Saturday, October 31, 2009

the greatness of God

just listened to an incredible message by Wayne Grudem on 4 of the attributes of God - His power, wisdom, sovereignty, and glory. powerful, and very encouraging. listen to it here.


good question - where am i?

"Where are the young men and women of this generation who will hold their lives cheap, and be faithful even unto death, who will lose their lives for Christ’s, flinging them away for love of him? Where are those who will live dangerously, and be reckless in this service? Where are the men of prayer? Where are the men who count God’s Word of more importance to them than their daily food? Where are the men who, like Moses of old, commune with God face to face as a man speaks with his friend? Where are God’s men in this day of God’s power?"
--Howard Guinness, 'Sacrifice'(1939)
as quoted in John Pipers sermon, 'How the Supremacy of Christ Creates Radical Christian Sacrifice'(2008). incredible message. you want to be challenged? then listen to it!

another incredible quote from the sermon, regarding Hebrews 10:32-35:
"Have you bought into the argument that you're so heavenly-minded you're no earthly good?...this text says the only people who are of any earthly good are those who are so radically heavenly-minded that they are free from this world!!"
--John Piper
and re: Heb 12:2:
"...and thus He became a model for us of how motives work (...) in creating crazy Christians for the glory of the Father."
--John Piper

love it!!!


iCovet v.2

"Worldliness: Resisting the Seduction of a Fallen World" by C.J. Mahaney.


i despise this "holiday"

oh goodie! its 'cast-off-restraint, compromise, and meddle-in-all-things-darkness day'!

can you hear my venom? (note: not against christians who of evil are naive; but against the evil dark that seeks whom it may deceive...)

i don't understand how *christians* can see hallowe'en as innocent fun. *any* form of hallowe'en. no matter how watered down and 'sanitized' a form it is. no matter how 'christianese-laquered' or 'alternate option' it is. what fellowship can light have with dark? *none*.

i understand to a lot of people i have an extreme position. but having been involved in witchcraft and the occult as a teen and young adult, i am HYPER aware of the grievousness-to-God of anything that participates--or compromises--with it.

yes, i am also very anti-harry potter, vampire, etc. it was a youth fiction book on wizards that directly got me interested in the occult - fiction educates, and opens doors that we should never even get near the doorknobs of! call me ignorant and legalistic, fine. i don't care. i'm watching out for my own soul. the darker the evil gets, the brighter i must shine, the closer i must cling to my Jesus, and the tighter i must hold to my beliefs.

no, i'm not handing out candy. if there is someone out there who, as a christian, can hand out candy to the neighbourhood kids and do it in such a way as they are 1)doing it for the glory of God, and 2)not participating or compromising with the darkness, great. i know there are those out there who can do that. i cannot. i see one child dressed in black with zombie or vampire or witch makeup on, and my gut seizes up in disgust and i want to vomit.

no, i'm not letting my porch-light 'shine'. i'm letting my radical not-willing-to-compromise-one-iota-on-this light shine. i'm letting the RADICAL purity and holiness of God reign supreme in my awareness, and shutting the door--and inviting porch light--OFF. selfish? no. seeking purity and obedience to a HOLY God, without compromise? yes.


Friday, October 30, 2009

pastoral visioncasting from C.J. Mahaney

but it gives me vision too! :)

Trinitarian Pastoral Ministry from Sovereign Grace Ministries on Vimeo.


predestined... to hell?

watch an interesting 30 minute video on the doctrine of 'double predestination' here.


all i have is Christ

All I Have Is Christ from Sovereign Grace Ministries on Vimeo.

I once was lost in darkest night
Yet thought I knew the way.
The sin that promised joy and life
Had led me to the grave.
I had no hope that You would own
A rebel to Your will.
And if You had not loved me first
I would refuse You still.

But as I ran my hell-bound race
Indifferent to the cost
You looked upon my helpless state
And led me to the cross.
And I beheld God’s love displayed
You suffered in my place
You bore the wrath reserved for me
Now all I know is grace.

Hallelujah! All I have is Christ
Hallelujah! Jesus is my life

Now, Lord, I would be Yours alone
And live so all might see
The strength to follow Your commands
Could never come from me.
Oh Father, use my ransomed life
In any way You choose.
And let my song forever be
My only boast is You.

© 2008 Sovereign Grace Praise (BMI), by Jordan Kauflin


becoming like Christ


teaching goats to act like sheep

worrying more about the goats being 'there' and letting the sheep starve... not good. bah.

(confession: how many times have i sat on the seats in my gospel-loving, truth-proclaiming church, and thought, "gee, don't couch it for the people who won't hear it anyways... proclaim the truth with as much power and straight-forwardness as it warrants! the Truth of our Glorious God! say it like it really is, already!")

(*runs away and hides*)



Wednesday, October 28, 2009

to the praise of the glory of my 'free' will

"... and I will go as far as Martin Luther, in that strong assertion of his, where he says, 'If any man doth ascribe of salvation, even the very least, to the free will of man, he knoweth nothing of grace, and he hath not learnt Jesus Christ aright.' It may seem a harsh sentiment; but he who in his soul believes that man does of his own free will turn to God, cannot have been taught of God, for that is one of the first principles taught us when God begins with us, that we have neither will nor power, but that He gives both; that He is 'Alpha and Omega' in the salvation of men."
--Charles H. Spurgeon, in 'Free Will-A Slave'.

part 1:

part 2:

part 3:

An Arminian on his knees would pray desperately like a Calvinist. He cannot pray about free-will: there is no room for it. Fancy him praying, "Lord, I thank thee I am not like those poor presumptuous Calvinists. Lord, I was born with a glorious free-will; I was born with power by which I can turn to thee of myself; I have improved my grace. If everybody had done the same with their grace that I have, they might all have been saved. Lord, I know thou dost not make us willing if we are not willing ourselves. Thou givest grace to everybody; some do not improve it, but I do. There are many that will go to hell as much bought with the blood of Christ as I was; they had as much of the Holy Ghost given to them; they had as good a chance, and were as much blessed as I am. It was not thy grace that made us to differ; I know it did a great deal, still I turned the point; I made use of what was given me, and others did not—that is the difference between me and them."
--Charles H. Spurgeon, in 'Free Will-A Slave'.

does this last quote ring any bells? because frankly, i hear it all the time. it's the prevailing sentiment in modern Christendom. whatever happened to Ephesians 2:8-9", For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast."...???


who we are in the world

both carriers of the Light in a dark world, and reflective sources of the Light in a dark world.
both carriers of colour in an ashen world, and the spots of colour themselves in an ashen world.
both carriers of hope to a lost world, and those who *live out* their hope in their own suffering.



Tuesday, October 27, 2009

anxiety vs anxiety

"The beginning of anxiety is the end of faith; and the beginning
of true faith is the end of anxiety."
-- George Müller

this has got me thinking. and i question this quote. why?

there is truth to it. but not total truth...

because this morning as i'm sitting here, typing, reading, musing, waking up, yawning, stretching, in total peace in God's sovereignty and grace...

...i'm having a bit of a panic attack. where adrenalin wants to swamp me, the world is caving in, and my head feels almost detached from my body.

but y'know? those things - while they may be occuring in my physical body - are outside the boat. me and Jesus are in the boat.

does that mean that i never fall out of the boat and am swamped and fearful, and not trusting God? no it doesn't.

but i'm illustrating that it's not necessarily that clear cut, that 'anxiety = lack of faith'.

Jesus Himself had some physical anxiety symptoms going on when He was sweating blood. but had He somehow lost some of His faith and knowledge that He was in the Father's hand? dare i say DUH?! of course not.

i'm not saying we are as solid in our faith as Deity, lol. but who are we to condemn ourselves and accuse ourselves of having walked out of faith just because we are trembling or sweating or our hearts are racing, and our brain is flooding us with images of 'what if what if what if'? those are all facets of the body revving up for survival. guess what... God made our bodies that way.

and i think we do the Creator God an injustice if we do not recognize the difference between bodily, physical anxiety, and the anxiety born of not walking in faith.

see, this morning i could easily feel condemned by that quote, because biochemical anxiety is running rampant in me. but i know i am secure in God's Hand, in His plan, in His grace. and not just know, but *know* in the depths of my being.

am i 'anxious' this morning? yes. ...but i am walking through this biochemical storm, and in a sense, looking at it from outside, above, through the eyes of God.... and going, *pshaw*... what an itty bitty storm in God's equation. and laugh, because i am so utterly safe.

so i let the storm blow itself off, the *what ifs* fall by the wayside, and go forward unconcernedly.... because i am cuddled up safe in the boat with my Jesus.

Lord, may i always stay here with You....


Monday, October 26, 2009

internal idols

"i would only be happy - or, i could finally live life - if only....."

if only i could get my house in order. if only i could get over this *thing* that keeps me from the sink full of dishes. if only i could get on top of this pile of sliding mud, and stay there - finally.

i *cant* do these things. and i think it's partly because i am idolizing those 'states of being'. idolizing the goal of functional 'independance' and total 'ability' to do those things most ppl take for granted doing as a normal part of day to day life.

learning to be content in lack is more than just provisional lack. it's lack of ability and independance. its a lack of any reason to boast in my housekeeping skills. it's lack of feeling useful, even.

comes down to being vs doing.

i think martha shamed mary because she chose to sit instead of do.

how much more unfair would it be if - even while knowing she is at the feet of her Lord - she was being shamed even though she couldn't get up and *do* even if she wanted. if she was -blessedly- stuck at the feet of Jesus - but stuck nonetheless.

how could she forsake the world and sit at Jesus' feet and feel content there - as she should - when every other voice is screaming GET UP!!! JESUS HAS NOW LEFT THE BUILDING! TIME'S UP!!! NOW GET OFF YOUR LAZY A&&!!! ....ignoring that you *would* if you just had legs to stand on...?!

how to be content in that? how to lay down ones own expectations of what they should be able to do? of how they should be able to, once their time at Jesus' feet is 'done', get up and get busy with?

how does one get past the guilt, shame, and condemnation of something they cannot change, in and of themselves... and that the Almighty Sovereign Lord is, for whatver reason, not changing either?

Oh, to forsake this confusing world. i would that i could sit at Jesus feet with *no* concern about these other things i can't take care of. it's the tyranny of the shoulds.


Sunday, October 25, 2009

dance of mahanaim

this is soo beautiful. i file it away in my archives ;) .... but maybe you will be blessed in your marriage now! :)


the whirlwind

yes, the audio is in english. :)

part one:

part two:


Saturday, October 24, 2009

panting after Him....


ten shekels and a shirt - paris reidhead



do you desire God?

God, increase my desire for You.
may i desire You more than the things of the world
increase my hunger for You
give me grace to seek You.
may i desire You more than girl time, fashion chat, and mommy talk
God give me nothing of those, and more of You.
help me separate from worldly desires, and to desire only You.
take away my desire for a mate, for children, for comfort,
and increase my desire for Your Kingdom to come.
fan the flames in my heart, oh God
crush me to a billion pieces if it glorifies you.
forgive me for wanting good things, and not the best
for my good things fall so short of Your best
--and not Your best for me, but Your best for Your glory!!
keep me in Your way, oh God
put my feet on the path of holiness and separation from the world
that my light be muddied by the darkness around me,
but shine brightly and truely before all men
take compromise from my soul
take the care for friendship and the fear of man from me
forgive me for my unfaithfulness
forgive me for my lack of fervor
stir me up oh God
may Your Spirit combust me
and Your fire shine forth as i become nothing
oh God, have mercy on me.....


Friday, October 23, 2009

soften hearts of stone

That blood which Thou hast spilt,
That grace which is Thy own,
Can cleanse the vilest sinner's guilt,
And soften hearts of stone!

Low at Thy feet I bow;
O pity and forgive!
Here will I lie, and wait till Thou,
Shalt bid me rise and live!

--John Newton


when i survey...

i have never seen the second and fourth verses.... why would we ever leave them out? they are incredible truths!!!
WHEN I survey the wondrous cross
On which the Prince of Glory died,
My richest gain I count but loss
And pour contempt on all my pride.

Forbid it, Lord, that I should boast
Save in the death of Christ my God;
All the vain things that charm me most,
I sacrifice them to his blood.

See from his head, his hands, his feet,
Sorrow and love flow, mingled down;
Did e're such love and sorrow meet?
Or thorns compose so rich a crown?

His dying crimson like a robe
Spreads o'er his body on the tree,
Then am I dead to all the globe,
And all the globe is dead to me.

Were the whole realm of Nature mine,
That were a present far too small:
Love so amazing, so divine
Demands my soul, my life, my all.

Isaac Watts




trust Him...

oh God make me mad for You...


the presence and power of God / Song of Songs - paul washer

part one: part two:

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

the lost doctrine


give me grace, focus, and desire for it, God.... help!

audio only.


too heavenly minded?

the accusation: "you can be so heavenly minded that you are no earthly good".


why would i want to be earthly good? i want to be heavenly good! serving the purposes of heaven, not the purposes of earth! serving in the ways and means of heaven, rather than the ways and means of the earth! seeing the kingdom of heaven be manifest and expanded on earth as it is in heaven!!!

why would i want to think the way the earth does? limit my spirituality to what is acceptable by this world's standards? NO! may my head be so in heavenly realms that when i look around me here on earth, all i can see are the plans and purposes of Almighty God!!!

what i fear is to be so earthly minded that i am no heavenly good.


about 10 hours after posting this, i come across this...


Tuesday, October 20, 2009

dead men can't hear you!

another incredible preach, by paul washer.

(audio only)


Monday, October 19, 2009

bellies touch, and he worships...

incredible preach by mark driscoll.


His usual way of working

"Have none of you ever noticed, in your own lives, that whenever God is going to give you an enlargement and bring you out to a larger sphere of service, or a higher platform of spiritual life, you always get thrown down? That is His usual way of working! He makes you hungry before He feeds you! He strips you before He robes you! He makes nothing of you before He makes something of you!" -- Spurgeon (via)


Saturday, October 17, 2009

just my toes is not enough

found a thought provoking quote at another blog...
"This is my endlessly recurrent temptation: to go down to that Sea (I think St. John of the Cross called God a sea) and there neither dive nor swim nor float, but only dabble and splash."
--C. S. Lewis, "A Slip of the Tongue," in The Weight of Glory, page 187.
for me i feel this endless fatigue, like i want so much to get in the water, but can barely get my toe in the water before i collapse, and try to be content with the little when i want so much more....

and i try, over and over, to work up the energy to just slide down into the water, but i only manage to get close enough to dip my toe in the water...

so often i identify with the man at the pool of bethesda...
John 5:2 Now there is in Jerusalem by the Sheep Gate a pool, which is called in Hebrew, Bethesda, having five porches. 3 In these lay a great multitude of sick people, blind, lame, paralyzed, waiting for the moving of the water. 4 For an angel went down at a certain time into the pool and stirred up the water; then whoever stepped in first, after the stirring of the water, was made well of whatever disease he had.

5 Now a certain man was there who had an infirmity thirty-eight years. 6 When Jesus saw him lying there, and knew that he already had been in that condition a long time, He said to him, “Do you want to be made well?”

7 The sick man answered Him, “Sir, I have no man to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up; but while I am coming, another steps down before me.” (nkjv)
instead of blaming the man for not getting into the pool, not trying harder, not believing, or 'failing to recieve' healing, Jesus in His compassion just heals him.

so often people say, lynne, stop identifying with your illness, get going! stop agreeing with the enemy by sitting there, get into that pool!

i can only imagine the hunger in that man after 38 years. 38 years desiring healing. 38 years desiring to do what needs to be done. 38 years of trying and failing. 38 years of it being out of reach of his abilities. 38 years of the promise of healing being so close... yet so far.

Jesus didn't blame the man for not getting into the pool; instead, Jesus brought the 'pool' of healing - Himself - to the man.

He, the One with the power in His very words to create and heal, spoke to the man the ability to get up. the man did not have that ability until Jesus spoke it to him.

i think so often we forget that. God has a timing in store, and holds no blame, impatience, or frustration with us while we are struggling before that time. in our frail state, the only ability we have is what He gives us. to often we are trying to pull up our bootstraps, and then feel condemned because there are no bootstraps to be found!!!

continuing the verse:
8 Jesus said to him, “Rise, take up your bed and walk.” 9 And immediately the man was made well, took up his bed, and walked.
notice the man was made well before he took up his bed. Jesus didn't demand that he take up his bed in order to obtain healing! ...any more, i suspect, than God expects us to do the impossible before He anoints us to do it. any area or facet of life.

Matthew Henry said about this:
"Arise, and walk. God's command, Turn and live; Make ye a new heart; no more supposes power in us without the grace of God, his distinguishing grace, than this command supposed such power in the impotent man: it was by the power of Christ, and he must have all the glory. What a joyful surprise to the poor cripple, to find himself of a sudden so easy, so strong, so able to help himself! The proof of spiritual cure, is our rising and walking."
-- Matthew Henry's Concise Commentary (source) (emphasis mine.)
so here i am, in desperate spiritual hunger, desperate to slide into the water so deeply that i am totally immersed... but barely getting my toes wet.

and i want so much more.


burden = guilt?

"Any concern too small to be a prayer is too small to be a burden." -- Corrie ten Boom

hmm. so why do i always feel so guilty for bringing small things to God in prayer, as tho 'i'm sorry God i feel a burden here, i'll do better and try to manage it, i know it shouldnt be a burden, i'm sorry to bug You..."....?????



Tuesday, October 13, 2009

if you are His, you love the poor. period.

a good challenging word.

Tim Keller: The Gospel and the Poor: A Case for Compassion from Here's Life Inner City on Vimeo.



"The stake is this: True Christians can commit suicide. Or to put it another way: There is nothing unique or peculiar about the final act of life that makes it determinative in validating or nullifying our salvation. Or let me say it another way: The final season of faith with all its battles and failures is not the only season of faith that will bear witness in the Last Day that we were born again. " - John Piper.
(read it in it's full context here.)



one ordinary man following after God...

C. J. Mahaney - Study Video from Together for the Gospel (T4G) on Vimeo.


Wednesday, October 07, 2009


either or, or both. (eh, i can dream can't i?)

yes, two different books, both using the same classic image.

images link to amazon.


Monday, October 05, 2009


re: difficulty and suffering: He designed it that way... so we are like small, tired, weather beaten birds that can do nothing but cling.


Friday, October 02, 2009

the worst kind of nighttime cough

this may be too much information, but i do have a point (aside from whining).

i've discovered the worst kind of nighttime cough to wake up in the middle of the night with:

coughing through the aftereffects of having vomited in your sleep.

the entire upper respiratory tract BURNING.

i felt whiny and ripped off - what with the pain and disrupted sleep and all - until i remembered: this can't have happened 'by accident'. this isn't an 'oops' that slipped by Jesus' notice.

no... i am awake, at 4:05 am, in pain and with a horrid taste in my mouth, because of God's sovereign hand.

meaning it's for my benefit and God's glory.


what *are* You up to in this, Lord...? You awe me.


Outcast, Adopted.

THIS BLOG IS IN NEED OF AN OVERHAUL. there are posts from years back i would not be able to post in good conscience now. i plan to overhaul the blog, and either delete or add a disclaimer to those posts. but that is gonna take time....

The Radical Summons: "
Therefore let us go to Him outside the camp and bear the reproach He endured. For here we have no lasting city, but we seek the city that is to come." Hebrews 13:13.

"The Spirit never loosens where the Word binds; the Spirit never justifies where the Word condemns; the Spirit never approves where the Word disapproves; the Spirit never blesses where the Word curses." —Thomas Brooks

‎"God receives none but those who are forsaken, restores health to none but those who are sick, gives sight to none but the blind, and life to none but the dead. He does not give saintliness to any but sinners, nor wisdom to any but fools. In short: He has mercy on none but the wretched and gives grace to none but those who are in disgrace. Therefore no arrogant saint, or just or wise man can be material for God, neither can he do the work of God, but he remains confined within his own work and makes of himself a fictitious, ostensible, false, and deceitful saint, that is, a hypocrite." --Martin Luther (W.A. 1.183ff)

i will not let You go: "Jacob's sense of his total debility and utter defeat is now the secret of his power with his friendly Vanquisher. God can overthrow all the prowess of the self-reliant, but He cannot resist the earnest entreaty of the helpless." --Albert Barnes

i will not let You go: "Jacob's determination did not flow from his strength, it flowed from his weakness." --Charles Leiter