Thursday, August 31, 2006

i tag myself!!!!!

1. What bill do you hate paying the most: PNG, the never ending pit

2.What's the best place to eat a romantic dinner: how would i know?

3.Last time you puked from drinking? never!

4.When is the last time you got drunk and danced on a bar? the answer is still never

5.Name of your first grade teacher? mrs. mcintyre (or was it miss?)

6.What do you really want to be doing right now? i don't know.... i know what i don't want to be doing, tho, and that is closing endless norton windows!!!!

7.What did you want to be when you were growing up? a truck driver, a carnie, an artist.... etc.

8.How many colleges did you attend? zilch

9.Why did you wear the shirt that you have on right now? the fit

10. GAS PRICES! First thought? ~~~ shut up already! at least it's not $3 a litre!

11. If you could move anywhere and take someone with you... the cold lake. and i'd take my whole church with me and start a new community!

12. First thought when the alarm went off this morning? i don't know if it did go off.... but my first thought was 'gotta babysit in a half hour!!!!!'

13. Last thought before going to sleep last night? i'm cold, why can't i warm up, and why am i still awake at 3:30 am when i should be passed out from my meds?

14. Favorite style of underwear? bloomers

15. Favorite style of underwear for the opposite sex? oh my gosh, puhleez, as long as i don't see the family jewels, for heaven's sake!!!!!!!

16. What errand/chore do you despise? vacuuming and washing dishes

17. If you didn't have to work, would you volunteer at an art gallery? i've thought about it, but it's not my cup of tea.

18. Get up early or sleep in? earlyish, but the main necessity is that it's the same time everyday so i have some regularity... but it never happens

19. What is your favorite cartoon character: right now it's snoopy

20. Favorite NON sexual thing to do at night with a girl/guy? i'm presuming the opposite sex, lol.... i don't know, becuase i don't hang out with guys, and i haven't dated since i was 14, so i have no clue. i'm waiting for an audible voice where God tells me who i'm gonna marry, lol! then i'll find out!

21. A secret that you wouldn't mind everyone knowing? i love putting unsalted, unshelled sunflower seeds in soup, when i'm cooking it. yum.

24. Your favorite lunch meat? what is the fascination with this question? i think i've seen it on the last three quizzes i've done, for cryin' out loud!!!!! lol.... anyways, some kind of ham.

25. What do you get every time you go into Costco? i never been there

26. Beach or lake? ummmm, the beach at the lake? what the heck? lol .... what else do people call the sand at a lakeshore, 'that sandy place'?

27. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual that was invented by people who died at 20?no, duh!

28. Who do you stalk on MySpace? no one, becuase i really very strongly dislike myspace.... but it does have some kewl fun things to add into yer page....

29. Favorite guilty pleasure? um.... chocolate covered coffee beans?

30. Favorite movie you wouldn't want anyone to find out about? uh..... i really liked session 9...

31. What's your drink? caffeinated: ice cap with cream; sugary: cream soda with cream in it; alcoholic: peach schnapps, which i haven't had in years (pout) lol

32. Cowboys or Indians? oh gosh, keep those chaps away from me.... but then i really don't like dream catchers either, so on a paraphenalia basis, neither! lol

33. Cops or Robbers? do you need to ask? i mean gee, i'm a christian!!!! OH MY GOSH, i just got why ROBIN HOOD is called ROBIN....... he was a ROBBIN' guy who was a HOOD, geee..... epiphany!!!!

34. Do you cheer for the bad guy? not usually.... but then in some movies where characters grow and change (and there's always that potential for real life bad guys too) my heart goes out to them to grow and change and find God and become who He intends them to be, y'know?

35. What Hollywood star do you think resembles you best? my first thought was carol kane.

36. If you had to pick one, which cast member of "Lost" would you be? never seen it

37. What do you want when you are sick? ice cream, pudding, chocolate milkshake.... those go down when little else does, lol!

38. Who from high school would you like to run into? whoever God would want me to run into... hopefully now with my car!

39. What radio station is your car radio tuned to right now? CFNR, classic rock alla way, baby!

42. Norm or Cliff? is that from cheers? i don't know which is which!

43. The Cosby Show or the Simpsons? simpsons

44. Worst relationship mistake that you wish you could take back? every mistake is God ordained to shape me into who i am today, so none. i guess i am one of the few people in the world who would not take back or change anything about my past if i could do it again becuase God ordained even my stumbles and falls before the foundation of the earth, who am i to say "God i wish that hadn't happened", when He ordained it?

45. Do you like the person who sits directly across from you at work? uhhhh, i dont know how to answer that as i don't really have a job of any way shape or form right now.... but following char's lead, i'll say as babysitter yup i love keven grace and jojo!!!!

46. If you could get away with it, who would you kill? eh? i wouldn't ever give myself permission to do anything like that, as sinful human beings we would ALL be capable of it, so i won't think like that.... i spent too many years trying to off myself, anyways!

47. What famous person would you like to have dinner with? nobody 'famous'.... infamous? david berkowitz

49. Have you ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purpose? nope, and wouldn't know how!

50. Last book you read for real? as in, read the whole thing? wow, i can't remember~!!!!

51. Do you have a teddy bear? i think i still have some hangin' around!

52. Strangest place you have ever brushed your teeth? gas station parking lot.... the same goes for putting on deodorant, lol!!!!

53. Somewhere in California you've never been and would like to go? um, disneyland i guess.... or to the ocean to try swimming in the sea!

54. Number of texts in a day? no celly, no texty

55. At this point in your life would you rather start a new career or relationship? new relationship... i want a hubby! lol - but only the one God has for me. but i'm trying to focus more seriously on music, becuase God wants me to go that way too

56. Do you go to church? duh!

57. Pencil or pen? for writing, a pen. for puzzles, now it's a pencil, but even that used to be pen.... but i hate regular pencils, mechanical pencils are the greatest thing ever invented!!!! lol

58. bueller??? bueller??? bueller?? as in the movie? never seen it

59. How many jobs have you had? 1. clerk in christian bookstore. 2. babysitter (now). 3. i've sewed on occasion. 4. nothing else but volunteer jobs

60. What do you want to achieve in life? whatever God wants me to.

Spider... the time waster!

but hey, i finally, actually, won!!!! and playing with 4 suits, to boot!!!!! i've never, ever won before, it's crazy hard, it prolly took me two hours! lol...

anyways, here's proof, you CAN win 4 suit spider solitaire. who'd a thunk!

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

i have a lot to say...

i have a lot to say, but don't really know just what to say, or how to say it.... so i'll just freewrite....

i've had thoughts in my head today about the three stellar's jays i saw over the campfire this week.... right over me/in front of me. one flew in, then another.... then a third flew in, and the first flew away.... the the second flew away... then the third one ruffled its feathers and went all puffy like a blue fuzzball - no longer the majestic stellars but a fuzzy little chickie three times the size it should be... the it flew off an joined the others. and i just felt blessed i had seen them, y'know? i mean, three at once, on right in front of me~?!!! how kewl!

then i've had thoughts about how God is so amazing, and how He speaks through us in the prophetic is so amazing, and how He uses us feeble people to do His royal work... to declare His royal words..... like the dude on the cartoon castle watch tower calling out "it's three a.m. and all is well... and the fog is as thick as pea soup..."!!!

and i've had thoughts about how i get glimpses of God's big plan for my life, and when i try to figure it out it doesn't make logical sense... and so i just have to trust that DUH, not by my might or power but by His Spirit He's gonna do it so that MAKES it possible, y'know????

and i'm stoked about getting some fishing equipment and my salmon stamp in the next couple weeks hopefully... and doing some fishing... and wondering what the sun is going to do to my skin with all the time i've spent/will spend in the sun.... should i wear sunscreen and go with what the world says about avoiding skin cancer and slather on the chemicals onto my pourous, receptive skin, allowing carcinogens and neurotoxins to cross into my bloodstream transdermally, and blindly hope it's gonna prevent skin cancer?!... or just do as people for hundreds/thousands of years have done, just do what they gotta do, go where they gotta go, and trust God that everything's gonna be all right? .... i hear the ranks of churchianity crying out "be a good steward!"... but according to whose standards? the worldly medical establishment and pharmaceutical companies? /end rant, lol!

and i've been confused [and then not so confused once i heard from God about it], about my foray into 'secular' music.... (is there anything REALLY secular? can anything keep God out?) ....'oh i'm being followed by a moonshadow, moonshadow, moonshadow'... this originally by an artist known to have converted to islam.... ACK! i hear accusations of 'why would you want to sing a strange song by a person who's life stands for something so opposite of your own beliefs?'.... well, when i'm singing it i'm thinking about God, His omnipotence, His providence, His plans and purposes for my life, that i'm going to trust Him with my life.... i'm not thinking about who cat stevens is, what He believes in, etc... i'm not interpreting it to hear the enemy's voice (he's blathering on all the time anyways!), i'm listening for God's voice alone!!!! and on monday night at prayer, feeling all confused, God used those lyrics to fill me with faith, to show me the big picture, and lead me in my prayers. .... if God can speak through someone's ass, He can speak through a secular song. i mean, at least songs have words in them... most donkey's can't even speak! which is the bigger miracle??!!!! lol

and i'm thinking that i'm amazed by what God is putting into my fingers and bringing out on the piano. truly, HE teaches our hands to war and our fingers to fight, and that's what He's doing in me right now, retaking illegally occupied territory in many ways, from secular music, to old memories that left me unable to play the piano for years..... and i'm amazed i even have a piano, a remnant of my old life, but it's proven to be something God has truly redeemed for this new life.

and i keep thinking of gracie this week, and crackin' up over and over again, remembering how she looked at my shirt and said, 'lots of boh-bees~!'.... i asked her, hoping maybe i hadn't heard right, 'lots of babies?' and she scrunches up her face like i'm a doofus and says, 'NO! lots of BOOOOOOOOOOOOOB!' ....... lol~!~!~!

and i'm thinkin' now that i need to get off my duff and go have my shower before i procrastinate any longer (i hate bathing!) and wind up going to cell with greasy hair, yet AGAIN! lol

and lastly, i'm thinking that my word verification for this post is pretty funny.... nupsz.... NUPSZ? are you going to write any more, lynne? 'nupsz'. are ya gonna go have yer shower now? 'yupsz'.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006


ok, this is the last one!

a song i'm listening to over and over again lately..... and it's going in my 'repetoire' (sp?) .... it makes me think of the providence of God..... how He lets shadows in our lives, but we can have victory over them, and if we keep His eternal plans in mind, our perspective of our circumstances entirely change. kewl, eh? all that, and it's a secular song, too! lol

Monday, August 28, 2006

blast from the past!!!!!!

whoa... this was my FAVORITE video in back in the day... i must have recorded it off much music a hundred times..... lol.

DISCLAIMER: somewhat suggestive.... so be wise, my brothers!

Music Video Codes by

passion in performance

finally found a postable version of this performance by Zayra Alvarez ("Razorblade"). i was blown away when i saw it on tv a couple weeks ago. and it's the one and only time i've seen that show, too! anyways, inspired me that i want to carry that kind of passion in my performances... but channeled in the right direction, of course. :)

[for a better quality video, and a downloadable one to boot, go here.]

the torment of bullying

the torment arising from childhood bullying - something i know very well.

best representation of what goes on in a child's heart and mind?


need i say more?

crashing, crashing, crashing?

well, i've heard that my blog crashes some browsers, i'm thinkin' maybe it's my loooong photo posts? i dunno - anyhow, i've shortened my post list temporarily to 7 or some other small number until those posts are further archived (or, like now there is only one on the main page). sorry bout the crashin', chris. let me know if this helps, k? that goes for anybody. i'm a novice at web page design, so it could be that too. *sigh*

i'm tired lately. i spent all of saturday crashed in bed doing sudoku puzzles, gastrointestinal difficulties.... i danced like mad at church, but i really didnt feel good all day sunday either. today? it's past noon and i'm still in my jammies.

course, too, there is the decision of whether to move or not to move. friends say MOVE, mom says stay and bug the landlord. guess which seems like the less stress? moving. but then whats the stress? going against mom's advice. gack.

God's got His plans in all this, of course, with my health crashing once i got home again, when it was fine for so long on the trip, and then again camping at ackermans. [until the last day when i slept in the B-fam's tent (to avoid being alone in my tent with three burly guys camping down the road) which was full of bug spray - hives ensued, and a tight chest in the morning.]

anyways, i got a lead on a trailer for rent where my friend carrie lives, we'll see if i can work up the guts, work through the stress, to make the call to go see it - and sniff it.

sometimes i really just want to go live in a tent and breathe fresh air all the time.

but i don't like the idea of freezin' in the cold months, y'know? lol

Monday, August 21, 2006

Campin' Highlights (so far)

not home for good, just popped home for a shower and some more supplies....

a few highlights:

when i opened up my air mattress on saturday, it was full of mildew. some soap and water, a dip rinse in the lake and a few hours of direct sunshine took care of that (except for the stains).

inspired by a comment i saw on tv, i tried whizzing standing up... and believe it or not, it kinda worked. [yeah.....don't ask!] [ok, girls can ask, but only in private, lol!]

i didn't catch any fish yet, but will keep trying for my first! and i ate some of michelles catch, yum yum!!!!!

i swam in the lake, and it's the bestest lake for swimmin' in, ever. especially if you cross the creek and get to where the water is moving towards the river, it's so clear and clean..... yum yum.

i learned to never carry a child on your shoulders when you are walking through slippery mud. don't worry, nobody was injured, we just got reaaalllyy muddy.

chicken soup with asparagus and mushrooms is YUM YUM!

i have had no asthma problems while camping thus far!

i have even more of a tan now! how now, brown cow?

i discovered that using reflective silver emergency blankets to make a makeshift cooler really WORKS!!!! imagine using it IN a cooler?

i realized i am of the personality where i could kill an animal if i had to. that damn squirrel got on my last nerve and almost paid for it!!!! lol chicken coop, here i come!!!!! lol. i always wanted to see a headless chicken dance.

God is in control. i'm not going to get mauled by a bear, bitten by a tick, get headlice and have to shave my dreads off, get attacked by a leech, get bitten by a squirrel, or any number of hazards UNLESS IT'S HIS WILL. in which case, why fear what is in His perfect control?

hopefully mom and pam (and maybe her son!) will come out and visit us at the lake. whee!!!!!

and finally:

i missed church on sunday and i SURVIVED.
see y'all next sunday!

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Who the Heck?

You Are Amy Lee!

Gothy, expressive, woman-in-pain

Who looks damn good in a corset

"When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears

When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears"

and i have no idea who she is.
go figure.

Gone Fishin'! and Campin'!

" gone campin and fishin at ackermans point at the big cold lake hint hint come take a refreshing dip with us its sweet swimmin'~!! "

thus saith my messenger message. come, if thou dost knoweth wherewith we are!

seriously, it's the best swimming, especially in the glacial creek feedin' into the lake at the spit. yah, you go numb in a couple minutes.... so you get out, warm up, and jump back in. sweeeettt!!!!!!

it's gotta be therapeutic, all those minerals in the glacial water, too!

now for the bit guilt factor: i may ~may~ ~MAY~ miss church tomorrow. my legalistic 'must not miss church!' mindset rearing it's ugly legalistic head. lol. is God gonna beat me over the back if i don't want to use the gas to come in for church and go back out again after? nope. am i? i'll try! will the devil? you bet! so who'm i gonna listen to? God. am i gonna come in for church? maybe. if i only feel like i "should", then i won't. if i really want to come out of God's wonderful creation to worship Him in the sheep shed with the other sheep, then i will. lol.

but i plan on takin' my screamin' gui-gui-guitar, lol. have some church of our own! lol.

thank God for cd's of sermons! lol.

and i'm off, for more of this:
me, camping at a generic and undisclosed location in ontario.
this is not where we are camping this weekend.
don't go to ontario, we won't be there.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Fave Pics from Le Trip

took me two or three days to get this one single long post ready to ... uh... post. lol it better be worth it!!!!! :D

mt robson i think, banff national (or provicial?) park, BC

scenes from a cute little stop alone the way.....

scenes from our stop at a rest stop when we overheated,
first storm of the trip on the way.....

tired, hot, and sleepin'.... we prayed for happy campers, and we got them!

one dandy huge 'dandylion'... but i don't think it is, HUGE!!!

me and momma sayin' the byes:

somewhere in jasper, i think:

'i dont believe you...'
giggle guts kevo

givin' mom lovey eyes:

just the sight of my bed (gracie's just borrowing it) in our tent brings back the smell of our little home away from home.... and the strong urge to hop in and cuddle!!!!

our little he-man bundled up on a cold day (dropped to only 6 degrees the night before!... after 42 degree heat, that's cold!)

helpin' mum with the dishies:
and the baby....
and she has a non-marking butt to boot!

'no, mummy'

our happy home away from home for a week!

jordon finding something at the beach...then getting ready for a dip....
at the beautiful lake a half hour from timmins where we camped ("the cache")

jojo found every hole in the sand and roamed like a mad-ma... er... baby!

glamour gal wearing my hairclip lol

freakiy cloud that looked tornadoesque outside timmins

feeding himself? with the mess he was after, that's arguable! lol

just love these clouds

pics from the cry 2 (and later, the light show) at parliament hill, july 15th 2006:

another stop where we did some hippy kid-bathing!

the glory of God peekin' thru?

beautiful clouds for only being a day or two after a tornado that did this:

"i'm too sleepy to get the lid off, mom....zzzz...."
a day with family in ottawa!

meanwhile, back in the jungle.....

"GGRROWWWWRRR.....i'm gonna get you!!!!!"

'eek, i'm scared''i better run away... sorry i knocked the chair in your path, mom'
"GGRRAAwwwerr.... i caught one!!!! MWHAHAHAHA..."
.........'....nah, too cute for dinner....'

camping, and still multitasking!


a cold walk home from takin' a dip.....

bath time.....


just cute shots....

purdy as a picture, eh? lol

my feet, in their usual passenger-seat position:

trying hard not to laugh

le clan in leduc

"what's mom doin'?"

fixing the door that wouldn't open.... and tearing it apart in the process:

i wanna help!me too!

uh, i think i'll pass.....

like mother like son!

like little brother, like son?

sign at a gas station!!!!

aw, hunny, don't cry!!!!

cheered up!

rocks for dinner!

then, goodnight!!!!!

Outcast, Adopted.

THIS BLOG IS IN NEED OF AN OVERHAUL. there are posts from years back i would not be able to post in good conscience now. i plan to overhaul the blog, and either delete or add a disclaimer to those posts. but that is gonna take time....

The Radical Summons: "
Therefore let us go to Him outside the camp and bear the reproach He endured. For here we have no lasting city, but we seek the city that is to come." Hebrews 13:13.

"The Spirit never loosens where the Word binds; the Spirit never justifies where the Word condemns; the Spirit never approves where the Word disapproves; the Spirit never blesses where the Word curses." —Thomas Brooks

‎"God receives none but those who are forsaken, restores health to none but those who are sick, gives sight to none but the blind, and life to none but the dead. He does not give saintliness to any but sinners, nor wisdom to any but fools. In short: He has mercy on none but the wretched and gives grace to none but those who are in disgrace. Therefore no arrogant saint, or just or wise man can be material for God, neither can he do the work of God, but he remains confined within his own work and makes of himself a fictitious, ostensible, false, and deceitful saint, that is, a hypocrite." --Martin Luther (W.A. 1.183ff)

i will not let You go: "Jacob's sense of his total debility and utter defeat is now the secret of his power with his friendly Vanquisher. God can overthrow all the prowess of the self-reliant, but He cannot resist the earnest entreaty of the helpless." --Albert Barnes

i will not let You go: "Jacob's determination did not flow from his strength, it flowed from his weakness." --Charles Leiter