arcane inanity

so i started this blog off with a little bit of uber-poetic ..... mush. but hey, that's ok, right? exploratory expression is just one part of finding out who God made me to be.

since i chose to make my profile private (it has nothing in it anyways, except that stupid little zodiac sign thing - so not being able to get rid of that, i got rid of my profile instead! :P ) i thought i'd share a little about myself. in a vauge yet personal way.

i am a songwriter. i write the songs that God gives me. i call them my God-songs. cuz they ain't My-songs!!!!! i have a vision that one day i will have the opportunity to share them with more people, people around the world, so that the words God has given may minister to them if He brings the song into their possession. i have no aim for fame, i cringe at it, actually (seeing as how i'm a rather private person!) and would rather see them go anonymously (so long as no one else takes them and claims them as their own - they are GOD'S songs.) thing is, i can sing, but my voice is hoarse and my lungs are weak. i can play guitar, but only enough to write with, not enough to be able to perform. and i can play piano well enough i suppose... but just haven't used it much. and conservatory piano is one thing, worship piano is quite another.

i am an artist. i see visions in my head and want to get them out of me so much that it hurts, but.... i can't. practical reasons... asthma, dust, inks, chemicals, achey hands, i sit too much at the computer already than to sit some more to do art. but mostly those are excuses - it's really becuase there is so much pain and vulnerability when you are an artist, and i am not yet at the place where i can express visually without pain. i can't discuss this anymore right now. :P

i am a writer. i like to write and express my thoughts, feelings, and relationship with God. i like to encourage others. i like to write what i hear God saying, and what He shows me.

and finally, i am God's possession. i am His, 100%, completely. sold out to Him. do i try to take possession of myself? you bet. i'm not perfect. but when a righteous man stumbles, 7 times to boot (ie over and over again, totally, completely falls), he GETS UP AGAIN. and that's what i aim to do my whole life. to have no agenda but Jesus.

hmm, i think i'll change the name of my blog to that: No Agenda But Jesus. that's my goal, that's my aim, that's the target for me and a huge part of the purpose of this blog. to encourage myself, and others, to have no agenda but Jesus.

amen.