Valleys

i am in a valley right now. i am feeling so overwhelmed by life in general.

i have often glibly said in the past that when we are feeling overwhelmed it is because we are not walking in His strength, but our own. i do believe that's true. but right now i feel like i don't know where i'm walking in my strength, and thus what to hand over to Him.

what i am encouraged by, tho, is that when we are in the valley, that is where the river flows. that is where we can tap into the life giving flow. 'if the blessing's in the valley... then in the river i will wait'.....

if there were no sorrow, we would not understand joy.
if there were no suffering, we would not understand mercy.
if there were no sin, we would not understand grace.
if there were no failure, we would not understand success.
if there were no evil, we would not understand love.
etc....

i read something similar to that once, i don't know where, but it's something that's stuck with me for a long time. i think the last one i listed is God's whole reason for allowing humanity to fall. how could we understand the love that God IS without having experienced sin, pain, and death? if we were perfect in the garden, the one thing we still lacked was perspective on God the Creator - that we are mere creations.

some people have difficulty with this. i don't.

i realize that even tho i'm a mere creation, i am the shulamite bride, He is my Beloved. He treasures me more than anything. that is totally humbling, but also totally relieving.

i am a worm, as filthy rags, the scum of the earth... but instead of considering me (and rightly so!) as such, no... i am the apple of His eye.

and oh, that makes me feel loved.