Saturday, October 17, 2009

just my toes is not enough

found a thought provoking quote at another blog...
"This is my endlessly recurrent temptation: to go down to that Sea (I think St. John of the Cross called God a sea) and there neither dive nor swim nor float, but only dabble and splash."
--C. S. Lewis, "A Slip of the Tongue," in The Weight of Glory, page 187.
for me i feel this endless fatigue, like i want so much to get in the water, but can barely get my toe in the water before i collapse, and try to be content with the little when i want so much more....

and i try, over and over, to work up the energy to just slide down into the water, but i only manage to get close enough to dip my toe in the water...

so often i identify with the man at the pool of bethesda...
John 5:2 Now there is in Jerusalem by the Sheep Gate a pool, which is called in Hebrew, Bethesda, having five porches. 3 In these lay a great multitude of sick people, blind, lame, paralyzed, waiting for the moving of the water. 4 For an angel went down at a certain time into the pool and stirred up the water; then whoever stepped in first, after the stirring of the water, was made well of whatever disease he had.

5 Now a certain man was there who had an infirmity thirty-eight years. 6 When Jesus saw him lying there, and knew that he already had been in that condition a long time, He said to him, “Do you want to be made well?”

7 The sick man answered Him, “Sir, I have no man to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up; but while I am coming, another steps down before me.” (nkjv)
instead of blaming the man for not getting into the pool, not trying harder, not believing, or 'failing to recieve' healing, Jesus in His compassion just heals him.

so often people say, lynne, stop identifying with your illness, get going! stop agreeing with the enemy by sitting there, get into that pool!

i can only imagine the hunger in that man after 38 years. 38 years desiring healing. 38 years desiring to do what needs to be done. 38 years of trying and failing. 38 years of it being out of reach of his abilities. 38 years of the promise of healing being so close... yet so far.

Jesus didn't blame the man for not getting into the pool; instead, Jesus brought the 'pool' of healing - Himself - to the man.

He, the One with the power in His very words to create and heal, spoke to the man the ability to get up. the man did not have that ability until Jesus spoke it to him.

i think so often we forget that. God has a timing in store, and holds no blame, impatience, or frustration with us while we are struggling before that time. in our frail state, the only ability we have is what He gives us. to often we are trying to pull up our bootstraps, and then feel condemned because there are no bootstraps to be found!!!

continuing the verse:
8 Jesus said to him, “Rise, take up your bed and walk.” 9 And immediately the man was made well, took up his bed, and walked.
notice the man was made well before he took up his bed. Jesus didn't demand that he take up his bed in order to obtain healing! ...any more, i suspect, than God expects us to do the impossible before He anoints us to do it. ...in any area or facet of life.

Matthew Henry said about this:
"Arise, and walk. God's command, Turn and live; Make ye a new heart; no more supposes power in us without the grace of God, his distinguishing grace, than this command supposed such power in the impotent man: it was by the power of Christ, and he must have all the glory. What a joyful surprise to the poor cripple, to find himself of a sudden so easy, so strong, so able to help himself! The proof of spiritual cure, is our rising and walking."
-- Matthew Henry's Concise Commentary (source) (emphasis mine.)
so here i am, in desperate spiritual hunger, desperate to slide into the water so deeply that i am totally immersed... but barely getting my toes wet.

and i want so much more.


Clover

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Outcast, Adopted.

THIS BLOG IS IN NEED OF AN OVERHAUL. there are posts from years back i would not be able to post in good conscience now. i plan to overhaul the blog, and either delete or add a disclaimer to those posts. but that is gonna take time....

The Radical Summons: "
Therefore let us go to Him outside the camp and bear the reproach He endured. For here we have no lasting city, but we seek the city that is to come." Hebrews 13:13.

"The Spirit never loosens where the Word binds; the Spirit never justifies where the Word condemns; the Spirit never approves where the Word disapproves; the Spirit never blesses where the Word curses." —Thomas Brooks

‎"God receives none but those who are forsaken, restores health to none but those who are sick, gives sight to none but the blind, and life to none but the dead. He does not give saintliness to any but sinners, nor wisdom to any but fools. In short: He has mercy on none but the wretched and gives grace to none but those who are in disgrace. Therefore no arrogant saint, or just or wise man can be material for God, neither can he do the work of God, but he remains confined within his own work and makes of himself a fictitious, ostensible, false, and deceitful saint, that is, a hypocrite." --Martin Luther (W.A. 1.183ff)

i will not let You go: "Jacob's sense of his total debility and utter defeat is now the secret of his power with his friendly Vanquisher. God can overthrow all the prowess of the self-reliant, but He cannot resist the earnest entreaty of the helpless." --Albert Barnes

i will not let You go: "Jacob's determination did not flow from his strength, it flowed from his weakness." --Charles Leiter