Thursday, February 15, 2007

9 am captivation

9 a.m.

8+ hours sleep, yet slept through the radio alarm for an hour and a half. half asleep, yet fully in dreamland, i'm listening to cbc radio talk about hospitals dealing with the issue of C-difficile bacteria, how they deal with it janitorially, and i'm seeing it in full living color..... janitors sweeping strong industrial bleach across floors in blue jackets, tiles crumbling if the solution is too strong.... and feeling mildly appalled that they still only bleach a couple times a day!.......

the phone rings, and i swing out my heavy lead arm, and overshoot the phone and whack my hand on the book... my mouth is dry, my chest is tight, throat is raw, the light is too bright. i feel nauseous, from hunger, but probably also the thought of all those chemicals! when i get the phone to my head, my voice croaks when i say hello, and my tongue doesn't want to shape the words.

my dear friend, calling to ask me to pray for her son who is sick today.

so i do. dry tongue and all. (talk about being instant in season and out!?!) ....when i finish it seemed a bit short, but i had no more words, so it was done.

(grace for my dry tongue?!)

and my friend says, 'you know one of the things i love about you, lynne? is we can always talk about God. it's like you never get tired of talking about Him, and that's so cool'.....

....never get tired of talking about Him....

i never do. it's the way it should be... He is the captivator of our hearts, the One who makes life worth living. He is EVERYTHING.

it's so interesting to me that it stands out as a character trait in a christian.... as tho it's unusual. as tho most people treat Him as one of many possible conversation topics. as tho our awareness of His presence and sovereignty and dealings in our life can be turned on or off as we choose.

i think it's really sad. and i think God thinks its really sad. the limited degree to which i feel grieved in my spirit about it must be amplified greatly in God's heart!

thank You for captivating my heart, Lord, for captivating my mind. You are captivating!
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Outcast, Adopted.

THIS BLOG IS IN NEED OF AN OVERHAUL. there are posts from years back i would not be able to post in good conscience now. i plan to overhaul the blog, and either delete or add a disclaimer to those posts. but that is gonna take time....

The Radical Summons: "Therefore let us go to Him outside the camp and bear the reproach He endured. For here we have no lasting city, but we seek the city that is to come." Hebrews 13:13.

"The Spirit never loosens where the Word binds; the Spirit never justifies where the Word condemns; the Spirit never approves where the Word disapproves; the Spirit never blesses where the Word curses." —Thomas Brooks

‎"God receives none but those who are forsaken, restores health to none but those who are sick, gives sight to none but the blind, and life to none but the dead. He does not give saintliness to any but sinners, nor wisdom to any but fools. In short: He has mercy on none but the wretched and gives grace to none but those who are in disgrace. Therefore no arrogant saint, or just or wise man can be material for God, neither can he do the work of God, but he remains confined within his own work and makes of himself a fictitious, ostensible, false, and deceitful saint, that is, a hypocrite." --Martin Luther (W.A. 1.183ff)

i will not let You go: "Jacob's sense of his total debility and utter defeat is now the secret of his power with his friendly Vanquisher. God can overthrow all the prowess of the self-reliant, but He cannot resist the earnest entreaty of the helpless." --Albert Barnes

i will not let You go: "Jacob's determination did not flow from his strength, it flowed from his weakness." --Charles Leiter