looking forward down this road

hmm, i must say, oddly enough (at least to those with non-eternal vision i suppose), i'm rather looking forward to this time in my life. what? you're mom is dying lynne, how could you say that?

Along the Road

I walked a mile with Pleasure;
She chattered all the way.
But left me none the wiser
For all she had to say.

I walked a mile with Sorrow
And ne'er a word said she;
But oh, the things I learned from her
When Sorrow walked with me!

- Robert Browning

why? becuase it will be a time of growth for me. i don't think it's possible for God to take things away from us, and we don't grow! it's like pruning - new growth comes.

i'm one of those strange people who, when they hear of someone going through some difficulty in their lives, i get all excited and rub my hands together, and yelp, "oh goodie, God's doing something great here! whoo hoo!" bananas? maybe... if you don't see things eternally. it doesn't mean i don't acknowledge or feel empathy for what the person's going through - is just see the end of it all and it just stokes me! it fires me up, to see the purposes of God at work in our lives! whoo hoo!

and here i am, my mom's health is rapidly declining, and barring another miracle (she's been a walking miracle for two years), she's going to die sometime in the near future... as mickie said at cell, these are basically my mom's last days.

my mummy, who i have depended on so much in my life.
my mummy, who's been there through thick and thin.
my mummy, who patches my owies and hugs me whenever i want it.
my mummy, who i haven't always gotten along with on certain matters...
but that doesn't matter, becuase...
she's my mummy!!!!!

but that's ok... cuz i know where she's gonna be.

thursday i found an old torn out page of an our daily bread devotional (rbc ministries). i haven't a clue what year it was from, but it's dated 'tuesday, april 29th'. and one line, regarding angels' duties, stuck out at me: "finally, they accompany each believer at death into the presence of the Lord. (Luke 16:22, 2 Cor 5:8)." so i looked those verses up.

Luke 16:22 - "So it was that the beggar died, and was carried by the angels to Abraham's bosom."

2 Corinthians 5:8 - We are confident, yes, well pleased rather to be absent from the body and to be present with the Lord.

wow. i'm determined more, now than ever, for mom to be able to die at home. where there are no annoying beeps and blips. decent food, and prune juice whenever she wants it! sitting and talking and hugging and holding hands. watching movies and cable tv together. washing her face, rubbing her feet, combing her hair. playing music on the piano, singing in her ear, and reading the bible to her when she's comatose. me being at least in the general vicinity when she 'gives up the ghost' and is accompanied by those angels into the presence of the Lord. yeah. cool.

will the circle be unbroken

i was standin' by my window
one cold and cloudy day
when i saw that hearse come rollin'
for to carry my mother away

oh will the circle be unbroken
by and by, Lord, by and by
there's a better home awaitin'
in the sky Lord, in the sky

well i told that undertaker
undertaker, please drive slow
for that lady you are haulin'
Lord i hate to see her go

oh will the circle be unbroken
by and by, Lord, by and by
there's a better home awaitin'
in the sky Lord, in the sky

well i followed close behind them
i tried to hold up and be brave
but i could not hide my sorrow
when they laid her in that grave

oh will the circle be unbroken
by and by, Lord, by and by
there's a better home awaitin'
in the sky Lord, in the sky