Sunday, January 25, 2009

hair woes

my hair as of today:



well, i fielded a lot of compliments on my new haircut today... which is nice, cuz i hate feelin' butch!!! lol.... knowing i still look like a girl is a good thing.

...although one person DID say today that they first thought, 'oh, there's a new guy playing piano'... and then they realized it was me. *sighs*... oh well.

someone else (and there is no chance they will read this blog!) had a case of foot in mouth syndrome: 'the hair looks good, and if you keep losing weight, you're really pretty'......

how does ANYBODY come under the delusion that that is a *compliment*?!?!?!?! LOLS

anyways....

the bad news is (yeah, all that was the good news.... i know, i know, if that was the good news, what on earth could the bad news be? lol)..... *ahem*, to start again, the bad news is i am going to have to get my hair cut, AGAIN.

whaaaaat?

well, it's still too long. i can grab the hairs with my fingers. and whereas for a few days i seemed to be pulling less, today has not been such a good day!!!!! .....so time for some serious damage control - my bald spot has grown considerably , in one day....

... and if you just thought, well why don't you JUST STOP?!?... i'll tell you now, don't ever say that to my face cuz i just might hit you. seriously.

that question just burns my butt.... i've struggled with this for years, tried hard to stop, brought it to God over and over again, prayed and begged and pleaded, have worn gloves, hit myself in frustration, you name it. for whatever reason, God has not delivered it from me, and i can't stop. ....it has waxed and waned over the years, but this is probably the worst it's been in about 10 years or so...

it's a fine line to toe, finding the balance between the two extremes of trying to pray it away and JUST STOP DAMMIT!..... and just rest in God's grace and sovereignty.

and God IS sovereign... so in all this, He has a plan - a reason for allowing it to continue.... and it is to His glory.

if it's for no other reason than an opportunity for transparency, and an example that christians have struggles too and i'm not perfect, that's good enough. :)

so.... buzz cut coming up, sooner rather than later. *shrugs* been there, done that - feeling GIRLY with a buzz cut is definately harder, but it can be done.

good thing i like big hoopy earrings! lol...

just for interests sake, here's a blast from the past for ya: a bad webcam image of my baptism photo, going on 10 years ago (fall '99):

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1 comment:

  1. Tamara8:55 p.m.

    I honestly think the short hair looks great on you!! :) Beautiful

    ReplyDelete

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Outcast, Adopted.

THIS BLOG IS IN NEED OF AN OVERHAUL. there are posts from years back i would not be able to post in good conscience now. i plan to overhaul the blog, and either delete or add a disclaimer to those posts. but that is gonna take time....

The Radical Summons: "Therefore let us go to Him outside the camp and bear the reproach He endured. For here we have no lasting city, but we seek the city that is to come." Hebrews 13:13.

"The Spirit never loosens where the Word binds; the Spirit never justifies where the Word condemns; the Spirit never approves where the Word disapproves; the Spirit never blesses where the Word curses." —Thomas Brooks

‎"God receives none but those who are forsaken, restores health to none but those who are sick, gives sight to none but the blind, and life to none but the dead. He does not give saintliness to any but sinners, nor wisdom to any but fools. In short: He has mercy on none but the wretched and gives grace to none but those who are in disgrace. Therefore no arrogant saint, or just or wise man can be material for God, neither can he do the work of God, but he remains confined within his own work and makes of himself a fictitious, ostensible, false, and deceitful saint, that is, a hypocrite." --Martin Luther (W.A. 1.183ff)

i will not let You go: "Jacob's sense of his total debility and utter defeat is now the secret of his power with his friendly Vanquisher. God can overthrow all the prowess of the self-reliant, but He cannot resist the earnest entreaty of the helpless." --Albert Barnes

i will not let You go: "Jacob's determination did not flow from his strength, it flowed from his weakness." --Charles Leiter