Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Wordless....Basking in the Afterglow....

lately, i've been feeling strangely wordless. the last three days were pretty much among the best three days of my life thus far.... and yet, words aren't coming.

i've been content to sit down at the computer, check my emails, then get up again.

course, it helps that i've been busy busy busy! but it feels like the experiences of the last few days are going to fade, and i will not have writ them down in e-stone.

i'll do a quick re-cap, just in case i never get around to writing in more detail.

sunday, i did two new things at church - i sang one of the songs God has given me, for the first time in front of the whole church; and i played keyboard during worship. my pastor said three whole times! (that's signifigant!) that i did reallly good, excellent. blow me away. .... then in the afternoon, i spent time at the lake with peeps from church - my extended, beloved family - and it was awesome. i even deigned to wade in up to my calves in tepid lake water - perfect breeding ground for sewage-bacteria-whatever-it's-called, and the occasional leech. even sitting in the sun, i got me a tan.... then in the evening, friends drove me home, but mom was not home, i didn't have my key, so i went to their house until i found mom and she came and picked me up. but i dilly-dallied, y'know? i was sitting in the yard with miz gracie, and we played in the play-pool.... she peed her pants but good, so i plunked her in the water to clean her up a bit... hey she was already wet! and what did her mom say when she came out to find her dear daughter was in the pool? 'phhht, that's fine'. laid back to the nth degree... i LOVE it!!!!!!

monday was a more normal day. i went for a walk with a friend (got some more sun, i'm getting brown for the first time in my life!), visited with her for a long while..... went to bed early and discovered a trick to get my 100-mile-per-minute brain to slow down: set my metronome to 40bmp, muffle it by putting an empty tissue box over it, then a pillow, and man, my brain get's nicely in sync with the slow beat. thank Ya, Jesus!!!!! for how normal a day it was, really i felt like it rivalled the day before in awesomeness.. i don't know why, but it did.

yesterday (tuesday), i spent the day babysitting my spiritual neice and nephews, the aforementioned gracie and kin, from 8 am to 6 pm. it was AWESOME!!!!!!! during the day we walked to the park and back, got some MORE sun! lol ....then i went home, hosed my sweaty self off, then walked to cell with a dear friend (who doesn't go to cell very often but she did last night! whoo!), embarrased myself, heard a 11 year old play his just-written worship song, loved on some people, cleaned up a lemonade flood, and walked home again. the sun was getting low in the sky, clouds were building up (after days of hot sun, hallelujah for clouds) and the sky was giving off this most golden light. the caterpillars that are around this year have white spots running down their backs, and in this light they looked flourescent. everything just glowed in this weird, awesome amber light.... it was like a wonderful afterglow to three awesome days. i said to pam, "are you pregnant? cuz you are positively glowing!" lol. shortly after going in the house, it went away. it was almost like God glowed on us, just for us. just for me. afterglow. i love it.

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Outcast, Adopted.

THIS BLOG IS IN NEED OF AN OVERHAUL. there are posts from years back i would not be able to post in good conscience now. i plan to overhaul the blog, and either delete or add a disclaimer to those posts. but that is gonna take time....

The Radical Summons: "
Therefore let us go to Him outside the camp and bear the reproach He endured. For here we have no lasting city, but we seek the city that is to come." Hebrews 13:13.

"The Spirit never loosens where the Word binds; the Spirit never justifies where the Word condemns; the Spirit never approves where the Word disapproves; the Spirit never blesses where the Word curses." —Thomas Brooks

‎"God receives none but those who are forsaken, restores health to none but those who are sick, gives sight to none but the blind, and life to none but the dead. He does not give saintliness to any but sinners, nor wisdom to any but fools. In short: He has mercy on none but the wretched and gives grace to none but those who are in disgrace. Therefore no arrogant saint, or just or wise man can be material for God, neither can he do the work of God, but he remains confined within his own work and makes of himself a fictitious, ostensible, false, and deceitful saint, that is, a hypocrite." --Martin Luther (W.A. 1.183ff)

i will not let You go: "Jacob's sense of his total debility and utter defeat is now the secret of his power with his friendly Vanquisher. God can overthrow all the prowess of the self-reliant, but He cannot resist the earnest entreaty of the helpless." --Albert Barnes

i will not let You go: "Jacob's determination did not flow from his strength, it flowed from his weakness." --Charles Leiter