containment/boundaries

been reading on things like enmeshment, boundaries, etc. good article here. (eat meat, spit bones. you know the drill!)

Containment/Boundaries
source: Michael C. Irving, PhD

Having boundaries is a normal activity that survivors can have difficulty with. Boundaries are about your relationship with distance, time, space, emotions and thoughts. Having conscious boundaries is being able to know and decide when, where and with whom you merge. It is also being able to determine and vary the degree of limits you establish. Not being able to stand up for yourself, say no or refuse to give over something you don’t want to, are all boundary issues.

Abuse Destroys Boundaries
During child abuse boundaries are totally ignored, violated and shattered. To survive abuse you had to dissociate from any sense of boundary. As the deadening response to abuse became habitual you missed out on developing the inner sense of boundaries. You did not pick up the lessons that healthy role models in your world displayed. Part of the healing and coping process for survivors of abuse is to reconnect with the inner sense of boundary. To learn ways to give yourself boundaries and let others know what your boundaries are is a difficult but vital task. (....)

(http://www.m-a-h.net/article-containment.html)

confusing stuff for me. the whole concept of being 'separate' from another person.

God had to take mom away in order for me to separate from her.... and i'm still not separated from her, yet. she lives on in my head.

i can't afford to get attached to another person before i am able to be just 'me'.... a separate and distinct person.

it would lead to.... can anyone say, "down in flames"?

i don't ever want to drag someone i love into this kind of mess, ever.

how does that poem go?

....if you love someone, let them go...
...if they were yours, they will return....

or some such.

God is sovereign, and He is the God of Destiny.

He's got it all in His hands!

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have i got the guts to post this post?

i think so....

here goes....

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edit: to add this link. it's a good one too.... http://www.m-a-h.net/article-unlearningfault.html ...especially the shoes and omnipotence. good for me to read, and remember.