Wednesday, January 20, 2010

thoughts on capacity and excellence

just thinking right now on two words i hear a fair bit in regards to christianity.... that serving God well means being a large-capacity person, striving for excellence.

well, that rubs me the wrong way. that's not what i read in scripture. that's not what my sense is from God. i think it's more of a distraction than a benefit.

i think God calls us to be broken vessels - not large capacity ones.
i think He calls us to be willing and available, out of season as much as in season - when we are unpracticed, unrefined, unskilled, and unsure.

i am an artist, so my musings come from that direction, but it can be applied otherwise....

i don't want to be part of a church where the music ministry is huge and polished, with paid staff and musicians. i don't want to be part of a church where the media team is highly skilled and the sound system needs a degree to run. those things have nothing to do with finding and knowing Jesus.... and can be nothing but a distraction.

i would rather be in a small church with half-skilled but whole-hearted worshipers,
where the anointing falls because we recognize we have no ability of our own to give, and we don't see the 'anointing' as just the grease on already skilled fingers.

where talents are housed in fragile vessels, and abilities are tempered by thorns in the flesh.
where humility and reverence for the God of Grace is palpable... and the proud with gifts to bring flee elsewhere to find where their capabilities might be put on display or given it's 'due' use.

where we seek the face of God, and not His hand.
where we lay our lives down in totality before Him, and refuse to be satisfied with a notion of God as someone who exists to help *us*.
where shallowness flees, and there are both depths of fellowship in His sufferings, and depths of hope, joy, and peace.

where we are at once depraved sinners and co-heirs with Christ,
both helpless children and God's ambassadors,
both worm and victor,
both dead to self and alive in Him.

Lord, may i never be a large-capacity person... and my i strive to know nothing but Jesus Christ and Him Crucified.

Clover
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Outcast, Adopted.

THIS BLOG IS IN NEED OF AN OVERHAUL. there are posts from years back i would not be able to post in good conscience now. i plan to overhaul the blog, and either delete or add a disclaimer to those posts. but that is gonna take time....

The Radical Summons: "Therefore let us go to Him outside the camp and bear the reproach He endured. For here we have no lasting city, but we seek the city that is to come." Hebrews 13:13.

"The Spirit never loosens where the Word binds; the Spirit never justifies where the Word condemns; the Spirit never approves where the Word disapproves; the Spirit never blesses where the Word curses." —Thomas Brooks

‎"God receives none but those who are forsaken, restores health to none but those who are sick, gives sight to none but the blind, and life to none but the dead. He does not give saintliness to any but sinners, nor wisdom to any but fools. In short: He has mercy on none but the wretched and gives grace to none but those who are in disgrace. Therefore no arrogant saint, or just or wise man can be material for God, neither can he do the work of God, but he remains confined within his own work and makes of himself a fictitious, ostensible, false, and deceitful saint, that is, a hypocrite." --Martin Luther (W.A. 1.183ff)

i will not let You go: "Jacob's sense of his total debility and utter defeat is now the secret of his power with his friendly Vanquisher. God can overthrow all the prowess of the self-reliant, but He cannot resist the earnest entreaty of the helpless." --Albert Barnes

i will not let You go: "Jacob's determination did not flow from his strength, it flowed from his weakness." --Charles Leiter