Saturday, November 18, 2006

brain fog

so... internet's back up again, i slept in this morning, got up a couple times but wound up back in bed, slept until 2:30 this afternoon.... then went to visit mom at the hospital, and darn near fell asleep in her chair.... gee, what is wrong with me?

what i have are the physical symptoms of clinical depression (chemical depression - lack of seratonin(sp?) in the brain) - sleeping too much, fatigue, mental fogginess and overall lack of energy. harder to think. my outlook is good - i got the joy joy joy joy down in my heart... it just ain't in my muscles, lol. or in my mental processing - it's like i'm walking around in a fog, everything's muffled, i'm detached.

i *have* been under a lot of stress lately, with mom in the hospital for who knows how long. she may never come home - ie, she may 'go home' to her home with God first.

but there are so many awesome things in my life - church, family, friends, GOD. i have nothing to complain about. i feel great emotionally. not blue at all. just so stinkin' tired, physically, and mentally i suppose.

tho it's not like i'm not getting enough sleep, lol!

ach, we'll see what the doc says.

*******

i find it interesting that someone quoted this scripture last sunday. it has special meaning for me, particularly when it comes to the condemnation the enemy tries to bring about 'seeking help' from the medical profession - i mean, i'm a 'christian', right? i shouldn't have problems, right? bad christian. bad, bad christian.

but that's bull.

when trying to sort that out in my head quite some time ago, God spoke to me that the medical profession is one of those things that is primarily in the secular realm, but He gives the fruit of it, the worldly riches of it, to bless us, minister to us, and provide for us. it's not from them, it's from HIM. becuase He loves us.

isaiah 60 nkjv

4"Lift up your eyes all around, and see:
They all gather together, they come to you;
Your sons shall come from afar,
And your daughters shall be nursed at your side.
5Then you shall see and become radiant,
And your heart shall swell with joy;
Because the abundance of the sea shall be turned to you,
The wealth of the Gentiles shall come to you.

6The multitude of camels shall cover your land,
The dromedaries of Midian and Emphah;
All those from Shemba shall come;
They shall bring gold and incense,
And they shall proclaim the praises of the LORD.
7All the flocks of Kemdar shall be gathered together to you,
The rams of Nebamioth shall minister to you;
They shall ascend with acceptance on My altar,
And I will glorify the house of My glory.
8"Who are these who fly like a cloud,
And like doves to their roosts?
9Surely the coastlands shall wait for Me;
And the ships of Tarshish will come first,
To bring your sons from afar,
Their silver and their gold with them,
To the name of the LORD your God,
And to the Holy One of Israel,
Because He has glorified you.
10"The sons of foreigners shall build up your walls,
And their kings shall minister to you;

For in My wrath I struck you,
But in My favor I have had mercy on you.
11Therefore your gates shall be open continually;
They shall not be shut day or night,
That men may bring to you the wealth of the Gentiles,
And their kings in procession.
12For the nation and kingdom which will not serve you shall perish,
And those nations shall be utterly ruined.
13"The glory of Lebanon shall come to you,
The cypress, the pine, and the box tree together,
To beautify the place of My sanctuary;
And I will make the place of My feet glorious.
14Also the sons of those who afflicted you
Shall come bowing to you,
And all those who despised you shall fall prostrate at the soles of your feet;
And they shall call you The City of the LORD,
Zion of the Holy One of Israel.
15"Whereas you have been forsaken and hated,
So that no one went through you,
I will make you an eternal excellence,
A joy of many generations.
16You shall drink the milk of the Gentiles,
And milk the breast of kings;

You shall know that I, the LORD, am your Savior
And your Redeemer, the Mighty One of Jacob.


so shut up, enemy! God rules!

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Outcast, Adopted.

THIS BLOG IS IN NEED OF AN OVERHAUL. there are posts from years back i would not be able to post in good conscience now. i plan to overhaul the blog, and either delete or add a disclaimer to those posts. but that is gonna take time....

The Radical Summons: "
Therefore let us go to Him outside the camp and bear the reproach He endured. For here we have no lasting city, but we seek the city that is to come." Hebrews 13:13.

"The Spirit never loosens where the Word binds; the Spirit never justifies where the Word condemns; the Spirit never approves where the Word disapproves; the Spirit never blesses where the Word curses." —Thomas Brooks

‎"God receives none but those who are forsaken, restores health to none but those who are sick, gives sight to none but the blind, and life to none but the dead. He does not give saintliness to any but sinners, nor wisdom to any but fools. In short: He has mercy on none but the wretched and gives grace to none but those who are in disgrace. Therefore no arrogant saint, or just or wise man can be material for God, neither can he do the work of God, but he remains confined within his own work and makes of himself a fictitious, ostensible, false, and deceitful saint, that is, a hypocrite." --Martin Luther (W.A. 1.183ff)

i will not let You go: "Jacob's sense of his total debility and utter defeat is now the secret of his power with his friendly Vanquisher. God can overthrow all the prowess of the self-reliant, but He cannot resist the earnest entreaty of the helpless." --Albert Barnes

i will not let You go: "Jacob's determination did not flow from his strength, it flowed from his weakness." --Charles Leiter