming.

i've been content to sit down at the computer, check my emails, then get up again.

course, it helps that i've been busy busy busy! but it feels like the experiences of the last few days are going to fade, and i will not have writ them down in e-stone.

i'll do a quick re-cap, just in case i never get around to writing in more detail.

sunday, i did two new things at church - i sang one of the songs God has given me, for the first time in front of the whole church; and i played keyboard during worship. my pastor said three whole times! (that's signifigant!) that i did reallly good, excellent. blow me away. .... then in the afternoon, i spent time at the lake with peeps from church - my extended, beloved family - and it was awesome. i even deigned to wade in up to my calves in tepid lake water - perfect breeding ground for sewage-bacteria-whatever-it's-called, and the occasional leech. even sitting in the sun, i got me a tan.... then in the evening, friends drove me home, but mom was not home, i didn't have my key, so i went to their house until i found mom and she came and picked me up. but i dilly-dallied, y'know? i was sitting in the yard with miz gracie, and we played in the play-pool.... she peed her pants but good, so i plunked her in the water to clean her up a bit... hey she was already wet! and what did her mom say when she came out to find her dear daughter was in the pool? 'phhht, that's fine'. laid back to the nth degree... i LOVE it!!!!!!

monday was a more normal day. i went for a walk with a friend (got some more sun, i'm getting brown for the first time in my life!), visited with her for a long while..... went to bed early and discovered a trick to get my 100-mile-per-minute brain to slow down: set my metronome to 40bmp, muffle it by putting an empty tissue box over it, then a pillow, and man, my brain get's nicely in sync with the slow beat. thank Ya, Jesus!!!!! for how normal a day it was, really i felt like it rivalled the day before in awesomeness.. i don't know why, but it did.

yesterday (tuesday), i spent the day babysitting my spiritual neice and nephews, the aforementioned gracie and kin, from 8 am to 6 pm. it was AWESOME!!!!!!! during the day we walked to the park and back, got some MORE sun! lol ....then i went home, hosed my sweaty self off, then walked to cell with a dear friend (who doesn't go to cell very often but she did last night! whoo!), embarrased myself, heard a 11 year old play his just-written worship song, loved on some people, cleaned up a lemonade flood, and walked home again. the sun was getting low in the sky, clouds were building up (after days of hot sun, hallelujah for clouds) and the sky was giving off this most golden light. the caterpillars that are around this year have white spots running down their backs, and in this light they looked flourescent. everything just glowed in this weird, awesome amber light.... it was like a wonderful afterglow to three awesome days. i said to pam, "are you pregnant? cuz you are positively glowing!" lol. shortly after going in the house, it went away. it was almost like God glowed on us, just for us. just for me. afterglow. i love it.

Insert Foot in Mouth....

last night at cell i said the most hilarious and embarrasing thing....

i shared about how, being raised nominally catholic, when i returned to Jesus i wanted to become a nun. and not just any nun, but a cloistered ascetic nun. but when it came to actually joining an order, i said, "i discovered that if you were not a virgin, well," shrug, "you're totally screwed!"

as the word 'screwed' was halfway out of my mouth, i realized the extremely bad - and entirely unintentional - pun. the instant it was all the way out of my mouth, EVERYONE picked up on it and just howled.

how good it is to be able to laugh at one's self!!!!! cuz i'm sure i'll never hear the end of it! lol

Sunday, June 11, 2006

my Little Musical Miracle

today i did two things i've never really done before: i sang one of my God-songs in church, and i played the keyboard during worship. that's a miracle in itself! lol but that's not the miracle i'm talking about.

the miracle was that during practice and worship, when i was playing they keyboard, *i* knew where i balled up, all to often, tho of course most people wouldn't notice..... and sometimes i lifted off the keyboard and didn't play while i was getting my bearings... yet i could HEAR the keyboard, the chords, the sounds etc *even when there was not anything possibly coming from the keyboard*. it sounded like i came through the speakers. i kept feeling like i should look around and see who else was playing keyboard!!!!! lol. it was eeried alright, but beautiful and reassuring. it's like God was playing the chords He wanted me to play right in my head. WOW. it was way kewl. :D

so, the little memories i'm going to treasure today: someone said i'm so brave (i'm not! lol); someone saying i sounded like a coffeehouse punk rocker; someone saying i sounded like a cross between joni mitchell and tracy chapman (woo!); someone saying it sounded powerful; my pastor telling me like THREE WHOLE TIMES that it sounded great (that's signifigant to me!); and tons and tons of general compliments. it's so encouragine to hear those things, thank you all... and yet it's difficult, becuase i feel so embarrased about having anything directed towards me, y'know? cuz it's totally all God. it's not about me, it's all about Him. i didn't write the song, He gave it to me. i came to the keyboard feeling weak and feeble, and He was there, strong. i give Him all the glory!!!!!!

and special kudos to devin - the challenge of just getting up there and sharing something so intensely... personal... was much eased knowing that i wouldn't have to struggle with my stumbling guitar, i was able to flow, and you picked up the sound, the rhythm, so well. thanks muchly, bro.

Saturday, June 10, 2006

NABJ Highway

i plunked in my various usernames/names, and nothing seemed .... right, not to bother keeping. but this one, i thought, is neat, it's ironic how much of the place-names fit one's journey to and concept of the kingdom of God!!!! lol

No Agenda but Jesus Highway
Mt. Happiness6
Confusion Lane35
Bog of Eternal Marriage132
Lake Love387
Please Drive Carefully

Where are you on the highway of life?


Poor Little Puppies....

CBC British Columbia - Dozens of dogs seized from B.C. farm - note the link to the right to watch a video. makes me feel very sad, that people would so undervalue God's give of animals, part of His amazing creation. :'(

Friday, June 09, 2006

Just Water? or Living Water?

Pyromaniacs: a cup of water - great post.

this kind of thing has been on my mind lately. how much truth are we bringing to the lost? the the dowtrodden? to our brothers and sisters? are we bringing a 'feel good' gospel to people, or the real thing? are we bringing something that's going to take the sting away for a little while, but does not cure the real problem? anethessia takes care of the pain, but doesn't fix the abcess....

i see some people who are so wound up about following the latest rush of water, but is it the real thing? do they have a handle on where God wants them? on who He is? on how to determine what is really Him asking you to do something, and not a man-made convention?

i'm no scholar. but i sure hope that i have a decent handle on the Word. and resting on God, knowing Him, and not feeling like i have to strive or run or do....

sorry if this post does not flow worth beans.... i'm really having problems finding words right now. it took me like two minutes to come up with the right world for that ouch-pain gum-numbing-stuff... anasthetic! and to top it off i don't know how to spell it! lol.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

On the Domination of Children....

No Greater Joy: The Will To Dominate
When the rod fails
Dear Mother, as we said, you cannot depend on spanking Sue into compliance. Do not fail to spank, but don’t expect it to work until you have made some other adjustments. And when you do spank, make sure that it is forceful enough to get her undivided attention. If she can scream "huggie" while you are spanking her, you are probably not spanking hard enough.

oh! i see! if the child can still scream, spank harder? spank until they are unable to scream? i can see where advise like this, given to mothers who are at wits end, can end tragically.

immediately following....
Do not allow 15 seconds to lapse between the offense and the spanking. And do not allow more than 10 feet between the place of the offense and the place of spanking. The association is essential. Don’t hug her in reference to the spanking. That is an apology, and it is a diversion from the issues. Again, spanking will not be the deciding factor, but it will help keep the pressure on.

spank immediately, when you are likely most angry?
spank right there, in public, in front of everybody else?
no hugs or apologies for having used violence (if the advice above to spank harder was followed!)?

i keep reading, hoping to find some redeeming thing about the pearl's.... but i have found none.

You can get an intercom and mount it high on the wall so you can hear everything that goes on in her room. Don’t let her know that her room is bugged. If you can’t get the intercom, you may have to sleep outside her room. If she gets out of bed, go in there, and without saying a word, give her one or two licks—whatever it takes to get her back in bed. If she rushes to obey when she hears you coming, give her five licks anyway.

Do not drag her to the bed. It is important that she exercise her own will to obey. If she throws a screaming fit, give her several moderate licks every few minutes and wait beside her until she is so tired she obeys. Do this all night long, every night, until she readily complies.

If she puts her shoes on backwards, do not threaten or complain, just commence giving her licks right on her feet or ankles until she gets her shoes on the right feet. If she takes her shoes off in the yard, do not warn her, just go out in the yard and spank her feet until she finds her shoes and puts them back on.

See, I'm Happy....Broken Legs and All

No Greater Joy: See I'm Happy - simply unbelievable. this tells the story of how a little girl, two years old, whines, and is taken out of the room and spanked, and told to "be happy and stop whining"....

A few minutes after returning to the room she again sought to establish her supremacy over her mother by whining and complaining. She wanted the attention being given to the visiting adults. Again she was spanked and told to be happy. When the mother returned her to their company, Caroline sat quietly for a few minutes and then, in the German Dutch language of the Amish, announced to all, “See, Mother, I am happy now.” And she verified it with a big, sincere smile.

see, mommy, i've learned that you care more about 'company' than me.
see, mommy, i've learned that i have to pretend everything's ok so i don't get hit.
see, mommy, i've learned that it's not safe to express emotions.
see, mommy, i've learned how to put on a 'happy face' mask and hide my real feelings.
see, mommy, i've learned how to conform.
see, mommy, i've learned that if i come to you sad, mad, or not feeling well... you will spank me.
see, mommy, i've learned how to put on a big smile that convinces everyone it's real.
see, mommy, i've learned to suppress 'me' into a bottle, because 'i' am not good enough.
see, mommy, i'm happy now.

yeah, right.

i think 99% of the time, when a kid is crying or acting up, there some kind of need. it may be, 'johnny's hurting me', it may hunger, tummy ache, anxiety, angry and needing help to calm down.... emotional needs. not meeting developemental/emotional/mental needs is....? emotional neglect.

can anyone say "abuse"?

see,mommy, i'm happy now...

i'm smiling on the outside, but on the inside i'm lonely, confused, hurt, broken, and simply devastated.

God doesn't beat us with a big stick and break our will and demand we conform to a cookie cutter pattern.... God gives each of us personalities, weaknesses, and He grows us up gently. He makes each of us unique. expressing who God made us to be is worship, and glorifying Him. when we err, He gently leads us back. a shepherd doesn't beat his sheep, he beats away the wolves who come to 'eat' the sheep. a Good Shepherd does not turn that rod onto His sheep. why do we thing He wants us to treat the weakest, most vulnerable, most fragile people among us in any other way that gentleness?

oh, but what about stories about shepherds breaking their sheep's legs? read this quote for a comment by shepherds. this forum thread casts doubt on the accuracy of that practice, and i actually just spend the last couple hours trying to do two things: find actual documentation/proof that breaking the legs of a wayward sheep was a methodology used by shepherds (i found none).... and actually found that if you do a web search using the keywords shepherd break leg sheep -pastor -Lord -prophecy -spanking -Jesus -God (- indicates that google is not to load one's that include that word - ie. trying to get non-religious SHEPHERDING data) there is not one reference for pages and pages of results that even mention deliberately breaking sheeps legs. try it for yourself.
[google it]

Seven of Seven - a meme

A. Stark Place: I've Been Tagged: Seven of Seven - read this and had to laugh... and had to try it myself. slightly modified. of course. :D

7 things whut i (clover) like:
1. cool days, i'm dyin' in this heat...26 degrees (Celcius), and it's dinnertime....
2. catz, they're too cute, but i don't got one (in case of asthma, break glass)
3. constructive critisizm... so long as it's kind...
4. church. of course.
5. cuddly kiddoes. yum.
6. comfortable clothes, especially long, light, cotton/linen/rayon skirts.
7. computer - mine!

7 things whut i don't get:
1. rude people - i mean, why?????
2. tailgaters.... why?
3. hornets nests and caterpillar infestations
4. legalism.... i mean, i get it... but i don't....
5. the incessant need to capitalize.
6. arminianism.... eh?
7. why summer in the north has to be so hot!!!!!

7 ways whut i address my FRIENDZ:
1. hun/hunnybuns/hunnybunchesO'oats
2. girl/girlie
3. chickie/chickieboom/cheeky chickie/hippie chickie
4. if someone's name ends in -im, add berly to it: example, Timberly (but only in my head, when it's a guy, LOL!)
5. make up funny names for them, for example, mickiroonie alprego (ven mickie was preggie! LOL! (whack!) ouch, whaddya do that for? :P)
6. brudda/sista
7. stinker (guess when, haha)

7 things whut i like more than i should:
1. tim hortons iced caps. especially when it's hot.
2. dairy queen's strawberry sundaes. especially when it's hot.
3. blackheads. mom always said i should be an esthetician.... or a person who does electrolysis.... what can i say, i'm detail oriented! LOL
4. barefeet. sandals. even in the snow! LOL you can tell i'm a canadian....
5. rain - give us some, Lord! i'm dyin' in this heat!!!!!
6. sleep
7. driving - if i drove as often as i would love to, i'd not be very "green", that's for sure!!!!! LOL

7 things whut can be said in funny ways:
1. i'm tired - "ahm tarred"... response to which is, 'and feathered?'
2. anything, by adding nonsense suffixes: 'pickledelioshious'
3. anything, by doing 'biblio-speak': 'whateth are ye askething me, thou? to gettest thou thine ice cream from thine yonder refrigerator?'
4. anything, but singing it opera style....
5. anything, by hugely overexaggerationg your gesticulating LOL
6. anything, by doing fake accents, or speaking like a robot, or with a lisp, etc.
7. anything, by using it out of it's ordinary context: "my van is ticking when going up hills"... "you know what that means, right? it's got tourette's syndrome!" LOL (no offense meant to ticcers or lithspers or fine feathered folk....)

7 projects whut i started and didn't finish:
1. a few skirts, and other sewing jobs.... and crocheting... and knitting.... LOL
2. a whole whack of paintings!!!
3. building a lending library for me christian frendz...
4. cleaning my house. but have i even started?, that is the question! LOL
5. decorating my bedroom in pinks and browns (with light teal/aqua accents) well, i got the browns..."cardboard box" brown to be precise! LOL
6. getting my bicycle fixed (going on what, three years now? LOL)
7. reading the entire bible. that's just sighable.

7 books whut i want to read:
1. the entire bible. did i mention that recently? LOL
2. fakes or followers by Loys De Fleuriot
3. irresistable revolution by shane claiborne (i have it but i'm allergic to the ink, lol)
4. The Evil of Evils: The Exceeding Sinfulness of Sin, by Jeremiah Burroughs (capitals courtesy of 'cut n paste' LOL)(have it, but [insert excuse here])
5. freedom of the will, by jonathan edwards (have it, but...)
6. a wrinkle in time, madelaine l'engle (have it, but...)
7. the chronicles of narnia, c.s.lewis. (have it, but....)

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Laying Down Our 'Free Will'

I, for my part, do yield, that God hath given to mankinde a Free-will, but here is the question; Whether the same Freedom bee in our power and strength, or no?. . . for it is onely God that worketh in us, and wee must suffer and subject our selvs to his pleasure. Even as a Potter out of his claie maketh a pot or vessel either for use of honor, or otherwise of dishonor. Just so is it with our Free-will, onely to suffer, and not to work, passive, non active, which standeth not in our strength; for wee are not able to do any thing that is good in divine causes.

~Martin Luther, Table Talks, (translated 1652).

"You say: Who will endeavor to reform his life? I answer: Nobody! No man can! God has no time for your self-reformers, for they are all hypocrites. The elect who fear God will be reformed by the Holy Spirit. The rest will perish unreformed."

"Thus the human will is like a beast of burden. If God rides it, it wills and goes whence God wills; as the Psalm says, "I was as a beast of burden before thee" [Psalm 72:22]. If Satan rides, it wills and goes where Satan wills. Nor may it choose to which rider it will run, nor which it will seek. But the riders themselves contend who shall have and hold it."

"However, with regard to God, and in all things pertaining to salvation or damnation, man has no free will, but is a captive, servant, and bond slave, either to the will of God, or to the will of Satan."

"Christians, however, are not led by a free will, but are driven by the Spirit of God, as Romans 8:14 tells us. To be driven is not to act or do oneself. But we are so seized as a saw or an axe is handled by a carpenter ---."

"So I say that man, before he is regenerated into the new creation of the Spirit's kingdom does and endeavors nothing to prepare himself, and when he is regenerated he does and endeavors nothing toward his perseverance in that kingdom. The Spirit alone, without ourselves, works both blessings in us, regenerating us and preserving us when regenerated ---"

"But now that God has put my salvation out of the control of my own will and put it under the control of His, and has promised to save me, NOT ACCORDING TO MY OWN EFFORT OR RUNNING but --- according to HIS own grace and mercy, I rest fully assured that HE is faithful ---"

"I am certain that I please God, not by the merit of my works, but by the reason of His merciful favor promised to me. So that, if I work to little or badly, He does not impute it to me, but, like a father, pardons me and makes me better. This is the glorying which all the saints have in their GOD."

"--- As for myself, I frankly confess, that I should not want free will to be given to me, even if it could be, nor anything else be left in my own hands to enable me to strive after my salvation."

"Therefore we must go to extremes, deny free will all together and ascribe everything to God."

~Martin Luther, Discourse on Free Will

how many of us still believe these things? how many of us have fallen back into what God, through His servant martin luther, brought us out of during the reformation?

how many of us believe we saved ourselves? well, if we say WE chose Jesus to be Lord of our lives, we deny what the bible says about us in our unregenerate state - slaves to sin and satan, unable to see the truth.... ergo, to say WE chose Him, we are basically saying 'i brought myself out of my sin'. can a slave free himself? no - only his Master can free Him... and that Master has to own him to do so... and that Jesus did on the cross - He bought us back from our then-masters, sin and satan.

the Glory be to God alone!

Ephesians 2:4-10
4 But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, 5 even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), 6 and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, 7 that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. 8 For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, 9 not of works, lest anyone should boast. 10 For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them. [NKJV]

Baby Cry? Spoil the Rod?

"What happens when a child is left to cry unattended for 20 minutes is the child’s vitals are comparable to someone suffering a stroke. When a baby stops crying and "learns" to sleep they have actually entered a state known as "infant depression" and they have given up attempting to have their needs met. They have learned very early that their cries are ineffectual and have given up." ~ Crystal Lutton.[read more]

In fact, the well-known saying "spare the rod, spoil the child" is not the wording found in any of the "rod verses" in the Bible. Instead it is a line from the Samuel Butler satirical poem "Hudibras" that ridicules the Victorian lifestyle. The very line today used to condone and even endorse the modern practice of spanking was originally penned to criticize and ridicule that same practice. ~Crystal Lutton.[read more]

wow. this seems to be an amazing website!

Sunday, June 04, 2006

Where I'm From

in this blog i found out about this poem and a link to a this template to follow to do your own... so i did!

Where I'm From

I am from old red bicycles,
CCM, Free Spirit,
and loudly ringing handlebar bells.
I am from the circular black driveway,
endlessly smooth,
pavement whizzing, under my feet.
I am from the raspberry bushes,
the comfrey patch,
and the tree swing, where i spun myself sick.

I am from home-fed dinners of M*A*S*H,
Latka Gravas, and cussing;
from sweet Uranie, aunt Angeline,
and les grande famille de Dan Coins.
I am from the "Let's-don't-ever-talk-about-that",
and the firm, "Everything's-fine";
from the out-loud "Hush, be quiet!",
and the silent, "She's such a bother".

I am from wounding hypocrisy,
spoken in the name of Christ -
from closeted confessions with peculiar men
who call the young truth-teller a liar.


I am from Canada, Heinz 57,
and sturdy Franco-Lithuanian stock,
from potato lefse, smelly pig's feet,
and crunchy sweet garden-fresh peas.

I am from the music my great-grandfather sold,
the convent, dreams forever shattered,
from Germanic Mennonites Pennsylvania-bound,
church planters, 1674 (or about).

I am from homecomings in 12 foot snow drifts,
cold sprinklers captured frozen in the sun,
Lourde's old dusty rosaries,
and other musty family history,

(c)2006 CloverLyn.

i think i could do this again! i encourage anyone who likes to write (or not!) to try this out.... it brings back definate reminiscances (iffn' that's even a word!), and you can play with the musicality of the words, as there is no set rhythm. fun!

Saturday, June 03, 2006

Indescriminate Charity...?

One of the serious obstacles to the improvement of our race is indiscriminate charity.
~ Andrew Carnegie

i know nothing about andrew carnegie.... and frankly, this quote, while making me curious, also puts me off wanting to find out who he is.

charity.... love.... charity is the expression of love... how can we discriminate with showing love? we are not to discriminate between peoples. is it ok to give to the girl guides, becuase they 'work with children', they are an established institution... but not ok to give some change to a bum on the street, and risk being taken advantage of?

how much philanthropy is selfish? oh, i will give so much to such and such an institution, in exchange for a name plate above the door, so for all time i will be enshrined as a charitable person....

charity.... merciful love towards those who least deserve it.

to me, it's not charity if it doesn't cost me something...if it's not a risk.... if i give expecting some kind of benefit to myself, it's not a cost, it's payment... that's not charity. if i give only to some but not to others, that's discrimination, and not charity.

how difficult charity is.

Christian Women....and Blogging

SpunkyHomeSchool: Blogging about blogging - this is a really great post, it made me think. as i blog more and more, have i been speaking only wholesome and encouraging, giving grace? ....or do i rattle and prattle away?

my best friend always quotes to me proverbs 10:19 - "in a multitude of words there is sin."

my goal is the same as spunky's.... but i think i still have a lot to learn.

Millstones, and the Crushing of the Spirit....

i talked awhile back in this post about spanking vs. not spanking... more specifically, when to spank and when to not spank, and the difficulty in determining appropriateness.... not from the perspective of a spanker (not a parent, never spanked anyone in my life)... but from the perspective as an adult child who was not spanked, and my reflections back on it.... and i believe God is preparing me for the possibility of motherhood... cuz i think it will happen one day!

anyways, it's definately a controversial topic.

my attention has been brought to an article -here- about 'millstones'.... it tells a bit of the story about a woman who, after having said that if she were ever to spank, she would not be able to stop, was became convinced that she *had* to spank.... and sure enough, she couldn't stop, and killed her little boy.


the article then goes on to speak of assessing our personal self-control, reasoning etc, before we decide to spank/not spank. each of us has to determine in our own heart, before God, what our abilities are, what our weaknesses are, and act accordingly. that applies to everything, of course, not just spanking... but how often do we lose control of our anger and act out accordingly?

if i ever have kids, i don't want to risk that...

so what do i say? i don't know.... each of us will answer to God about what we do or don't do, so we'd best consider what is wise.... like i said before, i'm not completely anti-spanking... i just think it's use needs to be extremely judicious, careful, never to hurt, considering the childs heart response....

how does God correct us? does He set out to destroy our will? crush our spirit? manipulate us to do things his way? NO - He woos us to Him, loves us, and shows us His heart for things.... and we come to a place of repentance.

*whoa*... i can't write anymore on this right now... i am just feeling so overwhelmed at how God's ways are so far above our own.... His goodness and love.... and our sinful and wicked hearts.... God have mercy on us....

a Warrior in God's Army!

who are you in God's army? draw yerself here!

*second pic removed, cuz i didn't like it. ha!*

Meeting a Mass Murderer...

whoa. i would normally NEVER answer these kinds of questions, but given that i DID list a 'celebrity' who i'd like to have lunch with on my list of 50 things about me.... and today someone asked me who the heck he was... i will answer these. lesson learned? never say never! lol....
If you could spend 24 hours with a celebrity:

1. Who would s/he be?
2. Where would you expect him/her to bring you?
3. Where would you bring him/her to?
4. What would you like to do with him/her?
5. What’s the one thing you’d been always wanting to ask the celebrity?
6. If s/he didn’t treat you well, would s/he be your favorite celebrity?
7. What would you give to him/her as a gift before saying goodbye so s/he’d remember you?

[from Great Pretenders]

1. David Berkowitz. if you don't know who that is, he was the 'son of sam' mass murderer in new york back in the 70's.... and he found forgiveness. unfortunately, his homepage is offline for some reason - it had an awesome video of how he found Jesus. hopefully it will be back.

2. i wouldn't expect him to bring me anywhere - becuase he is in jail serving a 300-some year term.... i would have to be some kind of highly respected journalist or something to even get an interview... if that would happen, then it would be in jail, of course.

3. i wouldn't be able to take him anywhere, but i'll pretend: i would take him to church. i think he would be blessed by that!

4. i would love to sit down and talk about God, love, and forgiveness.

5. what would i ask him? ....i don't know.... everything, nothing..... how he is doing, how is his walk.

6. he's (in)famous, but not realllly a celebrity... but i have to say... meeting him would be pretty much to find out what kind of guy he has become... full of grace and forgiveness, like i have heard? or has his heart hardend again, after all these years in jail? and whatever he was like, it's not about 'favorite celebrity', it's about praying for him, y'know? finding encouragement that if he can find Jesus' forgiveness.... why would i, or you, doubt God's forgiveness?

7. a new bible. and hopefully, i'd leave him encouraged... and i'd leave with a mailing adress where i could write to him, i would hope.


i do hope his web page comes back online.... i don't know why it's not anymore, it was a very encouraging site..... unless there's something i don't know, which of course, could be true! :P

Friday, June 02, 2006

50 Things About (little ol' me....)

1. What curse word do you use the most? crap. and i hate that one, too! lol
2. Do you own an iPod? no, i would like an mp3 player. i don't really want an iPod cuz they are too trendy :P
3. Who on your MySpace “Top 8” do you talk to the most? i only just made a myspace... and i can't say that i'm impressed or anything....
4. What time is your alarm clock set for? um... 8:30ish? i think?.....
5. What colour is your room? the walls? off white... the interiors? cardboard box brown and storage container lime green! :)

6. Flip-flops or sneakers? sandals (no toe thingy)... cuz i don't understand how a person can wear sweaty smelly sneakers for 'comfort'? ick....
7. Would you rather take the picture or be in the picture? take the picture.... but practically, be in the picture, becuase i don't have too many pics of me except from my web cam!!!!
8. What's the last movie you watched? the Mission, robert deniro as a mercenary turned priest.... very good movie.
9. Do any of your friends have children? of course!???
10. Has anyone ever called you lazy? yes, and she was a real 'ahem'... stinker when she said it, too!

11. Do you ever take medication to help you fall asleep faster? indirectly - i have meds at night that konk me out... and if i don't take them i get hardly any sleep. i've always been a stay-awake-for-hours-can't-sleep kind of girl! :P
12. What CD is currently in your CD player? um, jason upton, jason upton, and last sunday's sermon! (3 disc)
13. Do you prefer regular or chocolate milk? Regular milk... but not just any regular, it's gotta be homogenized... or at LEAST 2%... none of that blue bodily fluid for me :P
4. Has anyone told you a secret this week? um.... i don't think so...?
15. Have you ever given someone a hickey? yeah.... but this is a disgusting question!!!!!! :P

16. Who was the last person to call you? mickie
17. Do you think people talk about you behind your back? I hope not <--good answer christy, i'm stealing it!
18. Did you watch cartoons as a child? yes... smurfs, etc. yup, in the 70's and 80's!
19. How many siblings do you have? 3 half sisters and a possible but as yet unconfirmed half brother....
20. Are you shy around the opposite sex? yup

21. What movie do you know every line to? the closest would be 'strictly ballroom'
22. Do you own any band t-shirts? um.... nope, not any more! used to have a ton of The Cure t'shirts, tho, back in high school!
23. What is your favourite salad dressing? honey mustard
24. Do you read for fun? not as much as i used to!
25. Do you cry a lot? not usually... but in the last week, yup!

26. Who was the last person to text message you? on msn messenger, mickie
27. Do you have a desktop computer or a laptop? desktop
28.Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos? yup, both
29. What is the weather like? rain with sun.... rainbow weather! :D
30. Would you ever date someone covered in tattoos? well, i won't date, i'm only interested in courtship... but if they had tats, and were serious about marriage? of course. but the would have to be an absolutely passionate-for-Jesus kind of person, y'know? ... and any ugly evil looking tats, well, they can get covered ;)

31. Is sex before marriage wrong? yes yes yes and yes... just say no... but if you already said yes, there is forgiveness!!!!! (and then say no!)
32. When was the last time you slept on the floor? my mattress is on the floor... does that count? otherwise, i can't remember...
33. How many hours of sleep do you need to function? 7 minimum, IF i have been having at least that regularly. tonight i will need 8-10... will i get it? i hope so, but some how i doubt it....
34. Are you in love or lust? i'm in love with my Jesus!
35. Are your days full and fast-paced? slow.... but almost overly full, at least for me! :P

36. Do you pay attention to calories on the back of packages? nope. but i do read the ingredients... and 95% of the time, reading the list of chemicals is enough to turn me off from eating it....
37. How old will you be turning on your next birthday? 33... but that's a whole 7 months away! lol
38. Are you picky about spelling and grammar? if you can't tell by now, you can't read worth beans! ;)
39. Have you ever been to Six Flags? nope... where is that, anyways? i get a mental picture of rollercoasters, but that's about it....
40. Do you get along better with the same or opposite sex? easier with same

41. Do you like cottage cheese? yup, 2% tho, none of that low-fat stuff :P
42. Do you sleep on your side, tummy, or back? left side, left side, left-right-left side....
43. Have you ever bid for something on eBay? yup, and 'won' them, too!
44. Do you enjoy giving hugs? yup, if the person is not reeking of cologne or perfume or hairspray or febreeze or fabric softener sheets, etc....
45. What is your favourite TV show? i don't have one right now. i havent watched tv in a few weeks, and this years 'this is wonderland' is just not the same....

47. Which celebrity, dead or alive, would you want to have lunch with? ....David Berkowitz but it would never happen :P
48. Last time you had butterflies in your stomach? last night at cell, when i played my guitar...
49. What one thing do you wish you had? a digital camera -with lots of memory sticks! - for my long trip coming up
50. Favourite lyrics? ones that God has spoken to my heart....

Thursday, June 01, 2006

i Felt This Earthquake!!!

USGS Earthquake Hazards Program » Magnitude 5.9 - PAPUA, INDONESIA - unbelieveable, but i felt this earthquake on monday night.

i reported that i had felt it to the canadian earthquake peoples, that's it. never any information came out as to what the trembling was, i found it on the closest seismic chart in alaska.... but it wasn't listed as an earthquake. weird, i must have imagined it, and the blip on the seismic graph must be a coincidence, i thought...

well, today a friend said she had felt it too!!!!! so i dug around, and i found what i was looking for on this list - the earthquake we felt was on may 30th in irian jaya, indonesia (aka papua, indonesia) at 3:28 UTC, travelled around the world, and at 4:15 UTC (about 45 minutes later), we felt it in british columbia, canada (9:15 PST, may 29th).


i am tooooooooo drained right now to write anymore about why this is SO AMAZING... but i'll give you a hint: God is shaking my life. i have never been so shaken as i have been in the last week... particulary yesterday and today.

i stand AMAZED.....

Outcast, Adopted.

THIS BLOG IS IN NEED OF AN OVERHAUL. there are posts from years back i would not be able to post in good conscience now. i plan to overhaul the blog, and either delete or add a disclaimer to those posts. but that is gonna take time....

The Radical Summons: "
Therefore let us go to Him outside the camp and bear the reproach He endured. For here we have no lasting city, but we seek the city that is to come." Hebrews 13:13.

"The Spirit never loosens where the Word binds; the Spirit never justifies where the Word condemns; the Spirit never approves where the Word disapproves; the Spirit never blesses where the Word curses." —Thomas Brooks

‎"God receives none but those who are forsaken, restores health to none but those who are sick, gives sight to none but the blind, and life to none but the dead. He does not give saintliness to any but sinners, nor wisdom to any but fools. In short: He has mercy on none but the wretched and gives grace to none but those who are in disgrace. Therefore no arrogant saint, or just or wise man can be material for God, neither can he do the work of God, but he remains confined within his own work and makes of himself a fictitious, ostensible, false, and deceitful saint, that is, a hypocrite." --Martin Luther (W.A. 1.183ff)

i will not let You go: "Jacob's sense of his total debility and utter defeat is now the secret of his power with his friendly Vanquisher. God can overthrow all the prowess of the self-reliant, but He cannot resist the earnest entreaty of the helpless." --Albert Barnes

i will not let You go: "Jacob's determination did not flow from his strength, it flowed from his weakness." --Charles Leiter