Monday, April 07, 2008

beep - too much information - beep

as i progress in life, i'm finding more and more that my childhood was difficult. i can't even begin to go into what manner of difficulty i'm talking about. it's too big.

and so i ask God,

"what am i supposed to do with this information?"

swallow it? grieve it? ignore it? -heck no can't do that one. there's no bootstraps to pull up in this one.

gotta walk through it. He will see me through.

it still sucks, though.

one day i'll be able to walk on top of the goo without sinking in to it... but for now, i need hip-waders. and good friends. :) and my support team. and God. :)

i just hate the headaches i've been having.

*******

on a positive note, though, i really enjoyed the wedding this weekend, took over 1000 pictures. gotta love my 4 gig memory stick! 'twas fun tagging along with ruth all day! thanks dahlin'!

ciao!

3 comments:

  1. Girl you will get through it. Psalms 23

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  2. I had issues from my childhood that I've dealt with for many years. It was only a few years ago that I realized that I needed to leave the past behind and just concentrate on living now. The past shaped me to the person I am,and there was nothing I could do to change the past, so my only option was to accept and love the person I am,while not focusing on the past.
    Ummm...make any sense??

    ReplyDelete
  3. it totally makes sense. i've lived my life ignoring my past, and thus not dealing with it. in order to love myself, i need to erase some old messages and re-write them, y'know what i mean? in order to do that, i need to find the messages, discover the lies... and replace them with the Truth, in my heart of hearts, not just my head. so it's all God's work to do. His timing has brought it about at *this* time, not sooner, not later. it's just difficult. thanks jenny, thanks darci. (((hugs)))

    ReplyDelete

Outcast, Adopted.

THIS BLOG IS IN NEED OF AN OVERHAUL. there are posts from years back i would not be able to post in good conscience now. i plan to overhaul the blog, and either delete or add a disclaimer to those posts. but that is gonna take time....

The Radical Summons: "
Therefore let us go to Him outside the camp and bear the reproach He endured. For here we have no lasting city, but we seek the city that is to come." Hebrews 13:13.

"The Spirit never loosens where the Word binds; the Spirit never justifies where the Word condemns; the Spirit never approves where the Word disapproves; the Spirit never blesses where the Word curses." —Thomas Brooks

‎"God receives none but those who are forsaken, restores health to none but those who are sick, gives sight to none but the blind, and life to none but the dead. He does not give saintliness to any but sinners, nor wisdom to any but fools. In short: He has mercy on none but the wretched and gives grace to none but those who are in disgrace. Therefore no arrogant saint, or just or wise man can be material for God, neither can he do the work of God, but he remains confined within his own work and makes of himself a fictitious, ostensible, false, and deceitful saint, that is, a hypocrite." --Martin Luther (W.A. 1.183ff)

i will not let You go: "Jacob's sense of his total debility and utter defeat is now the secret of his power with his friendly Vanquisher. God can overthrow all the prowess of the self-reliant, but He cannot resist the earnest entreaty of the helpless." --Albert Barnes

i will not let You go: "Jacob's determination did not flow from his strength, it flowed from his weakness." --Charles Leiter