Saturday, September 30, 2006

I will not share My glory with another

think you can do something pretty good?

well, it's not you. you didn't come up with that talent or ability on your own. God gave it to you. and if you ever start feeling pretty good about how well you can do something, trust me, God's gonna take your feet out from under you.

that was my day today. so you think you can play the piano pretty well, lynne? lets see how you do on your own strength, 'hot stuff'.

oh oh.

well, i never claimed to be hot stuff... but i guess i was feeling pretty secure in my own abilities.

....well, the abilities i *thought* i had, anyways, lol.

so now i feel really rah-ther inadequate, dahlings..... but then, i guess inadequate but nevertheless willing is what He's looking for.

24 coins

i've been listening to the song "24 coins" by Gersh in the car.... over and over again.... it's a beautiful song. it speaks of how every 24 hours we have is like 24 coins God has given us to spend... only once. just beautiful - check out the lyrics.

feeling, faith, and fact

Three men were walking on a wall,
Feeling, Faith, and Fact,
When Feeling got an awful fall,
And Faith was taken back.
So close was Faith to Feeling,
He stumbled and fell too,
But Fact remained,
And pulled Faith back,
And Faith brought Feeling too.

- From "The Miracle Hand Around the World"
(as cited in "Streams in the Desert, volume two", by Mrs. Charles E. Cowman)

food for thought

God, who needs nothing, loves into existence wholly superfluous creatures in order that He might love and perfect them.
~ C.S. Lewis


wow. i have nothing intelligent to say about this, becuase it already says it all. our God is an awesome God!!!!

Thursday, September 28, 2006

patience... is it a virtue in this case?

two horrible days where blogger won't post for at least a few hours after i write.... slows me down terribly.... frustrates me like mad.... the world is coming to an end...

thinking of moving over to wordpress.... but then i'll have to do so much customizing again.... wish blogger would just get it's act together.... the world is coming to an end...

seriously, tho, i'm not looking forward to having to move my entire blog over to another whatchamacallit - server? - and redo all my html and css and blah blah blah.

patience is a virtue i guess.... but then maybe blogger is hoping people will just stay put for all the trouble it will be for us peons to change over. for me, that's a pain, becuase it means finding a server, which means paying for it (telus has only 25MB!), which means paying down the visa so i can pay for it.... learning how to upload ftp blah blah blah (which telus has only frusterated the bleepers out of me trying to figure out, now i can't even log into it GARRR!).....i'm thinking, three hours trying to figure this out, i should prolly go to bed, eh? lol.

is stubborness a virtue?

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

loyalty - family vs. Jesus

luke 9:
57 Now it happened as they journeyed on the road, that someone said to Him, "Lord, I will follow You wherever You go."
58 And Jesus said to him, "Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay His head."
59 Then He said to another, "Follow Me." But he said, "Lord, let me first go and bury my father."
60 Jesus said to him, "Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and preach the kingdom of God."
61 And another also said, "Lord, I will follow You, but let me first go and bid them farewell who are at my house."
62 But Jesus said to him, "No one, having put his hand to the plow, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God."

from todays My Utmost (regarding the above passage):

....Jesus Christ has no tenderness whatever toward anything that is ultimately going to ruin a man in the service of God. Our Lord's answers are based not on caprice, but on a knowledge of what is in man. If the Spirit of God brings to your mind a word of the Lord that hurts you, you may be sure that there is something He wants to hurt to death.

v. 58. These words knock the heart out of serving Jesus Christ because it is pleasing to me. The rigour of rejection leaves nothing but my Lord, and myself, and a forlorn hope. "Let the hundredfold come or go, your lodestar must be your relationship to Me, and I have nowhere to lay My head."

v. 59. This man did not want to disappoint Jesus, nor to hurt his father. We put sensitive loyalty to relatives in place of loyalty to Jesus Christ and Jesus has to take the last place. In a conflict of loyalty, obey Jesus Christ at all costs.

v. 61. The one who says - "Yes, Lord, but . . ." is the one who is fiercely ready, but never goes. This man had one or two reservations. The exacting call of Jesus Christ has no margin of good-byes, because good-bye, as it is often used, is pagan, not Christian. When once the call of God comes, begin to go and never stop going.

this in particular struck a chord - of agreement - in me: "These words knock the heart out of serving Jesus Christ because it is pleasing to me.".... do i want to serve Jesus becuase it pleases me somehow? well, an answer like that is sure gonna knock out the self pleasing aspect of it - i get nothing out of it. except the peace, and satisfaction that arises out of the knowledge that i am being used of Him.

"In a conflict of loyalty, obey Jesus Christ at all costs." ayeahch.... how often do i not? prolly most of the time. how often do i want to? always....

thankfully, He who began a good work in me is faithful to complete it!

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

bible reading schedule

i goooogled for a *chronological* bible reading schedule and i found this one: Through the Bible in Chronological Order... and i think i'm going to give it a try. i'm interested in doing it chronologically, because i'm hoping to get a better handle on when things happened, y'know? it's all kind of...jumbled up in the order of the books in the bible!

...althought i noticed that it places Job as having probably lived between 1360 to 1250 B.C. ... i thought he lived before moses' time? or was it that job was *written* before moses(?) wrote the first 5 books?

bleh. oh well. i'm too perfectionistic, anyhoo.

growl.... these are days of growth, dagnabbit!

wow... the last three days have been three days of attacks on me.

nightmares two or three nights in a row..... a freaky buzzing in my ear when i was in bed that sounded like a fly was living behind my ear - but i was too asleep to move.... doubts and condemnation and mocking and big time discouragement....

and i was fretting about it earlier today (tsk tsk!)... until this afternoon, when i was in the shower... i heard, 'it's becuase you are stepping out in faith this week'.

it's true, y'know? cuz all these things coming at me are like custom tailored to discourage me from stepping out.

be strong, be bold, lynne. don't fear stepping out in His strength - not mine. lean on Him, 100%, not yourself. this is what this whole experience/struggle is - a time of growth, a time of obedience in FAITH. He is leading me.

"fly, lynne, fly.... no "dreams" can possess you, I will not let you be decieved. if you ask Me for a stone, am i going to give you a serpent? no! I am leading you, no other... be bold, lynne, and fly....."

Sunday, September 24, 2006

who will show her the love of Christ?

CBC News: Children of slain pregnant woman drowned: autopsy

KRT Wire | 09/24/2006 | Woman accused of cutting out fetus went about daily life

my heart is pulled, as usual with such crimes, to the perpetrator. everyone else in the world is gripped by the stories of victims of various crimes... but few are gripped by the lost-ness of one who committed the crime.

she, like the rest of us, needs to find Jesus. she, like the rest of us, can find His grace, mercy, and forgiveness. she, like the rest of us, can come before the throne of God and recieve the redemptive work of Christ.

but how many of us are going bad-mouth her? how many will say, oh she's a crazy woman, so evil, she's going to burn in hell.....

well, yeah, she'll burn in hell if she doesn't find Christ. so would we have, if we didn't find Christ (or rather, He found us).

yeah, this is not the behaviour of a sane woman. but God can reach even the most insane person out there.

and yeah, she's evil... but so are we all, in and of ourselves. if we have ever hated our brother, we have sinned with the same gravity as this woman.

we have no place to judge her soul: Jesus is going to do that - that's not our job. our job is to reach out and love and show the mercy and forgiveness that Jesus offers her.

david berkowitz found Jesus, and he was the son of sam murderer! a serial murderer! now he's sharing the gospel to all the people he's in jail with!!! (he'll be in jail his whole life). what a redemtive God we serve. read more about david berkowitz here. you can watch a video of his testimony, too... a testimony of the amazing delivering power and mercy and grace and forgiveness of God.

and bad-mouthing *anybody* is something that's grievous to God... no matter how much they seem to deserve it.

a day of FEASTS

today was an amazing day of FEASTING.

first off, i went to church early enough to go to pre-service prayer, that and church were awesome. after church i skipped my previous plans and headed over to a friends for a potluck with a bunch of the ladies, which was AWESOME. i got to meet a wonderful woman of faith, Nell, a true mother, a christian since before(?) the second world war, a woman of amazing faith, with an amazing testimony. thank you, Lord.

"You have put gladness in my heart, More than in the season that their grain and wine increased." ~Psalm 4:7

i just feel so full up. i feel a bit wobbly, too, like i'm fighting off an attack of the enemy. yah, i'm tickin' him off. YEAH, GOD!!!!! whooo!

today's sermon was, basically, to know that the enemy wants to make us a friend of the world (ie. the world's ways, what the world systems have to 'offer')..... so that we will, my word here, COMPROMISE. yeah, that's easy to do. and when we compromise and be a friend to the world's 'riches', we open the door big time to the enemy. the remedy? soaking ourselves in God's Word, God's presence, and not drying out - if we 'dry out', we are like a log - cracks will form where we are vulnerable for the enemy to stick in a wedge between us and God.

i know this weekend i was challenged. i had a half a glass of wine - nothing wrong with that. but when you are in a group with people who are at varying levels of sanctification, or even totally worldly (unsaved), and alcohol comes into play, and some maybe get a bit buzzed, it's easy to let one's speech become rather worldly. .... purity of speech, that was my challenge..... there is always something to repent of, eh? but to God's glory, the evening ended up with prayer and worship, till 2 am, our hearts seeking after Him, His purity, His redemption... it truly felt like God redeemed the evening. we reached out to a new friend, solidified some existing friendships, turned mere aquaintances into sisters.... sought God, knowing where there was a challenge to each of us, rallying around each other in increasing measure as the evening progressed, until it was me and kimmers, with the guitar and praying and worshipping till 2 am.

where we are weak, and we know it, God can come through strong.... if we don't depend on our own strength.

honestly, i don't know if i would have gone if i knew there would be alcohol.... but i'm glad i was there. i'm glad i came through the challenge whole, praying that all doors to compromise have remained closed, knowing that i know that i know that one day soon we are going to have a new sister in our midst, brought out of the darkness and into the Light.....

Lord, i want to walk in HUGE FAITH, radically obedient to You, with NO COMPROMISE. may i be 100% in the Light.... and may i be able to bring Your Light to those who are still in darkness, through Your mercy, grace, love.... and TRUTH. grow my faith, Lord. make me be who You want me to be. do Your will in my life..... i am YOURS.

Saturday, September 23, 2006

food for thought

The church has been brought into the same value system as the world: fame, success, materialism and celebrity. We watch the leading churches and the leading Christians for our cues. We want to emulate the best known preachers with the biggest sanctuaries and the grandest edifices. Preoccupation with these values has perverted the church's message.
-Chuck Colson, Loving God

hmm.... makes me think of the crystal cathedral.

in honor of kim

this one's for you sweet cheeks.

um, well, ok, not so sweet.

click here to see video (make sure your speaker are on and volume up, mah dearie)

i like big bibles

*laughing insanely*

the daughter of evil

The Daughter of Evil - Elaine's Story - something to read, here!

Friday, September 22, 2006

arrrrrgh!!!!!!!!! i hate classical piano!!!!!!

well, i hate playing it anyways. i love the sound of it, i love hearing it come from my fingers, but i get so wired after playing it for only a few minutes i wanna scream. TOO MUCH INPUT!!!!

i'm asking my hands to fly across a keyboard in arpeggios and trills and yada yada yada, the music is flying through my brain, and i swear i'm gonna combust.

today when i went for some training time with God on the piano (He's training my hands to war and my fingers to fight, y'see?), and for some reason, instead of my worship music/God-songs, i pulled out my classical books from under my piano, where they are safely stowed, waiting dustily for the one time a year i pull one out. i amazed myself at how i could pick out old songs i played as a kid with a fair bit of ease - rustily, but easily..... then i grabbed my suzuki book with the something-teen odd pages of a mozart sonata (or some such - a sonatina maybe? i dunno) i was making myself learn about 10 years ago... and i could still play it quite easily - again, rustily, but easily.... i played about 6 pages non-stop then had to get up from the piano and hollar!


how is it that i can play it and hate it so?

it's so intense, so emotionally loaded for me. and i feel like never trying to play classical again.... never, ever again!

but i'm not going to say that - i don't want to put a ban/curse on myself, y'know?

it's been at least a year since i pulled out my classical books last.... when i also pulled them out for a day or two and shoved them back because it was too intense....having not pulled them out for year or more before that.

so i've played maybe 6 hours of classical piano in the last 3 years, since i've moved into this house.... and i can still pick up a complex mozart sonata(or whatever it is).

i feel kind of sick right now. it could be the can of oysters i scarfed down for dinner, mind you, but i'm having a heavy realization that i'm crazy talented at piano and that's a gift of God to be used... but i feel like it could undo me!

i feel like i could wind up living in a cave, on a quiet mountain side, trying to silence all the melodies running - running - running through my head, screaming to get out.... like a crazed musical savant genious hermit or something.... coming down the mountain (when she comes.... lalala) only once a month for supplies, with crazy hair and humming constantly and not talking to anyone unless i'm singing it melodically......

....and i'm only slightly exaggerating! aarrrgghhh!!!!!

if i don't play, i'm ok. i have "control" over the music in my head, it's more fun than anything, and comes in useful for writing music God gives me.....

but when i play the pia-pia-piano, as in classically, all... hell? ... breaks loose.


i think maybe it's God's timing for me to break through in this somehow.

i feel like throwing my computer monitor through my window.... how sane is that? lol

but.... *sigh*...

ok, God... i'm willing. if it's classical you want me to play, too, besides worship and God-songs, then show me... i'll play classical if you want me to.... but You'll have to break this/anoint this/heal this...this whatever it is. cuz i can't do it!


i wonder..... what's the point of classical music in God's kingdom, anyways?

Thursday, September 21, 2006

hmmmm..... healing?

"Divine healing is not a new thing; it is as old as the Book. I have chosen today the first chapter of Genesis, with emphasis on the 26th verse:

"And God said, let us make man in our own likeness, and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, andover all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth," -Gen. 1:26.

I want you to notice the 31st verse of the same chapter. "And God saw everything that He made, and, behold, it was very good." I read that as a reminder of the fact that God made everything good, and there was a time in the history of the human race when there was not a man or a woman with a cancer or a tumor, or tuberculosis, or Bright's disease, or diabetes, or any one of the ten thousand things that afflict mankind in our day.............

...Suppose we could have lined up this whole audience a couple of years ago, and had them pass before this platform. What a sorry procession it would have been. Miss Celia Prentice would have to pass along in steel braces, with one leg two inches shorter that the other, having been that way from birth. When she passes before the platform today, she walks on equal legs, and her feet are the same size and shape. That was not a healing - that was a work of creation, fulfilling the pattern that was in the mind of God, and bringing the structural form of that girl to where God saw "it was good"....

.....But bless God, there was a day when there was not one to pass God's platform with a cancer, nobody had a tumor, or any other form of disease. Our first parents were were lovely, sweet, and good. Every drop of blood in their body was perfect - 100% pure. That is the thing that we are trying these days to get men to understand. God is trying to get them to separate themselves unto Him, so that that same pure life of God that came from heaven, and took possession of men's lives, with come again. And it's same divine sweetness and heavenly purity will be recognized in us making us sweet and pure and lovely, body, soul and spirit."

~John G. Lake, from chapter 2 of "The John G. Lake Sermons - on dominion over demons, disease and death".

this has me intruigued.

He came that we might have life, and life to the full... could that really be life without sickness? life, without death licking at it's heels? where we don't get sick and die until it's our time? where God wants us to take authority over His creation as such that we can command the cells of the body to become obedient to God's perfect design? that we can take back the land taken by the enemy and cursed by sin and see life restored?


Psych Central - Adult ADHD/ADD Test

Psych Central - Adult ADHD/ADD Test - i scored 96.


it helps me to not feel like i must have some kind of degenerative disease causing the holes in my memory, focus, etc... i was just born with swiss cheese for brains. lol


The expression of Christian character is not good doing, but God-likeness. If the Spirit of God has transformed you within, you will exhibit Divine characteristics in your life, not good human characteristics. God's life in us expresses itself as God's life, not as human life trying to be godly. The secret of a Christian is that the supernatural is made natural in him by the grace of God, and the experience of this works out in the practical details of life, not in times of communion with God. When we come in contact with things that create a buzz, we find to our amazement that we have power to keep wonderfully poised in the centre of it all.
~ Oswald Chambers
from My Utmost For His Highest

oh, Lord, i want that.

and i'll need it... cuz i think in this littl' life o' mine, i'm gonna run into a lot of controversy and BUZZ.

cuz this littl' light o' mine, i'm gonna let it shine.

and i'll need God's grace thoughout... cuz i hate buzz.

so i'll need God's grace to keep me shining in the first place.

my tendency is to 'hermitate'.... hide out on my own, watch from the fringes.

but i know God's not going to let me stay there.

He's called me out from the harbour.

fly, silly seabird.... fly.

mensa wordage hahaziness!

got this hilarious email today.... i've taken out the ones i didn't like, and left my favorites:

Subject: Mensa Project

Here is the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. 2005 winners are:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

12. Karmageddon: It's when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, and then the Earth explodes and it's a serious bummer.

13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you

16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

18. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners are:

1. coffee, n. the person upon whom one coughs.

2. flabbergasted, adj. appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

3. abdicate, v. to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. esplanade, v. to attempt an explanation while drunk.

6. negligent, adj. absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

7. lymph, v. to walk with a lisp.

8. gargoyle, n. olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. flatulence, n. emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

10. balderdash, n. a rapidly receding hairline.

11. testicle, n. a humorous question on an exam.

12. rectitude, n. the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. pokemon, n. a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. oyster, n. a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

i particularly liked re-in-tarnation (hahahaha!...), arachno-leptic fit (makes me think of my beloved pastor), Beelze-bug the mosquito from hell... the test-tickle, the pokey-man, and the oy!-ster! oy!

and i've experienced cater-pallor, just this summer, right mickie? (lol)

....if a person who's shocked at how they've gained weight is flabbergasted, then what is a person who's lost weight and is shocked to find they have so much loose, excess skin? flappergasted?

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

been thinking 'bout cursin'

aye, yes, the Lord has some surgery to do in my heart. cuz for some years i've valiantly restrained myself to speak appropriately (not cuss), but have mean thoughts towards people.

especially people who drive stupidly.

it's easy to call other people down, label them, critisize them, demean them, curse them.... without cussin'.

i think God's got me driving - a new driver - at this time in my life, cuz it's His timing to deal with this in me... to alter some of my heart issues that defile.

it used to upset me to hear christians use 'bad words'.... and it's not cool to speak crass and offend people and such, but it's not the big issue, y'know? it's what's harbored in our hearts, our attitudes, our heart towards others....

and at the same time, i'm feeling this anger towards the enemy and his legalism and lies and corruption.... and i want to curse.... him.

a curse is a ban, to bind, and i want to see him bound. so i'll belittle him, smash his face, break his teeth.... cuz he's who deserves it.

and if it means i speak a little brashly when i'm telling someone about how the enemy lies and decieves and corrupts, then so be it. stomp stomp stomp.

if you get rattled out of your complacency... so be it. stomp stomp stomp.

big time backpedalling

"I wish to explain that not religion and violence, but that religion and reason, go together. I hope that my profound respect for world religions and for Muslims who worship the one God and which help to promote peace, liberties, justice and moral values for the benefit of all humanity is clear."
~Pope Benedict XVI
BBC NEWS | Europe | Pope says he was 'misunderstood'

is this syncretism? compromise? both? or something else entirely? *scratches head*


respectfully, mr. ratzinger, christianity does not fit into the mold of 'world religions'... for the simple fact that christianity is not a religion. it's relationship with Jesus. there's just no comparison.


it seems we have a wonderful pattern showing up here, with the last two popes:

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

quiet time guilt!

i needed to read this today. thank You, Lord... You blow me away with Your perfect timing!

Freedom from Quiet Time Guilt

1. The Diagnosis: Quiet Time Guilt

I recently watched as a congregation I love was spiritually raped. A Christian ministry came into the church for a three-day program whose purpose was to encourage believers to pray more. During one of the breakout sessions, a man expressed his frustration with unanswered prayer. He had faithfully prayed with and for his daughter for years, and still she was not walking with God. He was broken, depressed, perhaps more than a little ashamed. How does God in his grace speak to this man? A bruised reed was crying out for help.........[read more] Greg Johnson

MAP method

90 Day Renewal: Day 12: Tips for Scripture Memory - mmmm, yes, i want to keep this in mind when i read, sounds useful. the "MAP" method: memorize, analyze, personalize.

so long as i don't read into the scripture when personalizing.... gotta let the Holy Spirit do that job!

cussin' n' cursin'

Jesus on Cussing and Cursing, Part 2 « As a Blog Returns to its Vomit - hahahahah, good point!

matthew 15, 11, 15-20.... Jesus tells the disciples that it's not what goes in the mouth, but what comes out of it that defiles.... but the way in which He responded (rather 'vulgarly', shockingly) defines exactly what is - and is not - the kind of stuff comin' out that He means..... (follow the link above to get the greek word breakdown)

my version:

Jesus says, hey peeps, it ain't what goes in yer mouth that mucks ya up, doncha know!!!

the people say, eh?

so Jesus says, what are ya clueless, still? cancha tell that what goes in yer mouth jus' gets turned into goo, man, an' it gets dropped in the crapper?! man, its the junk that comes out of yer mouth that makes ya dirty, boy, cuz it just goes to show the evil crap in yer heart.... that's what mucks ya up.

to me, its the heart of the person.... wickedness? murder? adultery? sexual immorality? theft? lies? slander? not so much cussin'.... cuz we all know we can have wickedness, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, lies and slander in our hearts....and not cuss.

where's God's priorities? truth, righteousness, love.... and sometimes He told us that in a way that offended the religious folk.

digest that!

more from our featured author (how erudite is that?) lol:
Jesus on cussing and cursing, part 1
on cussing and cursing
profanity, part 1
profanity, part 2
profanity, the last word



isn't it funny how you can go through a super-duper faith-building incredibly-anointed time-with-God mountain-top-experience..... *knowing* in your head that the high is going to go away and the challenge will come, but *feeling* like it never will... and then discouragement sneaks in?



that teeny weeny GNAT with the teeth that likes to BITE and try to ANNOY the heaven out of ya.... with the great big MOUTH that speaks big fat LIES to try to SINK me when God intends for me to learn to SWIM... to tread water by TREADING on his big fat head.... STOMP STOMP STOMP.


don't ya know, golly gee whiz bang, that those crazy lies seem to filter in through cracks you didn't know you had, where they waft in seemingly odorlessly but they are really ROTTEN STINKING LIES.... and if ya don't stay on top of the enemy infiltration....


all last week i had this incredible feeling of RISE UP AND FIGHT, MIGHTY ARMY!!!!!

momoe said it was prophetic for my personal life, too.

sunday morning was a funny thing... i was in a rush to get to church, not much sleep under my eyelids, and i wasn't sure if i was going to wear this new black stretchy headband that i have (it's actually the cut off peace of some tights that i had cut and were uneven, and turned out to be the perfect size for a comfortable headband around my pumpkin sized noggin, but anyways....) .... not sure i would wear it or not, i wrapped it around my wrist... it was too loose. so i gave the slack a quick twist and brought it up around my middle finger, it felt comfortable, looked kinda kewl, and that was that... didn't think of it again. until later.

during worship, this incredible warring spirit just came over me and i was STOMP STOMP STOMPING.... no the usual dance/jump war, but a marching stomp, and fists clenced like a boxer ready to pummel the cr*p out of their opponent.... and it struck me that this black thing around my hand (and my middle finger to boot, see this post to find out what i'm talking about) felt kinda like when boxers wrap there hands with that tapey stuff to solidify their hands so they don't get injured when they are deckin' the devil but good.... lol.

put on the full armour (boxing gear) of God?

so everyday since sunday i've had this black band around my wrist/hand/finger, at it reminds me that God has called us to war.... called ME to war.... our battle not being with flesh and blood, but with principalities and powers..... and that my Jesus is TRAINING my HANDS TO WAR AND MY FINGERS TO FIGHT. (get back to that piano, lynnie! even a couple days without playing - warring! - is too many!)

a battle against the lying spirits.....

a battle for TRUTH, because the only power the liar has over those of us who are in the kingdom of God is what we give him... usually by believing his lies.


Jesus Camp


spiritual gifts quiz

i did a spiritual gifts quiz, and tho i wasn't impressed with the way the questions were phrased, the results were interesting:

21 Prophetic
21 Exhortation
19 Faith
19 Discernment
17 Music
17 Giving
17 Knowledge
17 Hospitality
15 Pastoral
15 Teaching
15 Helps
14 Mercy
13 Craftsmanship
13 Wisdom
11 Healing
11 Apostle
11 Intercession
11 Serving
8 Missionary
7 Evangelist
5 Leadership
3 Administration

one thing that's interesting is that the top 8 results are the ones i would suppose *were* my gifts....! kewl.

prophetic used to be low, and administration was at the top last time i did one of these quizzes, a few years back. my, how things can change....

i used to desire leadership and hospitality (i think i wanted to be a clone of our lead elders, lol!)...

well, i'd be suprised to find that i now score high in hospitality - if i were still wanting to be a clone.... hospitality for me is my doors are open to you, you are welcome in my home regardless of it's untidyness, in my activities regardless, and my life regardless... for me, it's less about blessing people with beautiful meals and a clean, comfortable, restful home for the weary traveller (an awesome form of hospitality!).... my home is an awkward untidy mess... yet i've had feedback that people love being at my place. (so come over a little more often, eh? lol) ... so my hospitality is a lot more.... untidy? a messy desk is a sign of a messy mind, is that house it goes? well what about a messy whole house? lol.... if you feel like you are a mess, you'll prolly feel comfortable at my house....!!!!!!

so what about leadership, now? do i still desire it? nyet. nope. nil. i have no desire for it, but i would desire to be a faithful servant if God called me to some form of 'formal' leadership. am i a leader now? yes in that priesthood-of-all-believers kind of way... i lead my friends by example, exhortaion, encouragement... but it's humbling even that, and the emphasis in my heart is on servanthood, ie a "servant leader'....

i used to score low in the prophetic... my pastor always said, lynne, run after the prophetic (we are a lot alike in how the prophetic flows thru us, lol)... but i always felt stalled, stilted. so it was kind of frusterated to pursue something that was so.... awkward. but now it's flowing a lot more, and i see it, and i'm like WOW.

cuz it's all about Him.

Monday, September 18, 2006

i'm getting a spanking today!

"If I am afraid to speak the truth lest I lose affection, or lest the one concerned should say, ‘You do not understand,’ or because I fear to lose my reputation for kindness; if I put my own name before the other’s highest good, then I know nothing of Calvary love. If I am content to heal a hurt slightly, saying peace, peace where there is no peace; if I forget the poignant words, ‘Let love be without dissimulation’ and blunt the edge of truth, speaking not right things but smooth things, then I know nothing of Calvary love.”
-- Amy Carmichael
~found it [here]

loving God with our heart, soul, and might...

"If loving God with all our heart and soul and might
is the greatest commandment,
then it follows that not loving him that way
is the greatest sin." ~R.A. Torrey
~found it [here]

oh wow.

Sunday, September 17, 2006

for my sister


and don't you forget it!

see the storm through the eyes of eternity... don't fear the wind, the noise, the lightning... stand firm, raise the standard, and LET GOD DIG UP THE ROOTS!!!!!

one by one He digs them up...

and eventually they'll look like this:
and remember what stands firm through even the strongest winds....

Saturday, September 16, 2006

tag again

1. If you could build a house anywhere, where would it be? here... or up at the lake. unless God said somewhere else.

2. What's your favorite article of clothing? right now, my crocs. i also love my new dark green hoodie cardigan!

3. Favorite physical feature of the opposite sex? eh?

4. What's the last CD that you bought? Joni Mitchell's "Song to a Seagull"

5. Where's your favorite place to be? in the Spirit

6. Where is your least favorite place to be? in a dirty restroom

7. What's your favorite place to be massaged? my feet

8. Strong in mind or strong in body? quasi strong in mind..... wimp in body lol.... except i *can* throw a 25lb girl up in the air over my head about 20 times in a row... i was impressed, are you? lol

9. What time do you wake up in the morning? between 8 and 10 am.

10. What is your favorite kitchen appliance? can opener

11. What makes you really angry? inconsiderate, rule breaking drivers. (stupid *bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeps*.......)

12. If you could play any instrument, what would it be? like all of a sudden i just know how and am accomplished at it? guitar... bass... cello.... and get better at the piano....

13. Favorite colors? creamsicle orange, spring green, camel, browns, raspberry, burgundy, chartreuse, teal...

14. Which do you prefer...sports car or SUV? suv... i want to go camping every chance i get! ...even better would be a camper van!

15. Do you believe in an afterlife? but of course

16. Favorite children's book? um.... little kids? i think it's called 'millions of cats' by a lady, last name gog, or gag, or something like that.... older kids? narnia books, i guess.

17. What is your favorite season? the fall

18. What is your least favorite household chore? everything

19. If you could have one super power, what would it be? ...any gift of the Spirit God wants to do through me

20. If you have a tattoo, what is it? none...yet.

21. Can you juggle? two balls, yes .... three balls, yes, but badly! lol

22. The one person from your past that you wish you could go back and talk to? one that i can think of... lots prolly that i 'should', but i won't unless God brings them into my life!

23. What's your favorite day? in general? cell day (home group)... next runner up would be sundays! then, prayer days. lol

24. What's in the trunk of your car? empty boxes

25. Which do you prefer, sushi or hamburger? i like my food dead... which one do you think? lol

leaving the harbour...

Jesus has been speaking to me.... listening to joni mitchell music of all things. the album: "Song to Seagull".... amazing album.... got it at canadian tire, $10... go get it! cuz hey, God redeems anything He wants and can use it to speak to us, His Spirit speaking to us, y'know?

oh gosh, i can't even write it out right now.....

...there's a Man out on the water, filling me with dreams....

a few years ago, someone who could not understand why our church didn't have me making use of certain gifts - he said to me, essentially, "you've been harboured, i don't know why you're harbored but it isnt right...".... and i always had the thought, it's not the people, the leaders who've harboured me, it's God, for His reasons, His timing... it's just not His timing... it's ok, God's dealing with me in my heart...growing me, preparing me.... i could hear the cry for justice in this mans heart...but there was no injustice; just God's timing... i've remembered that comment, "you've been harboured" for a long time, for some reason.....

...the Man has raised me up to go sailing with Him... i am His queen.... He bestows His jasper and crystal on me.... He raises me to fly with Him, to soar with Him, to dive with Him.... promises of freedom....

and He spoke this line to my heart, clear as day, early this morning, from "cactus tree", by joni mitchell:

"...and he takes her to a schooner, and he treats her like a queen... bearing beads from california with their amber stones and green...he has called her from the harbor...he has kissed her with his freedom... he has heard her off to starboard, in the breaking and the breathing of the water weeds... while she was busy being free"....

oh, yes, He has called me from the harbour, where He had me waiting, patiently, sometimes striving to get to sea, sometimes mad, sometimes frusterated, but always knowing it was He who harboured me, nobody else.... while i waited, He filled me with dreams, years of dreaming, vision, promise, one day i will be free, no fear, no holds barred... now He has called me from the harbour.... He hears, sees me, promises me, i'm splashing in the water, never minding the waves, the noise, the confusion... the weeds of the world... becuase i'm free ... i pay no attention to them, i'm busy, busy walking in His freedom....

...soar, lynne, soar above all those who may think you're silly, who can't understand, just pursue me....

...there is a Man, bleeding, a Man who won the war, giving me medals, riches, promises, tokens, medallions.... all His silver, all His gold... given all for me... for the promise to be free...

dive for My treasure, lynne, it's for you. dive, dive, dive again, pursue my treasure, it's yours....

another few lines from joni mitchell's 'the dawntreader' that He spoke to my heart:

" medallions, gilded galleons spilled across the ocean floor... treasure somewher in the sea and he will find it... never mind their questions there's no answer for... the roll of the harbour wake, the songs that the rigging makes, the taste of the the spray he takes as he learns to give, he aches and he learns to live..."

no matter the noise and hustle and bustle, people not understanding you, pursue me... dive for my treasure... dive, dive, over again... like those ducks diving for treasure over and over again, more time underwater than out.... dive for my treasures.... they are yours if you only dive for them, pursue them, search for them.... you are free to dive.... I promised you freedom, I died to give you life, so you may live it to the full... i give you dreams, and they will come to be....

yet another portion of a song by joni mitchell, from "song to a seagull":

"fly silly seabird... no dreams can possess you.. no voices can blame you for sun on your wings... my gently relations have names they must call me for loving the freedom..."

yes lynne, fly.... no matter if people think you are silly... these dreams wont make you crazy, they are life and vision to you, I speak to you, I lead you... no one can blame you for soaring in the Sonlight, My glow on your wings... soar, lynne, soar... they may think you and I are weird, but who cares.... soar with Me, soar in freedom... you are no silly seabird, you are on wings as an eagle, looking into the light of My Sun, into My glory, on the breath of My Spirit.... soaring far above the pilings and the docks and the world who will try to tie you down from sailing out from harbour, from soaring on My Spirit, from diving for My treasure... just be busy...being free.

beware the quiz

this is the one i'm talking about:
(your first pet and the street that you live on)-
2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (grandfather/grandmother on your mom's side, your favourite candy)-
3. YOUR "FLY GIRL/GUY" NAME: (first initial of first name, first two or three letters of your middle name) -
4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favourite colour, favourite animal) -
5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born) -
6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, first 2 letters of mom's maiden name) -
7. SUPERHERO NAME: ("the", your favourite colour, favourite drink) -
8. NASCAR NAME: (the firstname of both your grandfathers) -
9. FUTURISTIC NAME: (the name of your favourite perfume/cologne and the name of your favourite shoes) -
10. WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother/father's middle name and the next name you hear on the tv/radio/talk) -

oh gee, this is a fun quiz to do, but i'll never post it publically.... it screams of "i'm collecting your personal information in a sneaky, fun way....hoping you won't notice!"

it collects:

your first initial
your middle name
the street you live on
the city you were born in
your grandfather's first names
your mother's maiden name - depending on how you answer #2-first name of your choice of grandparent, or last name of your mothers parents (ie. mother's maiden name- particularly nasty info to collect!)
your mother's middle name
name of your first pet (often the secret question for getting passwords sent)

don't answer this quiz.

Friday, September 15, 2006

experiment in obedience

ok, i'll start at the beginning.... well, sort of... last night at cell. deb shared her testimony, and one thing they said really inspired me to start asking God, "what should we do now? where should i go now?"....

so today, after leaving a friends house with a deep feeling of TRUTH, a grieving and travailing in my spirit about how much LIE there is in the world around us, mixing in with the truth (or trying to).... i started singing in the Spirit as i drove home.... i come up to the corner of my street and i say, ok God, where do you want me to go?... i turn onto my street wondering if i should go home or go for a drive.... 'go for a drive'... so i kept going....

....i wound up driving through town, just following the leading of God, CHOOSING to trust that it was Him... and i felt like i was headed to mickie's house.... now, she had called me earlier to say she did NOT need me to babysit at 4:45... and here i was, going her direction at 4:45..... i'm like, yah right, it can't be her house, can it, Lord? 'don't ask, just go where i lead'... ok.... i'm driving up to the corner of her street and i'm like, am i supposed to go there? the road is clear (there's been construction so it could have been closed)... if you want me to go there, Lord, you'll have to give me an urge to turn left.... i get to the corner, i feel the urge, so i do.... so i'm like, yup i guess i'm going to mickies house..... i park on the road, get out, thinking she's going to ask me what on earth i'm doing there, and here i don't even know myself!!!! i hope she's not gonna be weirded out, or her day too interrupted by me showing up, but oh well... i'm just kinda having an experiment in obedience, and this is where i was led, and her being a good friend, i knew when i told her she'd get it... she might think i'm a bit goofy (hey, i am!), but she'd get it, y'know? laid back beyond belief....

so i get to the door and (did i knock on the window?) she saw me thru the window and threw her hands up like, what on earth are you doing here? and i just threw my hands up in the air, like, i don't have a clue! she waves me in... she says what are you doing here? didn't your mom tell you i phoned? yup... so what are you doing here?

i said, i don't have a clue, ask God! (or some such).

i thought maybe i was to give her a hug... as it turned out, her kids had got into flour, she was sweeping up the flour and she did look tired so i gave her a hug... her hubby came up the stairs and is like, what are you doing here? i'm like, i don't have a clue!!!!! lol i figured a hug just might be it... so i gave her a hug, we both went out the door at the same time, laughed a bit, hugged again, and she was off to the chiropracter... and i'm like, kewl.. ok God, now what?

so i drive down the street a ways behind michelle, and she turns right.... when i get to the corner i hear, 'turn right'... now me, i'm super conscientious about what a person might feel - worry about, get nervous about, yknow?... so i'm thinking, but she might think i'm following her and get all weirded out if i'm behind her, i mean, i just showed up at her house all out of the blue and mysterious like, y'know?? she might think i'm following her! God's like, 'turn right'. so i did.

so i'm driving along, asking where i'm supposed to go, and when i get to a certain street, i hear 'turn left'... now this is not so much an audible voice, just a knowing, a hearing in my spirit, y'know? but i'm like oh, but this is the street mickie would have just turned down to go to the chiropracter! again, 'turn left, lynne'... so i did....

so i'm asking, am i supposed to go down there and talk to her? if i go past the chiropracter she might see me and wonder what on earth i'm doing following her around town!!!!! 'don't try to figure it out lynne, just go'... ok... and as i'm driving up there i see her going from her van to the door and i get there and drive by, looking everywhere BUT at her van or the chiropracters office!!!! lol....

so i'm like, ok God, now where? 'straight'..... 'right'.... 'right'..... 'straight'... ok, kewl... and i drive past maria!!!!! she doesn't see me, but she looks tired... so i'm, ok, maybe i'm supposed to run into maria! 'don't try to figure it out lynne, just obey'..ok, God.... keep my mind open, don't try to figure it out....

....soon, He prompts me to turn onto that street again... and sure enough, past the chiropractors again... van still there... now i'm really feeling like a stalker *lol*... but thinking it's neat how God is leading me, i'll tell her later, she'll understand... but i still looked everywhere BUT the van and the chiropracters as i was going by.. la la la la la

and all the while i'm still singing in tongues.....

so i drive around a few more blocks again, and God leads me down that street AGAIN. this time im like, OK, i'll have quite the tale to tell mickie later... i had visions of her laying on the chiropractors table, or whatever, looking out the window onto main street seeing me go by the third time convinced i was stalking her, lol... but by then i'm like i don't care, it's not about what she thinks, it's about what God wants. bingo, i think that was the point of going around the 'mountain' three times, until He defeated that aspect of the 'fear of man' in me - what will people think?! lol. amen for His patience and grace, eh? cuz the next time i came to the turn off to that street, i'm like, again God? He's like nope. keep going straight. and i just knew, "three obediences", and that was that, now move on... so i did.

so the next turn is onto a residential street, and about halfway down the street i see a little dog darting around down the street, how cute... a lady chasing him, aw, he wan away fwum home, cutie wutie... but she was upset.. and there was a guy further back running too... i realized they were both older folks, they had trouble running.... and as as i drove past her she threw her hands up in the air and wailed "Hershell!!!!! come back here~!" and i realized it wasn't good. i'm like what now God? pull over. so i did. the devils like, 'naner naner naner, you got a hero complex~!' oh shut up. stomp stomp stomp his head... now what, God? turn around... head off the doggie 'at the pass'... so i drove down the street and turn in JUST in front of the dog, only a few meters away from a busy thru street. the lady freaked out, prolly thinking i was going to run him over without seeing him, but i purposefully stopped right in front of him... he stopped dead, i waved my fingers at him to 'go that way! go!'... her turned around and ran bounding down the street.... i pulled the car around and saw him disappear into a yard... i ask the lady if i can help in some way and she's like all glazed eyes and is like, oh no he ran into his driveway (must have been dog sitting?) ......i can't believe how fast such a little thing can go so fast i cant believe cant keep up so fast ran away---!!!!!!!!!.... i said, i hope i didn't scare you too much, corralling him like that, she's no it's ok, thanks, started walking away..... i drive down the street, spotted the guy carrying the puppy, and i drove away.....

...amazing.... God led me up the arena hill and i sat up there and opened my bible to isaiah 25:1 - "O Lord, You are my God, I will exalt You, I will praise Your name, For You have done wonderful things"... oh yeah, God, very kewl!!!!! You rock!!!! woship, worship, worship, teary, i feel good so i drive off... then i pull over and have to find the scripture again so i can write it down!!!! i write that part down, but theres one more phrase in that verse: "Your counsels of old are faithfulness and truth."... should i write that down? oh ok, why not. kewl, i was obedient, is that what faithfulness could be about? i'm obedient!

then i feel to turn left at one point, onto a dead-end street, and i automatically keep going, cuz it's a dead end street, right? no where to go! 'why did you not obey, lynne?' .... OH..... cuz i'm *not* obedient. still got a long way to go!!!! lol...

so off i go.... and tsk tsk, as thoughts come to me i jot them down - while driving (but very slowly, nobody around, if there was i pulled over, keep yer rocks in yer pockets, lol!)

so i'm like following the leader here... i come up to the highway where i should now? i'm tired GOd! (i'm always tired after the Holy Spirit moves in me)... instead of straight across the highway to home.... 'turn right'... ok God... but gee i'm tired... if you are taking me somewhere besides home, you'll have to give me some energy, cuz i'm wiped.....

in less that 30 seconds i was singing in the Spirit at the top of my lungs again!!!

'turn right', so i go up the hill towards the college.... they have flagging people up there (lots of construction today - could that be saying something about what God's building in me? faith!) so i have to wait for a while... and i think, "Your counsels of old are faithfulness and truth" and He speaks to me that it's not about being perfectly obedient, yer gonna miss it sometimes, it's about always being willing to try again, to be faithful in coming back after having been disobedient and saying, God i still want to be obedient to You!!!! that's faithfulness.... combine that with the feelings about TRUTH i had earlier, that scripture comes to life, not believing the counsel of my evil heart/mind, but His awesome, wise counsel of old.... and it set me crying at how awesome God is....

so finally i can go on up the hill, and i'm coming up to the college, and i'm like, ok, did you want me to go see debbie? after all, her sharing last night is part of what gave me the faith to say, "ok God, where to now?" it made sense.... 'don't try to figure it out, lynne' ... ok, sorry God.. well, we'll see if the road is open, cuz there's construction there again... but it was being paved... the rough road being made smooth... as i'm writing this, i'm seeing that it's all part of God working in me, growing my faith in this area, smoothing down the bumps of disbelieve and fear and etc and smoothing the way of the Lord in my heart, to work in my life... kewl God...

so i drive by the construction, come to another turn off... this one is either a road that heads out of town, a road that a friend from church lives on, or turn right onto a road that heads towards... marias!.... or around the block to deb's..... 'don't try to figure it out, lynne, just go where i say'.... He's oh so quiet and patient with me~!!!!! so i just praise Him and when i get to the corner, 'turn right'.. ok.... all right God, am i going to marias? or debs? or straight? what's up here? again... 'don't try to figure it out, lynne! just go'.... so release! now i'm singing at the top of my lungs, just feeling free, feeling led, feeling faith.... i get to the corner, and hear 'left' - towards marias.... i think, is it going to be down marias street, or straight thru to this little rural go-nowhere street, God? i'll take the dead end road, God, what ever You say!!!! i was game for anything.... 'right'....down marias street.

so now i'm like, ok God, if you want me to pull in at marias, if her car is there then i'll know to go knock on the door..... it was. so i pulled in, grabbed my bible and notebook, and went and knocked....

i think she was blessed by my popping in unannounced... one thing i do know is GOD SHOWED UP BIG TIME!!!!! i went there willing to do whatever God wanted me to, and she wound up blessing me big time, praying over me and confirming things in my heart of what God has been speaking to me.... after an hour we needed to part, so out of a willingness to be available to go whereever God leads, i'm like, can i use your bathroom? just in case doesn't want me to go home yet? lol.....

so finally i leave and i'm feeling REALLY wiped by now... i go down the hill.... past a house with a mermaid fountain... and this line from a joni mitchell song came into my head, so i filed it away for later... drove past canadian tire, nobody in there to see.... drove down the highway AGAIN.... went down past the mill, there was two big machines on the road, it looked like they were scrubbing the center line with water/oil and gravel.... i have NO clue what it was doing..... interesting thing was, when i got to the other side of the machines, there was flaggers.... more construction flaggers! ...but there were none on the side i came from.... strange eh? and i just felt like God was showing me that on the road yer on, you can't always see whats coming from the other end until you get there, y'know? .... filed away for later... cuz by now i'm paying attention to all the little things!!! lol...

so i had been thinking i'd prolly turn down a street that would take me home, thinking mom might be wondering where i've been, totally MIA for 2 1/2 hours by then... but the flaggers were blocking the road, i put my ticker on, but it's like, 'keep driving'.... so i did. went down to the riverside/boat launch, and just sat for a while, thinking about what God had said at marias, making notes.... i listened to the seagulls going nuts... watched them fly about, the river so green... i thought about how i was alone along the edge of the highway, how there have been 30-some women who have gone missing along this highway.... am i going to be scared? no... God is in control.... He won't tell me to go somewhere if He's not going to keep me safe... or if He did tell me to go and something happened, it would be totally His will.... be at peace. what if He told me to drive down the highway out of town? 1/4 tank of gas, possible serial killer on the loose... would i go? Lord, i don't know. make me able. i TRUST You... Your leading is perfect.... but would fear come up, and keep me from obeying You??? something to think about. i still have a long way to go in my walk of obedience i think. i mean, it's no different than if He asked me to walk over the border into a 'closed' country with a suitcase of bibles, knowing that *if* they caught me they'd prolly put me to death.... gee, i don't know. something to think about. i want to have that kind of faith... faithfullness to obey faithfully... listening to the TRUTH, not lies!

i get in the car and watch some ducks, two of them, they would dive into the river, disappear for a looong time(~! to me, anyways!) and pop up out of the water like 30 feet downstream... then dive down again. it struck me how they come up for air, but quickly dive in again, in hot pursuit of whatever they are after.... they spend more time under water, in the river, than on the surface... bubbles drifting down past the bench so i couldnt see where they were going, but thinking, i don't need to know where the bubbles go... filed for later, lol!

it was like a little restful time along the side of the river, just popping up for air...

so finally i head towards home down the highway, and there is a beautiful orange sunset glow on some mountains in the distance and i'm just in AWE of my God.

this time i do turn down that would take me towards my house, 'left' yup, thats the way to home... 'right'.. yup, that's to home.... all done here? 'left', yup, home here i come! ~ if God's done with me tonight that is....

well, out backs a pickup out of a driveway and i snarl at it for not looking....and it's a friend from church and her son!!!! we pull over and talk for an HOUR... God just speaking through us to each other, exciting us, encouraging us, just utterly thrilling us... GOD SHOWED UP, AGAIN.... how cool is that?!?! it was amazing. total divine appointments.

finally headed home, without God sending me elsewhere, lol!

i'm thinking now...

mermaid fountain: fountain.. a word God gave maria about springs for me, wanting more springs, you have not cuz you ask not... ask for a second spring! more God! mermaid.. the joni mitchell song goes, "On a promise to be free, mermaids live in colonies, all his seadreams come to me"... it just speaks to me about freedom, His promise, diving deep in the water, seeing His visions for my life come to pass.... more, Lord!!!!!

diving ducks: dive in the river, lynne. be content with only a few gasps of air, fine Me in the river... don't be afraid of the current, where i'm taking you, just dive....

machines with only one ended flagging, and bubbles: i don't have to 'figure it out', i don't 'need to know'... i don't have to see whats coming at the end to just GO, i don't have to see where the bubbles are going... just GO. Trust God, obey, and GO.

yes, God is cleaning up my highways, He is paving over the bumpy areas, working on making smooth the way of the Lord in me, for what He's going to do in my life.... making every bump smooth..... making way for Him to move through me. PREPARING ME. training me. raising me up. preparing me as part of His mighty army!!! one of david's mighty men of valour...who, me? yup.

enjoying the warmth

ok, one more thing to write about before i head out to pams.... i still haven't turned the heat on in my house... i'll have to soon, but i'm learning something here....

after camping all summer, i loved the coolness of night and the heat from the fire....

at home, i usually have the heat on so the temperature is fairly even year round, i don't like getting chilly....

yet here i am, in a chilly house, and i'm finding that i love the feel of warm water coming out of my taps and running over my fingers, the warmth of being cuddled up in a blanket with a book... and even my cool toes... i feel awake, alive, with cold toes....

so i'm actually using my hot water. generally its only used for laundry, dishes, and bathing.... i've always washed my hands in cold water... why? i'm in too much of a rush to wait for the water to heat up...... wet, soap, rinse, shake, taps off, dry, then i'm outta here.... now, i'm lingering and enjoying the warmth.

its something new for me.

Quiet Time: Listening

Holy Experience of LISTENING: Quiet Time: Listening - again... all i can say is *wow*. a devotional for my day, to think and mull over... and for any one with a family who could put this into practice....

pweese, Daddy?

Holy Experience of LISTENING - Please? - wow.

pweese, Daddy? pweese, Abba? supplication in beauty and meekness - quiet strength.... resting in the knowledge of our standing in Him, our inheritance.... that i can come to Him in such a way..... *happy tears*

journal ideas

Semicolon - note to self: the following journals interest me... we'll see how God leads!

Homemaking journal
Sketch book
Photos w/ stories journal
Lists journal
Idea journal
Commonplace journal - quotes, lines from poems/sermons etc
Prayer journal
Bible study journal
God's creation journal

.... most done in blog form, or a file on my comp, becuase i can't handwrite for long. and if you read my blogs at all, you know i have to write for a long time to get out all i gotta say! lol

a child's heartbreak

ChoosingHome Blog » First Heartbreak - when reading this i thought of some friends, friends who have children, children who have emotions, emotions that need to be covered with love.... may you be blessed reading this.

an awesome pic from

be prepared to cry!

Susan Godfrey's Blog: Birth Story & More Photos - just too amazingly beautiful.

more beautiful photos of baby Godfrey here.

also, theres an organization that does this, to help with grieving. amazing.

walk with me....

....hard to explain how i feel after cell tonight....


like in my spirit i'm jumping up and down, crying, praising, declaring His greatness and power....

love... joy... peace...

i want to have the kind of relationship with Him that i say, "ok, what are we doing tonight?"... and go for a 'date' with Him to tim hortons for a tea and whatever He's got planned (lol)... like the Lord is truly my Husband, my Companion, at my side continually... because He is....

i want to be ever more aware of Him....

i want to be the bride at His side...

i want to be woman at His feet, pouring my oil on Him, kissing and wiping His feet with my hair.... because my glory is truly but a rag next to His....

i want to walk with Him, and one day just "be not"... because He is so well pleased with me that He wants me with Him in His presence in Heaven....

I come to the garden alone
While the dew is still on the roses
And the voice I hear falling on my ear
The Son of God discloses

And He walks with me, and He talks with me
And He tells me I am His own
And the joy we share as we tarry there
None other has ever known

He speaks, and the sound of His voice
Is so sweet the birds hush their singing
And the melody that He gave to me
Within my heart is ringing

And He walks with me, and He talks with me
And He tells me I am His own
And the joy we share as we tarry there
None other has ever known

I’d stay in the garden with Him
Though the night around me be falling
But He bids me go; through the voice of woe
His voice to me is calling

And He walks with me, and He talks with me
And He tells me I am His own
And the joy we share as we tarry there
None other has ever known

Thursday, September 14, 2006

moving video

a well done video of 9/11.... not something i would normally put in my blog, but it has some amazing video and is very well done...

revelation of restoration

today's My Utmost for His Highest (Oswald Chambers) really fits my life right now.... yesterday.... it fits exactly my yesterday, it's totally where i'm at when it comes to muddles, lol. God always brings these things to me AFTER the fact, confirming 'today' what He's worked in my heart 'yesterday'. God's cool.

Imagination V. Inspiration

“The simplicity that is in Christ.”
2 Corinthians 11:3

Simplicity is the secret of seeing things clearly. A saint does not think clearly for a long while, but a saint ought to see clearly without any difficulty. You cannot think a spiritual muddle clear, you have to obey it clear. In intellectual matters you can think things out, but in spiritual matters you will think yourself into cotton wool. If there is something upon which God has put His pressure, obey in that matter, bring your imagination into captivity to the obedience of Christ with regard to it and everything will become as clear as daylight. The reasoning capacity comes afterwards, but we never see along that line, we see like children; when we try to be wise we see nothing (Matthew 11:25).

The tiniest thing we allow in our lives that is not under the control of the Holy Spirit is quite sufficient to account for spiritual muddle, and all the thinking we like to spend on it will never make it clear. Spiritual muddle is only made plain by obedience. Immediately we obey, we discern. This is humiliating, because when we are muddled we know the reason is in the temper of our mind. When the natural power of vision is devoted to the Holy Spirit, it becomes the power of perceiving God's will and the whole life is kept in simplicity.

some scriptures God spoke to heart yesterday:

Isaiah 5:1 - Now let me sing to my Well-beloved a song of my Beloved regarding His vineyard:

Isaiah 1:18 - "Come now, and let us reason together," says the Lord. "Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall be as wool. (19)If you are willing and obedient, you shall eat the good of the land; (20) but if you refuse and rebel....

Jeremiah 7
v.1 - The word that came to (me) from the Lord, saying, "Stand in the gate of the Lord's house, and proclaim there this word, and say, 'Hear the word of the Lord, all you ... who enter in at the gates to worship the Lord!'" (.... uh, who, me? huh?)

v. 23 - "But this is what i commanded them, saying, "Obey My voice, and I will be your God, and you shall be My people. And walk in all the ways that I have commanded you, that it may be well with you.'" (obedience brings peace in the Lord....)

v.24 - "Yet they did not obey or incline their ear, but followed after the counsels and the dictates of their evil hearts, and went backward and not forward." (don't do that, lynne... don't listen to the reasoning or rationalizations of you hearts, if you do not obey Me you will be going backwards... obey Me and you are moving forward.)

v.25 "Since the day that your fathers came out of the land of Egypt until this day, I have even sent to you all My servants the prophets, daily rising up early and sending them." (... My Spirit has spoken to you early this morning, I am sending you to do this, lynne, obey Me in this.)

v.28b - "This is a nation that does not obey the voice of the Lord their God nor recieve correction. Truth has perished and has been cut off from their mouth." (God is directing me in this, if i do not speak what He has given me, He will give me words no more. do not be stiff necked, lynne! be teachable! follow His leading!!!!)

Isaiah 1
v.20b - For the mouth of the Lord has spoken.
v.21 - How the faithful city has become a harlot! It was full of justice, righteousness lodged in it, but now murderers. Your silver has become dross, your wine mixed with water....

John 2
v.1 - On the third day there was a wedding in Cana of Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there.
v.2 - Now both Jesus and His disciples were invited to the wedding.
v.3 - And when they ran out of wine.... (no wine left, only water...)
v.3b - ...the mother of Jesus said to Him, "They have no wine".
v.4 - Jesus said to her, "Woman, what does your concern have to do with Me? My hour has not yet come." (...establishes this as a prophetic act....)
v.5 - His mother said to the servants, "Whatever He says to you, do it." (...obey His orders, even if it makes no sense, becuase He knows what He's asking of you!)
v.6 - Now there were set there six (the number representing 'man') waterpots of stone, according to the manner of purification of the Jews (the way God dictated He would purify His people), containing twenty or thirty gallons apiece.
v.7 - Jesus said to them, "Fill the water pots with water." And they filled them up to the brim. (... mere stone pots filled with mere water... but filled to the full.)
v.8 - And He said to them, "Draw some out now, and take it to the master of the feast." And they took it. (...obedience, us taking the little we have, to do something we can't comprehend...)
v.9 - When the master of the feast had tasted the water that was made wine, and did not know where it came from -but the servants who had drawn the water knew-, the master of the feast called the bridegroom. (.... the water is restored to wine.... the servants know it was not their wine, it was the Lords...)
v.10 - And he said to him, "Every man at the beginning sets out the good wine, and when the guests have well drunk, then the inferior. You have kept the good wine until now!" (.... new wine, a new and better thing....)
v.11 This beginning of signs Jesus did in Cana of Galilee, and manifested His glory..... (His FIRST miracle... establishes what He was here to do, restore our water to wine... restore His church, restore His people....!!!)

and shortly thereafter:
v.13 - Now the Passover of the Jews (passover forshadows the work of Jesus on the cross for us) was at hand (near!) and Jesus went up to Jerusalem (His church).
v.14 - And He found in the temple those who sold oxen and sheep and doves, and the moneychangers doing business.

flashback here:
Isaiah 1
v.22 - Your silver has become dross, your wine mixed with water.
v.23 - Your princes are rebellious, and companions of thieves; everyone loves bribes, and follows after rewards. They do not defend the fatherless, nor does the cause of the widow come before them.
v.24 - Therefore the Lord says, the Lord of hosts, the Mighty One of Israel, "Ah, i will rid Myself of My adversaries, and take vengeance on My enemies. I will turn My hand against you, and thoroughly purge away your dross, and take away all your alloy." (...refining, think silver (coins)...)

Jeremiah 7
v.9 - "Will you steal, murder, commit adultery, swear falsely, burn incense to baal, and walk after other gods whom you do not know,
v.10 - and then come and stand before Me in this house which is called by My name, and say, "We are delivered to do all these abominations'?
v.11 - Has this house, which is called by My name, become a den of theives in your eyes? Behold, I, even I, have seen it," says the Lord.

now, back to Jesus:
John 2
v.15 - When He had made a whip out of cords, He drove them all out of the temple, with the sheep and the oxen, and poured out the changers' money and overturned the tables.
v.16 - And He said to those who sold doves ("selling" peace, like 'works' for salvation!), "Take these things away! Do not make My Father's house a house of merchandise!"
v.17 - Then His disciples remembered that it was written, "Zeal for Your house has eaten Me up,"
v.18 - So the Jews answered and said to Him, "What sign do You show to us, since You do these things?"
v.19 - Jesus answered and said to them, "Destroy this temple, and in three days I will raise it up."
v.20 - Then the Jews said, "It has taken forty-six years to build this temple, and will You raise it up in three days?"
v.21 - But He was speaking of the temple of His body. (physically His body... and spiritually His body - us... He came to restore His church, and raise us up!)

Ezekiel 37
v. 21 - "Then say to them, 'Thus says the Lord God: "Surely I will take the children of Isreal from among the nations, wherever they have gone, and will gether them from every side and bring them into their own land;
v.22 - and i will make them one nation in the land, on the mountains of Israel; and one King shall be King over them all;...
v.23 - They shall not defile themselves anymore with their idols, nor with their detestable things, nor with any of the transgressions; but I will deliver them from all their dwelling places in which they have sinned, and will cleanse them. Then they shall be My people, and I will be their God.
v.24 - David My servant (type of Christ) shall be king over them, and they shall all have one shepherd; they shall also walk in My judgements and observe My statutes, and do them.
V.25 - Then they shall dwell in the land that I have given to Jacob My servant, where your fathers dwelt; and they shall dwell there, they, their children, and their children's children, forever; and My servant David whall be their prince forever.
v.26 - Moreover I will make a covenant of peace with them, and it shall be an everlasting covenant with them; I will establish them, and I will set my sanctuary in their midst forevermore.
v.27 - My tabernacle also shall be with them; indeed I will be their God, and they shall be My people.
v.28 - The nations also will know that I, the Lord, sanctify Isreal, when My sanctuary is in their midst forevermore."'"

Isaiah 1 - first, His people left Him:
v.4 - Alas, sinful nation, a people laden with iniquity, a brood of evildoers, children who are corrupters! They have forsaken the Lord, they have provoked to anger the Holy One of Isreal, they have turned away backward. (...His people...)
v.5 - Why should you be stricken again? You will revolt more and more. The whole head is sick, and the whole heart faints. (...the body of His people was 'sick', decaying, dying)
v.6 - From the sole of the foot, even to the head, there is no soundness in it, but wounds and bruises and putrefying sores; they have not been closed or bound up up, or soothed with ointment.

Jeremiah 7 - the recompense He demanded of us:
v.30 - "For the children of Judah have done evil in My sight," says the Lord. "They have set their abominations in the house which is called by My name, to pollute it.
v.31 - "And they have built the hgh places of Tophet, which is in the Valley of the Son of Hinnom, to burn their sons and their daughters in the fire, which I did not command, nor did it come into My heart.
v.32 - "Therefore behold, the days are coming," says the Lord, "when it will no more be called Tophet, or the Valley of the Son of Hinnom, but the Valley of Slaughter; for they will bury in Tophet until there is no room.
v.33 - "The corpses of this people will be food for the birds of the heaven and for the beasts of the earth. And no one will frighten them away.
v.34 - "Then I will cause to cease from the cities of Judah and from the streets of Jerusalem the voice of mirth and the voice of gladness, the voice of the bridegroom and the voice of the bride. For the land shall be desolate.
8v.1- "At that time," says the Lord, "they shall bring out the bones of the kings of Judah, and the bones of it's princes, and the bones of the priests, and the bones of the prophets, and the bones of the inhabitants of Jerusalem, out of their graves.
v.2 - "They shall spread them before the sun and the moon and all the host of heaven, which they have loved and which they have served and after which they have walked, which they have sought and which they have worshipped. They shall not be gathered nor buried; they shall be like refuse on the face of the earth."

Ezekiel 37 - then...promise of restoration!!!!
v.1 - The hand of the Lord came upon me and brought me out in the Spirit of the Lord, and set me down in the midst of the valley; and it was full of bones.
v.2 - Then He caused me to pass by them all around, and behold, there were very many in the open valley, and indeed they were very dry.
v.3 - And He said to me, "Son of man, can these bones live?" So i answered, "O Lord God, You know."
v.4 - Again He said to me, "Prophesy to these bones, and say to them, 'O dry bones, hear the word of the Lord!'
v.5 - 'Thus says the Lord God to these bones: "Surely I will cause breath to enter into you, and you shall live.
v.6 - "I will put sinews on you and bring flesh upon you, cover you with skin and put breath in you; and you shall live. Then you shall know that I am the Lord."'"
v.7 - So I prophesied as i was commanded; and as i prophesied, there was a noise, and suddenly a rattling; and the bones came together, bone to bone,
v.8 - Indeed, as i looked, the sinews and the flesh came upon them, and the skin covered them over, but there was no breath in them.
v.9 - Also He said to me, "Prophesy to the breath, prophesy, son of man, and say to the breath, 'Thus says the Lord God: "Come from the four winds, O breath, and breathe on these slain, that they may live."'"
v.10 - So i prophesied as He commanded me, and breath came into them, and they lived, and stood upon their feet, an exceedingly great army.
v.11 - Then He said to me, "Son of man, these bones are the whole house of Isreal. They indeed say, 'Our bones are dry, our hope is lost, and we ourselves are cut off!'
v.12 - "Therefore prophesy and say to them, 'Thus says the Lord God: "Behold, O My people, I will open your graves and cause you to come up from your graves, and bring you into the land of Isreal.
v.13 - Then you shall know that I am the Lord, when I have opened your graves, O My people, and brought you up from your graves.
v.14 - "I will put My Spirit in you, and you shall live, and I will place you in your own land. Then you shall know that I, the Lord, have spoken it and performed it," says the Lord.'"

rise up, people! rise up! take your inheritance! we have His Spirit, His breathe, His life... God has restored His temple, He has restored His spiritual nation, now rise up and take the land!!!!!

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

rebellion.... but against what?

'The Man in Black' by Matthew Sheahan - Get Underground Featured Article :
"On his wearing black, Cash wrote the following in his 1997 autobiography Cash:

'I wore black because I liked it. I still do, and wearing it still means something to me. It’s still my symbol of rebellion – against a stagnant status quo, against our hypocritical houses of God, against people whose minds are closed to others’ ideas.'"

i seem to remember having said something similar recently.... it's interesting when you see/read/hear that others have the same notions as you.... it's encouraging to me, thanks God, for bringin' this article with this quote my way.

and now i have to get to sleep. i haven't eaten since 10, it's almost 2, i'm starving but i have a fasting blood test in the morning *bleh*, and instead of sleeping i've been reading about johnny cash's faith... one of these days, i gotta rent that movie! (lol - is it even out on dvd yet? i'm clueless!!! :P )

another good little write up on the man worth a read is Grace of Johnny Cash. cute picture at the end, too... but do read the article before looking at the picture, if you can! (lol)

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

tag you're it!

1. If you make sweet tea, or your favorite style, do you use Luzianne, Lipton or something else? ....uhhhh.... 'sweet tea'? i don't make tea-tea, unless green tea with demerara sugar and some lemon.... i like peppermint tea. and stevia makes a nice sweetener in lieu of demerara, lol!

2. What brand of toilet paper do you buy and is it the larger rolls or regular? ...regular rolls, double rolls make too big of a loop around my hand so it gets used up too quick. i like the presidents choice green recycled... but we use whatever is cheap and doesn't clog the toilet AND doesn't tear easily... we discover that by trial and error, lol.

3. Which brand of bath soap do you use? Body wash or bar? ...i use Val's veggie bar - 100% saponified olive oil, totally fragrance free. yum.

4. What cereal do you buy for yourself? ...grapenuts, multigrain cheerios, natures path multigrain oatmeal flakes.... i used to eat muesli (sp? not the brand muslix), but i can't digest whole grains anymore :(

5. What brand of dishwasher detergent do you use? Liquid or tablets? ..... no dishwasher, i use whatever i can find with the least scent... i'm planning to make my own one day soon.

6. What's your favorite fruit? ...fresh blueberries, nectarines, plums, bananas....

7. Which brand of laundry detergent do you use? ...right now, sunlight sensitive - is unscented, can't use tide free (it's not 'free' enough, lol!)... but again, im planning on making my own soon.

8. Do you like chocolate?.... yeah, but it gives me a toothache like nothing else, so less than usual these days.

9. Are you right or left-handed?.... right, mostly

10. Do you still write checks or use a debit card? this little froggie goes to market, saying ....debbit, debbit....

Monday, September 11, 2006

ChoosingHome Blog » Choosing….what??

ChoosingHome Blog » Choosing….what?? - SWEEEEEEET... this so fits me and not wanting to have to have a perfect house.... yay for footprints on the ceiling!!!!!

natural highs and friendship

from an email i got today:

Natural Highs

1. Falling in love.

2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.

3. A hot shower.

4. No lines at the supermarket

5. A special glance.

6. Getting mail

7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.

8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.

9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.

10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.

11. Chocolate milkshake.. (or vanilla ...or strawberry!)

12. A bubble bath.

13. Giggling.

14. A good conversation.

15. The beach

16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.

17. Laughing at yourself.

19. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.

20. Running through sprinklers.

21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.

22. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.

23. Laughing at an inside joke.

24. Friends.

25. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.

26. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.

27. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).

28. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.

29. Playing with a new puppy.

30. Having someone play with your hair.

31. Sweet dreams.

32. Hot chocolate.

33. Road trips with friends

34. Swinging on swings.

35. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.

36. Making chocolate chip cookies.

37. Having your friends send you homemade cookies

38. Holding hands with someone you care about.

39. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things(good or bad) never change.

40. Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you.

41. Watching the sunrise.

42. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.

43. Knowing that somebody misses you.

44. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.

45. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.

today i got to hang with a friend, go for a drive on a pretty road, and go on a mini road trip - all at once! watched a fire, drove through sunset, ate donuts and a croissant and peppermint tea.... talked about everything under the sun... it was awesome.

being a psalmist

ChoosingHome Blog » Be a Psalmist: Writing as a tool of God’s Healing - kewl.... my favorite part is the last comment: "Be a Psalmist. Write it out. God hears…and heals."

also i like the part about using it as a means to figue out why we're feeling or thinking the way we are... i mean, exploring prayerfully in writing is a cool way of bringing it to God, and laying it at the foot of the cross, y'know?

Sunday, September 10, 2006

mind games.... and a few other thoughts

in my God's Timing post, i worked through a few thoughts i had about .... yeah, God's timing. well i'm glad i had that time of meditation on that and working it out, cuz God was preparing me (and this morning raoul preached on preparing which totally confirmed many things in my mind!) for the mind games the enema tried to play on me tonight.

EXPECTATION - do more, do better, do more, it's not good enough, you have to do more
GUILT - you arent doing enough, bad servant of God!
STUPID - stupid stupid girl with her stupid stupid questions

of course, he wants to 'rain on my parade'. this weekend it's been an awesome time in our church, today was the bestest yet.... and tonight we were given many great ideas for growing in some practical areas.... and me, who takes everything into ME (i try to never think this message is for *other* people, y'know? lol), AND who had very little/bad sleep last night (makes it harder to think!) got all bogged down in it.

of course, what i also got tonight - and all weekend- which the enema wants to steal, is:

ENCOURAGEMENT - when going through the above (love ya, moriah! thanks!)
VISION AND INSPIRATION - but of course, God spoke! lol
CONVICTION and CONFIRMATION on where God wants me/has me....

and one thing i have learned, which helps greatly when it comes to fear of man, for me, is knowing that people are not perfect, the only source of 100% pure food is straight from God. not that that is a criticism of people at all!!!!!!! it's just the knowledge that when we are getting mixed or unclear or misunderstood messages (from people, our own ideas, other sources, the enemy, etc) the answer, the clarity, comes only from the hand of God directly. straight from the Horse's mouth, lol. it is VERY IMPORTANT to seek God directly, KNOWING He speaks to each of us if we SEEK Him (yup yup, good word raoul)..... and that He ordains it for people to not be able to give us the whole of our food, because if we could get it ALL from people we would not seek Him, depend on Him, y'know?

for example, on friday when i went up for prayer, i did *not* get prayed for, i think i was the only one who didn't get prayed for....... and that's totally OK..... becuase God has told me before, on the many, many occasions that i have gone up for prayer and *not* been prayed over, that if i'm not prayed over, it's because what God has to say to me, He can say directly to me. it's been part of His teaching me to lean on Him, not on man. if i'm disappointed because someone didn't pray from me, where is my fountain, my source? in man, or God? but i go up for prayer anyways, becuase i want to be open and willing to hear from Him in any ways He chooses to speak to me. (and someone prayed for me later, lol)

another facet of this is that frequently on sundays, it's like God confirms what He's spoken to me during those times. so for me, feeling "that's pretty much where i'm at right now" during a sunday message does *not* mean i'm contented with the status quo or stopped growing, etc, (i reaaaly dislike such blanket statements!)... it's becuase it's often so much of what God has spoken to me in my heart, it just resonates like it's familiar and comfortable for me already, cuz God's already *just* planted it there, lol! it's totally God's comforting, encouraging CONFIRMATION.

mush, mush, mush, i just WUV my Jesus!!!!!!!! :D :D :D


one last thought: ..... i forgot it. sheesh!

oh, i remember now..... when i think of building bridges, and reaching out to people, i don't think of business people and professionals and doctors and lalala.... that's so far from reality for me it's hilarious. i think of the broken and hurting people on the side of the road, who are so far from the reality of the professionals and business peoples..... a church focussed on reaching professionals and business peoples primarily, in a town with such a mixed demographic like this....?. HA. i don't know about yous all, but a church with color co-ordinated soap and coffee cups seems so extraneous as to be almost repelling to someone like me.... if that is what is important is color co-ordinating soaps with coffee cups when i can hardly afford groceries and bills and gas and my own soap, never mind decorating my house or coordinating my soaps to my hand towels, how am i going to relate to that church? if the local church in a small, depressed economy is focussing it's ministry time to co-ordinating soaps when there are hurting people to heal and drunks needing deliverance and the lonely needing family.... how am i, or them, going to relate to that?

i can't, at this point, sweep all my mess in the corners and tidy up and pretty up my house when i'm having company.... for now, opening my doors and saying welcome to my mess, i love you and sorry it's a mess but i'm opening my doors to you anyways becuase i love you and i'm not going to forsake fellowship for shame of my poor decorating and cleaning skills... that's about where i'm at. so i *SO* can NOT relate to 'prettying up' for guests. not that it's in itself a bad thing, but it's just that hospitality and welcoming and loving is so NOT about externals. we could have the shabbiest church building, that is so filled with love, and then feels like the most beautiful church in the world. yeah, put up some signs so people know which door to go into.... but don't think we need a $1.5 million dollar facility to effectively do the work of God! glitz and wealth can be so.... alienating... to people like me, *if* it seems to be extraneous, unneccesary, or wasteful.

i feel concerned that we do not trade the secondary externals for the more important heart of what it is to be the body of Christ - love, welcome, joy, acceptance, freedom, love, love and more love.

maybe i can't be an appropriately chatty and social greeter at the doors, or concern myself about color co-ordinateding the foyer.... but i can tell hurting hearts that Jesus loves them, that Jesus forgives them, bind up their wounds, break their bonds, speak truth and debunk the lies of the enemy.... so i'm not totally useless, am i? SO THERE, enemy, SO THERE. consider that lie CRUSHED.

Outcast, Adopted.

THIS BLOG IS IN NEED OF AN OVERHAUL. there are posts from years back i would not be able to post in good conscience now. i plan to overhaul the blog, and either delete or add a disclaimer to those posts. but that is gonna take time....

The Radical Summons: "
Therefore let us go to Him outside the camp and bear the reproach He endured. For here we have no lasting city, but we seek the city that is to come." Hebrews 13:13.

"The Spirit never loosens where the Word binds; the Spirit never justifies where the Word condemns; the Spirit never approves where the Word disapproves; the Spirit never blesses where the Word curses." —Thomas Brooks

‎"God receives none but those who are forsaken, restores health to none but those who are sick, gives sight to none but the blind, and life to none but the dead. He does not give saintliness to any but sinners, nor wisdom to any but fools. In short: He has mercy on none but the wretched and gives grace to none but those who are in disgrace. Therefore no arrogant saint, or just or wise man can be material for God, neither can he do the work of God, but he remains confined within his own work and makes of himself a fictitious, ostensible, false, and deceitful saint, that is, a hypocrite." --Martin Luther (W.A. 1.183ff)

i will not let You go: "Jacob's sense of his total debility and utter defeat is now the secret of his power with his friendly Vanquisher. God can overthrow all the prowess of the self-reliant, but He cannot resist the earnest entreaty of the helpless." --Albert Barnes

i will not let You go: "Jacob's determination did not flow from his strength, it flowed from his weakness." --Charles Leiter