Monday, December 15, 2008

dream vs. reality stocking

[imagine a cool stocking picture.... i'm too lazy to go find one...]

dream stocking:
  • $2500+ gift certif to sight n sound for a new guitar... and a bass... and an amp...
  • heck, a gift certif for a drum set...
  • double heck, a gift certif for a skookum keyboard and recording software/hardware....
  • triple heck, a gift certif for a baby grand.... *drools*... anybody got a spare 10 grand? lol
  • keys for a new car and prepaid gas and insurance for 5 years (hey, 10 - its a dream, right? lol)
  • gift certificate for housekeeping for a year, lol
  • airplane tickets & accomodation to go to every bc gtt and north american ltt

reality stocking v. 1: unlikely but really, really, *really* wish it *could* happen:
  • tickets for me and at least one friend to go to the QC to take care of scattering mom's ashes... :/
  • airfare & accomodation to go see my therapist again....
reality stocking v. 2: very conceivably plausible! lol
  • lots of wool.... i mean real *wool* wool..... feltable/fullable.....
  • [... wow this is a harder list to come up with!]
  • gift certificate for amazon.com/ca (i need some specific books i won't list here....)
  • [gee, i'm on the verge of tears(!).... because there are a lot of 'little' things (none of them *things*) i wish for that would never show up in a stocking.... :'( ]
  • ....... ..... .......

...
... ... ...
.. ..... .... ..... ok, forget this, now i *am* crying .... .... ... ... .. .. ...



.....whats most important to me is Jesus.... the people i love.... and healing. everything else, as beautiful or lovely or useful it may be, is .... well.....

... stuff.


one tidbit about my day.... today i spent about 2/3 of the day with or around people i love, and about 1/3 at home alone. it was a good balance. usually i'm alone about 90% of the time. and that's really hard. .... so what would you suppose my heart cries out for.... stuff?... or family, in the truest sense of the word?

ok.... not to be emo... just honest..... i'm going to go now, i'm not feeling so well....
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Outcast, Adopted.

THIS BLOG IS IN NEED OF AN OVERHAUL. there are posts from years back i would not be able to post in good conscience now. i plan to overhaul the blog, and either delete or add a disclaimer to those posts. but that is gonna take time....

The Radical Summons: "Therefore let us go to Him outside the camp and bear the reproach He endured. For here we have no lasting city, but we seek the city that is to come." Hebrews 13:13.

"The Spirit never loosens where the Word binds; the Spirit never justifies where the Word condemns; the Spirit never approves where the Word disapproves; the Spirit never blesses where the Word curses." —Thomas Brooks

‎"God receives none but those who are forsaken, restores health to none but those who are sick, gives sight to none but the blind, and life to none but the dead. He does not give saintliness to any but sinners, nor wisdom to any but fools. In short: He has mercy on none but the wretched and gives grace to none but those who are in disgrace. Therefore no arrogant saint, or just or wise man can be material for God, neither can he do the work of God, but he remains confined within his own work and makes of himself a fictitious, ostensible, false, and deceitful saint, that is, a hypocrite." --Martin Luther (W.A. 1.183ff)

i will not let You go: "Jacob's sense of his total debility and utter defeat is now the secret of his power with his friendly Vanquisher. God can overthrow all the prowess of the self-reliant, but He cannot resist the earnest entreaty of the helpless." --Albert Barnes

i will not let You go: "Jacob's determination did not flow from his strength, it flowed from his weakness." --Charles Leiter