the cage i have known

the cage i have known is one that
having left...
i would never return to.
no amount of familiarity makes it 'comfortable'.
this cage is one
that death would be escape.
tangible pain would be easier than this captivity.

"stupid bird,
fearfully returned to the cage,
stubbornly refusing to fly..."

nay...
i am not a bird that has flown free and returned...
i have never seen the open door.
i have been told it is there, but i cannot see it.
there is nothing but darkness...
and a small, small Light....
that illuminates my feet, and one step ahead, if at all.
sometimes it's still, and dark, and i wait...

and i hope.

and sometimes is enough Light to take one step
but there is still no sight of the door.
no light peeking through the bars.
i only see glimpses in my mind of what could be...
in the freedom i have never seen.

i have been stepping and waiting, stepping and waiting
for ten long years.
my steps have become more sure,
but the process is painfully slow...
and i have grown weary.
deliverance has not been instant.
deliverance has not been total.
deliverance has not been complete.

it has, however, been promised.

"brave bird,
wearily persevering in captivity,
stubbornly refusing to give up,
to give in..."

so i will walk, within this cage,
toward the open door i have never seen,
my vision not of natural sight
but revelation that sustains...

this struggle is not for naught.

so i walk,
one step in front of the other...
waiting when i need to wait,
then walking again when i can,
and trusting God for the Promise.

and believing...
He does not despise His captive people.


(some rough poetic rambling)