to write love on her arms...

an incredible movement, reaching out to hurting people. the video is a bit slow at the start, but well worth the watch and listen.... but turn up your volume, it's a little quiet... the text of the story he starts reading partway through, then the girl takes over reading, is found here, under 'the story'.



i like how it's not blatantly 'christian', but their core message is 'rescue is possible, that freedom is possible, that God is still in the business of redemption,'... and that it's about 'the body of Christ coming alive to meet her needs, to write love on her arms.' .... beautiful...!... its not about conversion, it's about giving hope...

more from the girl, renee:


doing the work of the kingdom. broken people coming alongside other broken people.

....reminds me a lot of the video we watched in cell last week, about the book 'unchristian' we are beginning to study at church.

the third annual to write love on her arms day is dec. 3. participate by writing the word love on your arms.... check out some of the moving photos.

to write love on her arms
on facebook

post secret

moving....

PostSecret: A Lifetime of Secrets


(this one has a brief comment re: sexuality):
PostSecret Mini-Movie

plane landing

whoa.... from where i live i often see the planes turning in to make a landing at the airport.... i just saw one coming in, pretty low, it seemed to be turning really sharply, and even a bit like it was being..... blown?.... to one side...... but there was no wind to speak of. the trees were completely calm, not a branch was swaying in the least....

so i forgot about it and went back to what i was doing.

... but only a minute or so later i hear this *noise*.... it was the wind! it was - and still is - blowing really hard, some gusts sound like it could take a part of the roof off, the trees leaning at 45 degree angles, rotting leaves blowing up in front of the second story window..... WEIRD!!!!!

i sure hope the plane is ok!!!! that must a been the worst turbulence i can imagine, i hope the people weren't too scared... i've heard no explosion or sirens or anything so i can only suppose that the plane either landed safely or is going to land at a different airport (as often happens here).... whoa.

its funny, weird funny.... often, when i see a plane coming in for a landing, i almost grit my teeth, flinch, and listen and wait.... and am relieved when i hear no *boom*. today this is the freakiest of them yet!!!!!!

weird. i mean, it was DEAD CALM..... and suddenly WHOOSH!!!!!! lols

normally i *love* the wind, but right now the wind seems freaky..... *shivers*

friends

hmmm.... moving.

oh how fast one can eat their words....

in my last post, almost 24 hours ago, i said, "so far i can still sit up at the computer for short periods of time, in between rests...."

..... HA. that was the LAST time i sat up to do anything until right now.... and i'm petering fast.

but while my body says GO...LAY...DOWN..., my brain is so bored it says WAIT, JUST ONE POST!!!! lol....

so, for the last 24 hours, i had incredible body pain, fever spikes, chills, shaking, sweating, nausea, heart pumping 120 bpm (at rest)... on top of my continuing gut problems!!!.... maybe a flu on top of whatever is bugging my gut???

.... i've had a few times i thought i just might be dying..... i thought, gee, have i got sepsis (from my gut infection)? should i go to the hospital?.... (gee, now looking at the symptoms of sepsis, maybe my concern wasn't too far off...!!)

...but nobody else seemed real concerned - take two tylenol, keep up your fluids, get lots of rest.

so i stuck it out.....and i'm feeling less like i'm dying right now, lol.... still have a fever, but its down a bit (37.5C instead of the 38.7C it was last night...) ... continuing prayer would be great tho... i still feel pretty dang SICK..... *sighs* .....

but my brain's finally kicked in to *i can think again!* mode!!!!.... i remembered the *lovely* pork roast i made in the slow cooker on thursday, with baby potatoes.... turned out sooo delicious... and now it's sitting in the fridge waiting to be eaten, and I CAN'T EAT!!!!!! lol..... flat and dilute ginger-ale is what i'm subsisting off of right now.... so i finally dragged the phone to my ear, wearily dialed, and managed to query some friends as to whether they'd like to adopt said lovely pork roast.... they'll get back to me.

... it was well cooked, promptly refridgerated, and will be safe to use until sunday evening.... if any one is interested in picking it up, give me a call, and if my friends don't want it, it's yours....

but i wouldn't be suprised if no one wanted food from sick-girls house, lol~!!!

and now i'm feeling on the verge of falling over, so it's back to bed for me. ciao!

ugh, i need prayer

i am feeling so sick again... painful cramping, running to the washroom... feeling overall sick....

...pray for me, please! :'(

i hope it doesn't get worse, but it has been a downward trend since i finished the antibiotics (yes, i took *all* of them).... so far i can still sit up at the computer for short periods of time, in between rests... but the cramping hurts! sometimes it feels like there's glass shards going through my intestines..... waaaaahhhhh....... :'(

... i miss my mommy.... :'(

i feel too crappy to go look for a lolcat to post with this.... consider the cdc cat one still in effect.

creepily accurate!!!

When inspired, you can get enough ideas running through your head to keep you busy for hours. Your hobbies are sometimes a little different from other people's because you can't express yourself in the same ways everyone else does.

Our Potentially Ridiculous Hobby Suggestion For You: Journal making Make journals! Get old newspapers to make your own recycled paper, design nifty covers out of? something? then bind it all together.

Your scores: Creative 20.4 Motivated 18.9 Resourceful 18.29 Focused 16.31 Serious 16.22

ok, thats too incredibly creepy bang on... i love book binding, i love making my own journals, i've even wanted to make my own paper for those journals..... creepy!!!!

my rainbow

Your rainbow is shaded orange.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What is says about you: You are a strong person. You appreciate a challenge. Others are amazed at how you don't give up.

Find the colors of your rainbow at spacefem.com.

here am i

get out the tissues...

yummy bits of health news

yummy...*hack*..... i had to do another test again today... yes, one of *those* ones... where you collect samples in little vials..... *gag* ... yummy.

it actually went ok, with no gagging, lol. ... the doc wants to check and see exactly what it is before putting me on more antibiotics or anything... yeah, i hoped this was done, but it doesn't seem to be...

the 10 days of antibiotics helped considerably, but when i finished the last dose monday morning, i was like.... hmmm. i don't feel totally well. maybe i should make a follow up appointment.... and i'm sure glad i did. i went to the doc today, feeling absolutely sick. the trots are definitely pickin' up speed again, *sighs*.

spent a couple hours in bed afterward.... did the test.... a friend is going to drop it off for me (thank You, Lord!!!)).... at this moment, i don't feel too bad, a bit crampy... better than they were earlier, probably cuz i took some more anti-cramp meds when i got home.... and that dastardly immodium... bleh.

i know one of the tests on the form was testing for c. difficile.... frequently picked up in hospitals (and i was in hosp, yay)... and hard to get rid of. check, and check. *sighs*

new music

ok, i am in love with the new cbc radio2 internet stream.... canadian songwriters. mellow, folky, and full of maple syrup! check it out, i love it. i've been playing it constantly for two days. don't think i've heard the same song twice! :D

an engineers guide to cats

oh my, this is too funny... not a roflmao funny, but an engaging, haaa!!! that's so cute!!!! kind of funny..... gotta love it.

An Engineer s Guide to Cats @ Yahoo! Video

recycling ingenuity

haaaaaa... i love it!

foodstuffs

stuff about food.... the new obsession in my life! ;)

no, not really... just since being sick i am more aware of eating/not eating, being hungry, things 'sitting' or 'not sitting'.... and trying to consciously eat regularly, and COOK....

btw, have i mentioned i LOVE my cast iron pan? i use it for almost everything, although its a wee small for some things, for example the dish of fried bean sprouts i made for dinner... could hardly mix it around the pan was so full... it's a 10-inch pan, i really need a 12-inch one.... cast iron is so awesome because it is NON-STICK - without the dreaded flaking teflon... and once well seasoned, a teaspoon of oil or so is good for cooking just about everything!

yes, i love fried bean sprouts... i went for a walk today and wound up grabbing some veggies at the wholesale store, the bean sprouts were a great price and fresh!.... YUM, i want THAT for dinner tonight! ... so i put in the pan about a quarter of an onion, finely chopped, some sunflower seeds, garlic powder, fresh ground black pepper, garam masala, a dash of salt.... fried that up, then added the bean sprouts.... stirred, stirred, then added a bit more garam masala and garlic.... sauteed until translucent, and gobbled it up. SO GOOD! .... and from the pan scrapings i've got a lovely asian-style soup broth for din-din tomorrow!!!!!

i'm going to try for this:

BREKKIE like a PRINCE .......ie, a solid, hearty breakfast - protein, dairy, fat, complex carbs, kick start the metabolism, but a bit lighter than lunch... about 9 am.

LUNCH like a KING ...............ie, the heaviest meal of the day - meats, 'dinner' dishes... 1-2 pm.

DINNER like a PAUPER ........ie, a light dinner, lots of soups and veggie dishes... about 6 pm.

drinking lots of very dilute fruit juice, avoiding crappy carbs, trying to avoid coffee since i got off of it when i was sick...

one thing i have a difficult time with is raw veggies.... so i really want to find one of those fold-out pot steamer rack thingys... those ones that fold out like flower petals? handy dandy, preserve the nutrients but make it easier to digest.....

thanks, RUTH, for getting me hooked on brocolli and asparagus!!!!! it's all your fault, lol. started a good trend in my life!

have your pet spayed or neutered

i crack up every time i look at this....

God of Wonders

my favorite version of this song... from the 'city on a hill' cd...

addicted to blogging?

75%How Addicted to Blogging Are You?

Created by OnePlusYou

synesthesia?

67%

Created by OnePlusYou

i've always wondered about this....

lolly pop, lolly pop

oh, lolly, lolly pop!



made on the scribbler.

starshine

tonights why-i'm-not-in-bed-yet:











made first on the scribbler, then processed in picnik.

The Scribbler

found a cool online app for drawing.... The Scribbler. you have to check it out if you have any artistic bent at all - even if you can't draw a straight line. it takes your very basic line drawing and fills it in according to some algorithm or some such (what do i know except that it comes out real cool!)... and you can tweak the settings. the only problem i have with it is it puts a memory drain on your browser, so it eventually stops working... but until then, it's a blast!



now i *really* wish i had a stylus/pad to plug in for this.... i don't have much control of my touch pad on the laptop, so the lines on this pic are kinda not where i'd like them... but 'uneven' so, it looks cool, lol!

dinner adventures: pork chops in applesauce

here is my recipe tonight: in shallow baking dish i added oh, i dunno, a cup or so of apple sauce, some soy sauce, garlic powder, onion powder, basil, oregano, salt, pepper.... stirred it up, then dropped two pork chops in it, covered them, added a bit of parmesan on top, and stuck them in a 350-deg oven.... put the timer on for an hour. turned them over at the 40 minute point, recovered them with the applesauce and some more parmesan... and they are simmering away. looks and smells good so far. but we'll see... i almost never follow a recipe - i wing it as i go.

to accompany these num-nums, i got rice, chopped brocolli, chopped asparagus, and various seasonings in a pot - half a pack of seasoning from instant beef noodles (reduce, reuse, recycle! lol), garlic powder, onion powder, salt, oregano, basil, curry... *sniffs* - smells good.

RESULTS:

pork chops: tender, moist, yummy. i just wish i liked the taste of pork, lol! of course, i forgot to take a pic until i'd already eaten one of them!


Soup: served with parmesan cheese. uber yummy, and suber healthy, lol!

my 10,000 Villages adventure

so, i slogged it to 10,000 villages. my feet got wet, but not where the heels are open-backed, they got wet in the toes, just from the slush-spray and splashing.

at the sale, i roamed around for a good hour, utterly overwhelmed.... too many people, too much noise, too many things to look at, too much money...

...the *one* item i would have gotten for myself if money were no object was an orange/green/cream (sooo my colors!) onyx (which i love) vase/candle holder... which was, i think, $65 or so. waaayyy over budget. but it was the one thing i really drooled over.

finally, i sat down with a cup of fair-trade ethiopian joe (thanks, lisa), and pulled myself together. why, when i gave myself a budget, and permission to buy myself something, was it so hard to choose something? everything i even remotely liked was written off in my head and 'unnecessary' or 'extraneous' or 'that money would be better spent on food' or whatever. it's like i was not allowed to get something nice for myself... i had an extra $20 come to hand, a gift from God right there, to do something 'extra'.... so why is it so hard????

eventually i had an epiphany, and got up and went roaming for baskets. nice baskets to put things in around the house are one of those things i've wanted to invest in for a long time, but are too expensive in the stores usually; they are functional *yet* feel like a luxury of sorts.... and i found some i really liked:




i *did* go over budget by $3.44, but this with a purchase that satisfied both my functional and practical side (and has been on my shopping list for quite some time), *and* was a total treat, leaving me feeling spoiled.

on my way home, the snow had turned to rain, and the wind had picked up and blew my already-broken umbrella totally inside out, so i couldn't use it, and thus got really wet. so i'm off to see if i can fix my purdy umbrelly.... darn wind! (i love it!) lol

my clodhoppers are hiding

where, oh where, have my clodhoppers gone...
where, oh where can they be?

*sighs*.... theres so much slush out there (i am not complaining, i love this weather like i do any other of God's weather simply because it *is* God's weather, so i think it's beautiful despite it's difficulties)... and i cannot find my clodhoppers....

... my great big size 11 purple snowmobile style boots. clunk clunk clunk.

and they are really what i need for today. my only other options are:

1. my faux-fur lined clogs - keeps the toes warm, and thick soles lift me up above some slush levels... but has an open heel, so no guarantees of staying dry... or,

2. my horrid 10-or-so-year-old extra-extra-wide $120 Toe Warmers velcro-flap boots, that are *not* warm, and outright leak.

and that's it.

why am i lamenting on my footwear woes? because 1. it's slushy out, and 2. i'm trying to get myself to walk to the once a year extravaganza 10,000 villages sale. to get my trinket, to say i've been there, get what will probably be my one christmas present to myself, and support a good cause.

i guess i'll go with the 'no guarantees of staying dry' footwear, over the 'outright leaky' boots. least there's some hope! lol

picnik - a fun tool

check out Picnik... a cool - free! - web app for being creative with your photos... or just plain editing them. here's some fun stuff i did with one of my favorite recent photos of me.

the original

tweak n edit, then a filter (i forget which)...

then, the 60s filter...

then, the olga filter (yes, all one on top of the other...)

finally, the snow filter.

by then time i was done, i was hooked, and signed up for a free account. but you can try it without signing up at all!!!!

yall from the city?

oh gosh i've been hungry today!

after weeks of next to no nutrition, it seems my body is screaming for sustenance. tim mentioned chicken at cell last night, so i got gutsy and took out some to thaw when i got home last night...

so, today i ate, with increasing momentum:

breakfast: i think a banana. hot fruit juice. (morning's a bit foggy for me, lol)

lunch: i think it was an ensure.... and hot fruit juice (may be my new 'coffee'!)

snack1: instant rice with garlic and melted peanut butter (yumm...). hot fruit juice.

dinner: two roast chicken drumsticks in my own marinate/cooking sauce, and broccoli/asparagus/(regular) rice soup. prolly some juice.

dinner2: grilled peanut butter and banana sandwich. prolly some juice.

dessert: ensure.

snack2: noodles. fruit juice.

snack3: leftover soup with the meat from 3 drumsticks (which was tomorrow's lunch!)

... and now i finally feel like i've eaten, lol!

ok, i am NOT - i repeat NOT - going to be eating like this every day... are you kidding? i don't want to gain the weight i've so unhealthily lost while i've been sick, lol. i will definitely be replacing the white starchy crap i've been living off of with the multigrain etc varieties that i usually go for.... but not too fast. don't want to shock my system.... so i hope to be off the starchy stuff in about a week....

...today is the first day i had *regular* rice instead of instant, so that's an upward trend... when i run out of that, i'll replace it with brown rice. same with the noodles... you can use whole wheat/grain spaghettini in place of noodles in many dishes... etc, etc, etc.

one thing i think i *will* keep is bread (whole wheat or multigrain of course)... you can't exactly grill a peanut butter and banana sandwich with a tortilla wrap.... well i guess you could, but you know what i mean!!!!... besides, i love baking bread, it would give me an excuse to do that, fortified and nutrified with onions or milk or herbs etc as i please.... and no preservatives. yum!

so YAY, it seems i can eat again without much (i hope!) gastric distress to follow (we shall see how the night fares...) so far today, i've had hardly any cramping. ...every day, better and better! thank You, Lord, for antibiotics! lol

btw, i'm gonna see if i can squeak ball class into my finances... if so, i'll start next week. i hope. i plan to. i will, darn it! so far as i can tell. ha....

now, must go to bed. g'nite, all.

say hello to insectosaurus!

time to go shopping!

seeing as how i think best when blogging, and how it was payday for me today, i want to make up a shopping list of things to buy/pay/do this month.

1. first and foremost: tithe;
2. get the book "Unchristian" (so i can participate in the church study);
3. *maybe* get a trinket from 10,000 Villages (just so i can say i went this year, lol);
4. pay bills;
5. buy groceries and necessities;
6. get a 2009 bus pass (so it comes in before 2009, lol);
7. *hopefully* pitch some cash toward the sound board for all those sunday cds;
8. [insert whatever i'm forgetting]....

... all this with $600, for the next 4 weeks. FUN.


now, to be simply boring, a list of necessaries, with estimated cost:

toothpaste - $7 (Jason Healthy Mouth Tea Tree & Cinnamon - i'm fussy! lol);
4x big packs of TP - $25 (one for each week);
big jug laundry soap - $16 (Nature Clean - having allergies/asthma ain't cheap);
tea tree oil - $7 (for my "shampoo" - which is actually my laundry liquid, diluted, lol);
dishwasher powder -$10? (Seventh Generation);

5x $50 grocery gift cards $250 (one for each week, and one for unexpecteds);


...oh my gosh, for a second i almost fell over cuz i thought, 'gee, i just might actually have enough money for this month!'.... then remembered the chunk going out for bills. aw, gee.....


...... and Christmas shopping? ....what's that? ....is there really such a thing?


....Lord, good thing You are the God of the IMPOSSIBLE!!!!!!!!


haha, one more list: a wishlist. cuz God is the God of the impossible!

good waterproof winter boots that aren't clodhoppers.
a tub of old fashioned vanilla ice cream, made with real cream.
jeans that don't fall off.
another 100% cotton or wool blanket/quilt for winter.
a raincoat/waterproof jacket.
pink hair dye.
cable tv for the winter.
a blender for smoothies.
a pedi-foot treatment of some kind, cuz my feet cling to the carpet like velcro!
and.....
a running, insured car with gas pre-paid for the winter (ha! lol)

gettin' all prophetic today!

The day in review, as i sit down to a glass of hot juice...


[boiling water, one heaping tablespoon of your choice of 100% fruit juice frozen concentrate, and for an extra special dab, a teaspoon or so of vanilla ice cream (gotta splurge as the gut allows! and i *am* feeling a bit better, gotta celebrate! lol).... YUM!!!!]

anyhoo.

1. first off, a weird one for ya: i was getting ready to go to prayer, so i get in the shower... and the phone starts ringing. and ringing. and ringing. and i *listen*, to see, cuz sometimes i know the ceiling fan fools me, but no, that was *definately* the phone, the exact interval between rings, the exact ring. off an on, the whole time i'm in the shower, the phone rang. grr.

... i get out, the phone is silent again. i look on the handset to see who called, and it was nobody. i mean *nobody*. there was not one single missed call. *shakes fist at ceiling fan*

2. I MADE IT TO PRAYER!!!! whoo! (after two missed sundays and at least one missed cell group, i been feeling *really* out of the loop, and just utterly desperate for the presence of God and God's peeps....)

anyways, God has already been, the last couple days, speaking to me about victory in this battle, how He will break the arm of the oppressor, etc (that may be a mix of verses in my head, lol)...

then tonight, mark and tim spoke over me about the Spirit coming up from withing me like the Lion of the Tribe of Judah, and warring, warring, warring.....

...and usko shared isaiah 41:10-16

10Fear not, for I am with you;
Be not dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you,
Yes, I will help you,
I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.'

11"Behold, all those who were incensed against you
Shall be ashamed and disgraced;
They shall be as nothing,
And those who strive with you shall perish.
12You shall seek them and not find them
Those who contended with you.
Those who war against you
Shall be as nothing,
As a nonexistent thing.

13For I, the LORD your God, will hold your right hand,
Saying to you, "Fear not, I will help you.'
14"Fear not, you worm Jacob,
You men of Israel!
I will help you," says the LORD
And your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel.

15"Behold, I will make you into a new threshing sledge with sharp teeth;
You shall thresh the mountains and beat them small,
And make the hills like chaff.
16You shall winnow them, the wind shall carry them away,
And the whirlwind shall scatter them;
You shall rejoice in the LORD,
And glory in the Holy One of Israel.

the Lord wars on my behalf. ooh, yeah....

3. and then, on the way home, I HAD A THOUGHT - (oh-oh! lol) - one of those brain farts that you know is illogical and basically from the pit of hell to discourage you - if you believe it - and, as i'm getting more open about my brain these days, i shared it with tanya, as one of those humorous everyday anecdotes of the daily battle of the mind....

....and tan gets all blustery and blurts out, "that's like so from the devil, man, that's a lie, it's so from hell, don't listen to that! don't even think it!"

....then she suddenly cups her hand over her mouth, eyes wide, and says, "what did i just say?! *where* did that come from!?" oooooh, i howled. *yeah, yeah, my sista gettin all prophetic fiery on me!!! boooh yeah!*

....girl, God's gonna open your mouth more and more, and as you submit it to Him, He is gonna purify what comes out of it (no more inadvertant *ahems* with the customers, lol!), and you are gonna walk in confidence in it, in Him, and proclaim His Word! whoooooooooo!

*inside happy dance*

SO.....what description comes to my mind about today?

it was a RAD day. simply RAD, man. whoo.

and when i got home i had this song in my head:

when i grows up

you should have known better

for some reason, the last two picture posts just make me nauseous. go figure.

one of the side effects of laying in bed most of the day, awake or mostly-awake, is a lot of inside stuff comes up.... thoughts, memories, whatever.

one that hit me today, and made my blood boil thinking about it, was, "you should have known better!"

hearing, as child, frequently, "you should have known better", instills a hyper-vigilance to scan and gather all the information you could possibly need so you don't hear those dreaded words again. ...and yet you inevitably do. so you try harder to gather all the information you could possibly need so next time, you *will* have known better....

but there is never any positive feedback for getting it right, you only hear anything about your information gathering skills when "you should have known better".... so you think you *can* know better, *should* know better, and *must* know better.

because obviously that's what you should be able to do, what you are expected to do, and the only reason there can be that you *aren't* knowing better is that you aren't doing your job when it comes to information gathering and learning all you need to know so that next time, you *will*.... but you don't. its a bottomless pit. an endless cycle.

i still fight it. daily.

who the hell ever said God made me to be psychic? to know all i ever have to know in every circumstance? what am i supposed to be, omniscient? ....God Himself? hello. we are talking about a *CHILD* here. not even an educated, intelligent adult could live up to those expectations. who would *dare* put those onto a child?!?!?!

thanks alot.

i can't even write anymore about this right now.

***

i can relate to the bull in this video. red eyes and lust for blood. (it's the visual image i relate to, not the story - the story is humourous, and that i definately don't feel right now.)



*****

read this later on, and it ministered, so thought i'd add it.

Psalm 10

12 Arise, O LORD!
O God, lift up Your hand!
Do not forget the humble.
13 Why do the wicked renounce God?
He has said in his heart,
"You will not require an account."
14 But You have seen, for You observe trouble and grief,
To repay it by Your hand.
The helpless commits himself to You;
You are the helper of the fatherless.
15 Break the arm of the wicked and the evil man;
Seek out his wickedness until You find none.
16 The LORD is King forever and ever;
The nations have perished out of His land.
17 LORD, You have heard the desire of the humble;
You will prepare their heart;
You will cause Your ear to hear,
18 To do justice to the fatherless and the oppressed,
That the man of the earth may oppress no more.
(NKJV)

hug

ay capshunned a piktur!!!

i'm such a bore

all i ever talk about is..... yeah.

a now, a prompt diversion from said topic:

up to a 9% win ratio thanks to two wins in a row tonight.



i think i'm getting good at this game. *pats shoulder*

now, back on topic.

got my immodium tonight, thanks to a dear friend. *and* a wholesale pack of mr. noodles! *and* minute rice! ....all this refined white starch i never buy is now my staple.....

... and i will not try another tuna sandwich for at least another week!!! that was disastrous last night. today i tried peanut butter on bread with a bit of apricot jam.... i think it was too much, too.

thing is, i need protein in my diet, and i ain't getting much of it, at all. not sure what to do there. i want to have some muscles left when i get better.

hey, this actually sounds good.... some minute rice with a teaspoon or so of peanut butter melted in.... protein, diluted. and garlic powder.... mmm. maybe that won't cause a ruckus down there.....

wellness update

*gasp* i am so deprived of human contact... give me some luvs, peeps!

anyways, i phoned the doc office today to see what i should do next, seein' as how the trots have me running faster than ever.... they said, can you come in now? ok, i had a ride, so i did.

"hi, i'm here, but first where's the bathroom?"

finally settled in in the winnie-the-pooh-room (love that irony!), my doc said there was no specific diagnosis of parasites from the test results, but that *crystals* were seen that indicate the presence of something.... gee, crystals? pretty sparklies in my pooh? wish i'd seen that. i've seen nothing pretty or sparkly in it, at all! lol.

anyways, now i'm on an antibiotic that kills both *ahem* anaerobic bacteria and protozoa *cough, um, er, what did i just say?*.... 10 days to kill off the little suckers, whatever they are.... i hope.

so.
antibiotics, check.
buscopan for the constant cramping, check.
immodium, to immobilize things a bit, slow things down? um.... no check.

unfortunately that basic drug, even though i have a prescription for it, is *not* covered by pharmacare. and i'm a wee bit short on cash.

hey, that gives me an idea...

*pretty sparklies for sale! pretty sparklies! ...anyone?*

spider solitaire

when it comes to spider solitaire, i'm a bit of a snob - i will *only* play 4 suits.

well, that brings your win stats wayyy down low... but it's the most satisfying then, when you do win.

out of 172 games i've played on this comp since the end of august, i've won 15.

an 8% win ratio.

so, you don't see this very often:




victory is mine. mwhahahaha....

*******

*UPDATE* ... second time in one day!

feels pretty sparkly, if i do say so myself!!! lol



16 games out of 179. still an 8% win ratio.

cheer up, lynnie!

thursday

first the good news: i got some things accomplished - last night i'd managed to load the dishwasher, so today i unloaded it. (now i have to load it again).... i took out the garbage.... and did a quickee scrub of the toilet, only because a worse lookin' toilet i ne'er did see....

the bad news: despite finishing my course of medication last night, i feel sick as ever. i've easily visited the washroom 15-20 times today, and the day is only half over. i feel crampy, weak, and totally wrung out. i need to put some food in my stomach, but i am doing the leaning-tower thing, and think i'll be visiting my mattress for a while first.

and when it really hits hard, i'm just curled up in bed wishing this *whatever it is* would hurry up and run it's course and either get better or kill me. just.... no more. i tired.


you are never more lonely than when you are sick... and alone.


*UPDATE*: after i realized i was nauseous and buckling over in pain from a different kind of cramping *cough*, i took 2 extra strength ibuprofen gel caps, and i feel better. still making frequent trips to the loo, but much more clear headed, and able to be up for somewhat longer periods of time. i actually got some laundry in, too! :) .... waitin' on some (runny) oatmeal for dindin, see how well that goes down....!

complaint'nin...

well, i have only one dose of vermox left, to take before bed tonight.

so far, i still feel sick.

i'm running out of clean dishes, i feel too weak to load the dishwasher.

i'm running out of clean clothes, ditto on that one, too.

drained.

it's all i can do to be laying down, running to the bathroom, boiling the kettle to make some instant noodles, making a glass of juice, sitting upright for a while, feeling miserably physically ill and laying down, *again*....

never mind the dishes and laundry on top of that.

straws that break the camels back? brita filter needs changing, and the jug washed.... need to change the sheets on my bed, and wash the blankets.... need to take out the garbage....

.... and i'm going to stop there, because i can feel my brain imploding.... my guts already doing that enough, thanks....




my one happy: these puter times, short as they may be.

my top 5 HOTTIES!!!

#1. a little Chicken... so cute, so heroic...

...so good roasted.

#2. a little Pork - so juicy...

...just be sure to cook him well, or that won't be all you get, folks!

#3. Meatloaf - drools. hunka-hunka...

...heinz 57, anyone?

#4. Ham-time! ...mmm, meaty...

...juicy, moist, and salty! *droolz*

#5. Bacon..... look at those rippling...

...ribbons of meat, totally covered in oil, mmm....

and you know *anything* wrapped in bacon is better! *winks*

*******

end meat-market social commentary.

*shaking the ickies off*

where is home?

(just some jumbled thoughts...)

at first this picture touched me, and that was that. but then it got me thinking...



i want that sense of being Home, now, 'rite heres', even though i'm not... by virtue of being in His arms, and knowing and sensing it, and it being a very real feeling.

i *know* i am home in His arms... but my sense is of being homesick, wishing i could go home, to His physical presence i mean, because i don't feel it so much here. i long for a sense of being Home....

i operate in the Kingdom in a very analytical way, i *know* it, but don't feel it. my whole adult life, my sense sensing sensors have been turned off, on pause, or otherwise non-functioning. i have to ask myself sometimes, what is my body telling me? what are my emotions telling me? so very disconnected from the sensors...

i know God's sovereignty well, i have revelation for that, for me it's simple. a sense of God's LOVE, tho? i *know* He IS love, so it's part of His divine nature, and all His thoughts towards me and actions regarding me are going to operate out of that.

i know that in my head, but having a *feeling* of God's love? having a feeling of His tender nurturance, His arms about me? few and far between.

part of it is my upbringing, that has taught me to disconnect from anything subjective, emotion, sense, or otherwise, and to not trust it, or even validate it. so any revelation of His tender arms has been by just that, revelation, not that i feel them. and they have been hard-won revelations, too, in that there have been some who have brought question to them being really of God... and it took Him years to get through to me that yes, it was really Him.....

... and so i cling to those revelations. i *know* i am in His arms, i am HOME....

but just now and again, i'd like to feel it.

homesick.... that's a good word for it.

so i fixed the list of me wee speshul frenz...

but its probably not complete. if you are missing from it, let me know.

i'd probably do a better job at gathering a complete list if i weren't so sick and 'toxic' feeling... but after three days of no list thanks to the blogger gremlins, i just had to get it done so i can check up on my peeps.

....but that won't be till i have another nap. *sighs*

"The Worm Within"

ok, so i just took my first dose of anti-parasite medication, and thought i'd google for people's experiences with 'exiting infestations'.... this one cracked me up.

The Worm Within

ps. i do not believe i have the same kind as in the story... based on my plethora of symptoms!

garr, matey

i am so irked right now.

i've been sick, missed church today (which i *hate* doing), and got up after the sun went down.

and blogger has eaten my list of 'Me Wee Spezshel Frenz'... again.

frusterating.

albeit, i can take comfort...

imagine how frusterating this would be, after all the work put in:



see more fail pictures

snow tires, people!

this video illustrates well why i am adamant that all-season tires should be banned and winter tires made mandatory. and, if these people had *studded* winter tires, there would have been hardly any problems with the ice at all. grrrr.

it all comes back to you in the end!

yup, another one, but this is just too priceless!

take this as a lesson in sensitivity training, dude...

it was a dark and stormy night...

...and all i can say, is "wow".

morphing

i love how the english language is morphing. when i saw this, it cracked me up...


see more fail pictures

...its a fail in the sense the writer missed that the 'pro-' was referring to a prefix...

...but taking 'pro' as simply a stand-alone word, the answer of 'noob' is 100% accurate!... and is reflective of how technology has changed - and is changing - our language, in a continuous, morphing kind of way.

man, that's cool.

sheepies!!!

"Surely, Goodness and Mercy" video, featuring Ashley Cleveland: i think she has the best voice ever! (you can hear a lot of her songs on her website, i especially love her version of 'it is well with my soul".)



*******

a quote i love from Psalm 23 - The Song of a Passionate Heart by David Roper:

"Lord, You know I'm such a stupid sheep... I follow other shepherds, even other stupid sheep." -Joe Bayly

*******

a quote for today

apropos timing, to boot.

"God, who foresaw your tribulation, has specially formed you to go through it, not without pain but without stain." -- C. S. Lewis

courtesy Quotemeal.

lynnie has a buggie...!

so the test results came back....

... there was some kind of "growth", and i have a prescription waiting for me to pick up.

what kind of growth, i do not know, my doc's nurse did not say.

hopefully its the flora type, and not the fauna type.... the very thought of parasites immediately sends me into full body jerks and facial spasms. cooties. ewww.

so, gonna somehow wind myself over to save-on and try to pick up the prescription. hopefully its covered, i gots me no moola.

apparantly its a 'one shot deal', the nurse said, one dose and it should be taken care of.... which makes me wonder, just how strong is this stuff? ick....



*******

UPDATE: its fauna. i don't know what specific sort, but the medication i'm getting is VERMOX (Mebendazole)... follow the link if you really want more information, lol.

fortunately, it is covered, yay, no cost for me.

UNfortunately, due to our infamous airport on overcast days, they have none in stock until monday. (i take it that's *if* the plane can land on monday...)....

.... so here i am, waiting, the 'HOSTest with the mostest' to some very unwanted guests, knowing there are there, and not having any way to evict them until monday.... WAH!!!!!

*whole body jerks and facial spasms in full effect*

EWW....cooties!

PTSD

first, the feelings:



*******

next, the understanding:

traumatic stress

C-PTSD

*******

and now, just a little something else that hit me.

sleep

wow. it's like i can't get enough of it. i'm awake for an hour or two, and i feel drowsy again, and am quite content to hit the sack. and if i don't sleep, i'm in a quasi sleep-wake land, and i'm just as content there, too.

i've slept and/or rested most of the day today, i've been up less than an hour, and i'm ready to go back to bed again.

i think both my body *and* my mind are needing - and utilizing every moment of - sleep.

off to get my beauty sleep!

but first, my favorite lullaby video...

i walk the line....

randy bachman and joel kroeker re-doing johnny cash's i walk the line, jazz style.

i have to admit, i started watching this with my upper lip curled in distaste, i mean really... the first few lines seem so discordant.....

but by the end of the song, i'm just floored. i'm hooked. i want to listen to it again and again.

wow.

He never lets go of me...

sound quality is not so great, but the video someone made for this awesome song really ministers to me....

i made it through...

.... the worst weekend of the year for me. i hate all the blood and guts and horror of halloween.

.....i have a great ...recognition?... of the evil that is behind it all, and see it as no fun whatsoever.

bah humbug.

stayed home, mellowed. experimented with couscous and minute rice.

today i went out for lunch with friends, i had fruit juice and 2 slices of dry white toast (got adventurous and put a wee bit of jelly on one slice, it was nice)... but it was awesome getting out of the house and being with friends. and their food smelled soooo good... i thoroughly enjoyed it! lols.

shortly after getting home, i hit the sack for about... 4 or 5 hours. i needed it.

tonight i got adventurous with my minute rice and added a couple dashes of garlic powder and dried basil and oregano flakes. it was good!

....oh, how simple life can boil down to, eh? it's good. restful. peaceful.

i swear, times when i'm physically ill have been some of my best times with God. this time, its God ministering His LOVE to my heart, and His REST in a tangible way.

i already feel like laying down for a nap again... not sure if i should try and fight it off for a while, or go with it.... hmm....

... i think i'll go with it. g'night, y'all! ....for now, anyways. ;)