hmmm, ok, some veddy personal musings here....
...but i'm trying to figure something out....
...how exactly does one *not* fall in love?
"do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires"....
i'm trying danged hard, but it seems to be happening nonetheless.
does that mean it's time?
aaaarrrgghhhh!!!!!!
if only God would say a clear yes or no.
but the only thing clear is that it is *not* a no.
He keeps cautioning me to not walk away, not not discount what He can do, oh ye of little faith i am. i keep seeing visions of what God *could* do, His potential in another person, in two people together. He tells me to not walk away from what is illogical, not 'common sensical', because He chooses the base things of the earth, of which i myself am one.
(please, no one try to argue that last point with me under the false illusion of trying to get me to acknowledge my role in God's plan, or natural worth in anything.... it's ALL God, none of me, i am well aware of my depravity thank you veddy much... and that's not what this post is about, k? :P)
He has done, is capable of, and will do GREAT things..... and He will not let me forget that fact.
(as clouded as my head has been lately, when i know it's His voice, i know that i know that i know.... y'know?)
i want to guard my heart from things that are not Him..... but i do not want to guard my heart from things that *are* Him.
He just says, "walk in faith, girl".... and i see Him smiling bemusedly as He, knowing all things, sees me walking in utter lack of any other compass point but Him (as there is none other). and He says Trust ME. Walk In FAITH. Don't Look Down.
....*and*....
He says walk in freedom in the convictions I have given you. accept no judgement. do before others what you have no shame in doing before Me.
forgive me my fear of judgement, Lord - my fear of man.
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