Wednesday, September 24, 2008

ashes to ashes

everything i do
is still wrapped up in you -
your hopes - your dreams - your fears -
Life According To You.

living day to day,
its you who's paved my way -
your goals for me control me,
- it's for freedom i am free! -
but your
- glue -
it never leaves me,
my companion every day -
it never leaves me free
- it's for freedom i am free! -
to be just me,
little ol' me,
me in Jesus' way.

these ropes around my ankles,
were a gift to me, from you -
wrapped around, with knotted bow,
and tied in place by you -
and always and forever,
to be denied by you .

you tell me, oh just do it,
you say i have the skills!
- there's no reason i can't do it,
- if i only just believe -
- just set my mind to do it...
- and surely i'll succeed.

i try, i trip, i fall, i fail,
tangled in these ropes -
- but it's my very own fault,
- because, i'm sure you see,
- i didn't try quite hard enough,
- i didn't 'just believe'.

my grieving is a rending wail,
yet you tell me what to feel...

don't i bother crying
tears do me no good
- no one else will help me -
- for everyone's my enemy -
only you believe in me
you only want the best for me
- there's no rope around my ankles -
- what am i talking about! -
you only want the best for me
your love for me is pure, you see
- when the time comes i will be more than able -
- to live, wash dishes, or set the table -
don't worry about it for now
you'll do it for me, again
- i'll figure it out on my own
- when i have to, later, then.

......."how could you be mad at her?
......."think of all she's done for you,
......."think of how she's taken care of you,
......."how even now she's providing for you..."

so again i get up, and try to live,
your standards and goals hanging over my head -
i must live - right now - i must live - today -
independent - all alone - it must be this way.

i run, i trip, i fall, i wail,
my imaginary ropes around my ankles-
- every moment that i live
- i'm still wrapped up in you
- you tell me how to live and think
- and how to be like you.

it's true, each moment,
you are in my head -
you've succeeded there,
and you're proud, i'll bet!
but guess what, you're not my god -
you're just the jones' in my head!
so shut your rotten mouth -
and shove your rules of lead -
cuz ashes to ashes -
dust to dust -
you - are - friggin' - dead!

*******

me - 9/24/08
(1st draft, anyhoo)
Writ and/or posted by at

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Outcast, Adopted.

THIS BLOG IS IN NEED OF AN OVERHAUL. there are posts from years back i would not be able to post in good conscience now. i plan to overhaul the blog, and either delete or add a disclaimer to those posts. but that is gonna take time....

The Radical Summons: "Therefore let us go to Him outside the camp and bear the reproach He endured. For here we have no lasting city, but we seek the city that is to come." Hebrews 13:13.

"The Spirit never loosens where the Word binds; the Spirit never justifies where the Word condemns; the Spirit never approves where the Word disapproves; the Spirit never blesses where the Word curses." —Thomas Brooks

‎"God receives none but those who are forsaken, restores health to none but those who are sick, gives sight to none but the blind, and life to none but the dead. He does not give saintliness to any but sinners, nor wisdom to any but fools. In short: He has mercy on none but the wretched and gives grace to none but those who are in disgrace. Therefore no arrogant saint, or just or wise man can be material for God, neither can he do the work of God, but he remains confined within his own work and makes of himself a fictitious, ostensible, false, and deceitful saint, that is, a hypocrite." --Martin Luther (W.A. 1.183ff)

i will not let You go: "Jacob's sense of his total debility and utter defeat is now the secret of his power with his friendly Vanquisher. God can overthrow all the prowess of the self-reliant, but He cannot resist the earnest entreaty of the helpless." --Albert Barnes

i will not let You go: "Jacob's determination did not flow from his strength, it flowed from his weakness." --Charles Leiter