Thursday, December 11, 2008

i swear


no more masks. the artist of the picture above wrote a lovely poem on masks you can read by clicking the link or picture. i've been wanting to write about one area i mask, and that is a pretense of purity - specifically, swearing.

yeah, i swear sometimes. i said that to someone once, and they wrinkled their nose, and said, you do? yeah, i do. and you know what else? it's getting worse, lol. the more i discover in myself, learn about my past and how it affects me, and refuse to let masks cover up truth, i refuse to pretend 'purity' more and more, and just BE who i am.

you know what? i am depraved. the only thing pure about me is Christ in me, and my standing in Him. HE is pure.... not me. not while i still live in this mortal body and have this flesh nature. my standing before Him and in Him is pure and faultless, Christ's righteousness is inputed to me 100%, and my spirit man has been made perfect. yes yes yes. i do not deny that at all. i know that and recognize it for what it is: one of God's most precious truths to me. ..... and i also recognize that it is not of myself... and the outworking of that in my day to day life is, well, a process.

one step to becoming who i am meant to be is being TRUTHFUL with myself - and others. i do not swear out of an attempt to shock or offend.... but just in saying it like it is. allowing what's really inside me to BE, to be acknowledged, and to be changed by GOD not by me.....not revising who i am, where i come from, what i've come through, and what i'm still dealing with... not hiding it under a pretty 'christian' mask.... not saying 'i'm doing good' when i'm not, not pretending i don't get lonely or scared or _____, when i do, not pretending to be all cleaned up and perfect in deed and word, when i'm not.

all to often we confuse christianity with churchianity, and it becomes about conforming and fitting in with the little christian subculture we have.... and we fail to be real and raw about our struggles - and victories! - in our walk with Jesus. well you know what? Jesus knows swear words leak out of me, and He loves me just the same. i do not *try* to be a potty mouth or anything, but i will not claim that my tongue is perfectly tamed either.
James 3:2 For we all stumble in many things. If anyone does not stumble in word, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle the whole body.
and you know what? i ain't perfect yet. i stumble in word, and i sure as heck can't bridle my whole body yet! i sin!!!!! yeah, i do try to bridle my tongue (and body!), but dang it, when i fail at doing that - and i will - i am not going to pretend i don't have faults, not going to fall into pretense that i am anywhere other than where i am, and LIE. cuz yeah, it's LYING. point blank.

NO MORE FRIGGIN' MASKS.
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2 comments:

  1. Darci9:03 p.m.

    I love the second paragraph. That sums up my thoughts lately. and I agree, I swear too. Mostly it's been in the last 7 months of my life. I feel bad when I do sometimes. But it's also a warning sign to me that my attitude is in the wrong place. So I then I remember to change my thoughts and keep walking forward.

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  2. Lynnie Ha12:02 a.m.

    for me it's about letting myself out of the 'bottle', so i can heal.... my whole life i've edited and revised my feelings and actions to conform to what was acceptable, and i need to break free of that.... part of it is letting my not-so-pretties *be*, instead of pretending they aren't there.... by recognizing that my attitude *is* wrong alot of the time... instead of pretending - and thinking! - that everything is fine.... now i'm bringing things into the light so He *can* change me... becuase He wants me to know what He's changing and healing in me, He doesn't want to do it in one fell swoop and i don't know what He did, but things are better all of a sudden, somehow... He wants me to know the depth of His healing and deliverance - His redemption of this fallen soul - so i will *never* forget what He has done.... does that make any sense?

    the last thing i want is for this post to come across like i am a christian who condones swearing... but what i'm not condoning is falsity, pretension, and keeping things hidden and in the dark. gotta bring it into the light, y'know????

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Outcast, Adopted.

THIS BLOG IS IN NEED OF AN OVERHAUL. there are posts from years back i would not be able to post in good conscience now. i plan to overhaul the blog, and either delete or add a disclaimer to those posts. but that is gonna take time....

The Radical Summons: "Therefore let us go to Him outside the camp and bear the reproach He endured. For here we have no lasting city, but we seek the city that is to come." Hebrews 13:13.

"The Spirit never loosens where the Word binds; the Spirit never justifies where the Word condemns; the Spirit never approves where the Word disapproves; the Spirit never blesses where the Word curses." —Thomas Brooks

‎"God receives none but those who are forsaken, restores health to none but those who are sick, gives sight to none but the blind, and life to none but the dead. He does not give saintliness to any but sinners, nor wisdom to any but fools. In short: He has mercy on none but the wretched and gives grace to none but those who are in disgrace. Therefore no arrogant saint, or just or wise man can be material for God, neither can he do the work of God, but he remains confined within his own work and makes of himself a fictitious, ostensible, false, and deceitful saint, that is, a hypocrite." --Martin Luther (W.A. 1.183ff)

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