[click pic to enlarge]an ol' public domain cartoon [more here] from march 30, 1906. yup, 100 years old, and as true as ever.
how many of us can relate to ol' everett true? i have been told, various times in life, things like:
"you're not tired, don't give in to it, tell yourself you'll have energy and you will!"
"oh, it can't hurt that much. if you keep telling yourself it hurts it will!"
"oh, that smell is pretty mild, it doesn't bother me, why should it bother you?"
"buck up girl, tell yourself to be happy, and you will."
....ad nauseum.
invalidation at it's best.
if someone hurts, don't tell them they don't. that is truly insulting, patronizing, and hurtful! don't minimize how they feel, it's valid, even if you do not understand it. if it's an emotional thing, yes, it may well be based on the belief of a lie "i'm a burden to others" for example, but the struggle with feeling like a burden is a real experience for them. to say, in effect, "oh puhleez, you should know better than that!" just drives a wedge between people and minimizes any possibility of genuine ministry. and if it's a physical thing, no one can know how another experiences pain, what does not hurt one person can be excruciating to another. it's legitimate, it's real. God ordains suffering sometimes, y'know? think of good ol' job. his friends did not help him bear his burden, they added to it! let us not be like that to others.
and when someone says something invalidating to us, let us not respond as ol' everett true did! *whack*
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