experiment in obedience

ok, i'll start at the beginning.... well, sort of... last night at cell. deb shared her testimony, and one thing they said really inspired me to start asking God, "what should we do now? where should i go now?"....

so today, after leaving a friends house with a deep feeling of TRUTH, a grieving and travailing in my spirit about how much LIE there is in the world around us, mixing in with the truth (or trying to).... i started singing in the Spirit as i drove home.... i come up to the corner of my street and i say, ok God, where do you want me to go?... i turn onto my street wondering if i should go home or go for a drive.... 'go for a drive'... so i kept going....

....i wound up driving through town, just following the leading of God, CHOOSING to trust that it was Him... and i felt like i was headed to mickie's house.... now, she had called me earlier to say she did NOT need me to babysit at 4:45... and here i was, going her direction at 4:45..... i'm like, yah right, it can't be her house, can it, Lord? 'don't ask, just go where i lead'... ok.... i'm driving up to the corner of her street and i'm like, am i supposed to go there? the road is clear (there's been construction so it could have been closed)... if you want me to go there, Lord, you'll have to give me an urge to turn left.... i get to the corner, i feel the urge, so i do.... so i'm like, yup i guess i'm going to mickies house..... i park on the road, get out, thinking she's going to ask me what on earth i'm doing there, and here i don't even know myself!!!! i hope she's not gonna be weirded out, or her day too interrupted by me showing up, but oh well... i'm just kinda having an experiment in obedience, and this is where i was led, and her being a good friend, i knew when i told her she'd get it... she might think i'm a bit goofy (hey, i am!), but she'd get it, y'know? laid back beyond belief....

so i get to the door and (did i knock on the window?) she saw me thru the window and threw her hands up like, what on earth are you doing here? and i just threw my hands up in the air, like, i don't have a clue! she waves me in... she says what are you doing here? didn't your mom tell you i phoned? yup... so what are you doing here?

i said, i don't have a clue, ask God! (or some such).

i thought maybe i was to give her a hug... as it turned out, her kids had got into flour, she was sweeping up the flour and she did look tired so i gave her a hug... her hubby came up the stairs and is like, what are you doing here? i'm like, i don't have a clue!!!!! lol i figured a hug just might be it... so i gave her a hug, we both went out the door at the same time, laughed a bit, hugged again, and she was off to the chiropracter... and i'm like, kewl.. ok God, now what?

so i drive down the street a ways behind michelle, and she turns right.... when i get to the corner i hear, 'turn right'... now me, i'm super conscientious about what a person might feel - worry about, get nervous about, yknow?... so i'm thinking, but she might think i'm following her and get all weirded out if i'm behind her, i mean, i just showed up at her house all out of the blue and mysterious like, y'know?? she might think i'm following her! God's like, 'turn right'. so i did.

so i'm driving along, asking where i'm supposed to go, and when i get to a certain street, i hear 'turn left'... now this is not so much an audible voice, just a knowing, a hearing in my spirit, y'know? but i'm like oh, but this is the street mickie would have just turned down to go to the chiropracter! again, 'turn left, lynne'... so i did....

so i'm asking, am i supposed to go down there and talk to her? if i go past the chiropracter she might see me and wonder what on earth i'm doing following her around town!!!!! 'don't try to figure it out lynne, just go'... ok... and as i'm driving up there i see her going from her van to the door and i get there and drive by, looking everywhere BUT at her van or the chiropracters office!!!! lol....

so i'm like, ok God, now where? 'straight'..... 'right'.... 'right'..... 'straight'... ok, kewl... and i drive past maria!!!!! she doesn't see me, but she looks tired... so i'm, ok, maybe i'm supposed to run into maria! 'don't try to figure it out lynne, just obey'..ok, God.... keep my mind open, don't try to figure it out....

....soon, He prompts me to turn onto that street again... and sure enough, past the chiropractors again... van still there... now i'm really feeling like a stalker *lol*... but thinking it's neat how God is leading me, i'll tell her later, she'll understand... but i still looked everywhere BUT the van and the chiropracters as i was going by.. la la la la la

and all the while i'm still singing in tongues.....

so i drive around a few more blocks again, and God leads me down that street AGAIN. this time im like, OK, i'll have quite the tale to tell mickie later... i had visions of her laying on the chiropractors table, or whatever, looking out the window onto main street seeing me go by the third time convinced i was stalking her, lol... but by then i'm like i don't care, it's not about what she thinks, it's about what God wants. bingo, i think that was the point of going around the 'mountain' three times, until He defeated that aspect of the 'fear of man' in me - what will people think?! lol. amen for His patience and grace, eh? cuz the next time i came to the turn off to that street, i'm like, again God? He's like nope. keep going straight. and i just knew, "three obediences", and that was that, now move on... so i did.

so the next turn is onto a residential street, and about halfway down the street i see a little dog darting around down the street, how cute... a lady chasing him, aw, he wan away fwum home, cutie wutie... but she was upset.. and there was a guy further back running too... i realized they were both older folks, they had trouble running.... and as as i drove past her she threw her hands up in the air and wailed "Hershell!!!!! come back here~!" and i realized it wasn't good. i'm like what now God? pull over. so i did. the devils like, 'naner naner naner, you got a hero complex~!' oh shut up. stomp stomp stomp his head... now what, God? turn around... head off the doggie 'at the pass'... so i drove down the street and turn in JUST in front of the dog, only a few meters away from a busy thru street. the lady freaked out, prolly thinking i was going to run him over without seeing him, but i purposefully stopped right in front of him... he stopped dead, i waved my fingers at him to 'go that way! go!'... her turned around and ran bounding down the street.... i pulled the car around and saw him disappear into a yard... i ask the lady if i can help in some way and she's like all glazed eyes and is like, oh no he ran into his driveway (must have been dog sitting?) ......i can't believe how fast such a little thing can go so fast i cant believe cant keep up so fast ran away---!!!!!!!!!.... i said, i hope i didn't scare you too much, corralling him like that, she's no it's ok, thanks, started walking away..... i drive down the street, spotted the guy carrying the puppy, and i drove away.....

...amazing.... God led me up the arena hill and i sat up there and opened my bible to isaiah 25:1 - "O Lord, You are my God, I will exalt You, I will praise Your name, For You have done wonderful things"... oh yeah, God, very kewl!!!!! You rock!!!! woship, worship, worship, teary, i feel good so i drive off... then i pull over and have to find the scripture again so i can write it down!!!! i write that part down, but theres one more phrase in that verse: "Your counsels of old are faithfulness and truth."... should i write that down? oh ok, why not. kewl, i was obedient, is that what faithfulness could be about? i'm obedient!

then i feel to turn left at one point, onto a dead-end street, and i automatically keep going, cuz it's a dead end street, right? no where to go! 'why did you not obey, lynne?' .... OH..... cuz i'm *not* obedient. still got a long way to go!!!! lol...

so off i go.... and tsk tsk, as thoughts come to me i jot them down - while driving (but very slowly, nobody around, if there was i pulled over, keep yer rocks in yer pockets, lol!)

so i'm like following the leader here... i come up to the highway where i should now? i'm tired GOd! (i'm always tired after the Holy Spirit moves in me)... instead of straight across the highway to home.... 'turn right'... ok God... but gee i'm tired... if you are taking me somewhere besides home, you'll have to give me some energy, cuz i'm wiped.....

in less that 30 seconds i was singing in the Spirit at the top of my lungs again!!!

'turn right', so i go up the hill towards the college.... they have flagging people up there (lots of construction today - could that be saying something about what God's building in me? faith!) so i have to wait for a while... and i think, "Your counsels of old are faithfulness and truth" and He speaks to me that it's not about being perfectly obedient, yer gonna miss it sometimes, it's about always being willing to try again, to be faithful in coming back after having been disobedient and saying, God i still want to be obedient to You!!!! that's faithfulness.... combine that with the feelings about TRUTH i had earlier, that scripture comes to life, not believing the counsel of my evil heart/mind, but His awesome, wise counsel of old.... and it set me crying at how awesome God is....

so finally i can go on up the hill, and i'm coming up to the college, and i'm like, ok, did you want me to go see debbie? after all, her sharing last night is part of what gave me the faith to say, "ok God, where to now?" it made sense.... 'don't try to figure it out, lynne' ... ok, sorry God.. well, we'll see if the road is open, cuz there's construction there again... but it was being paved... the rough road being made smooth... as i'm writing this, i'm seeing that it's all part of God working in me, growing my faith in this area, smoothing down the bumps of disbelieve and fear and etc and smoothing the way of the Lord in my heart, to work in my life... kewl God...

so i drive by the construction, come to another turn off... this one is either a road that heads out of town, a road that a friend from church lives on, or turn right onto a road that heads towards... marias!.... or around the block to deb's..... 'don't try to figure it out, lynne, just go where i say'.... He's oh so quiet and patient with me~!!!!! so i just praise Him and when i get to the corner, 'turn right'.. ok.... all right God, am i going to marias? or debs? or straight? what's up here? again... 'don't try to figure it out, lynne! just go'.... so release! now i'm singing at the top of my lungs, just feeling free, feeling led, feeling faith.... i get to the corner, and hear 'left' - towards marias.... i think, is it going to be down marias street, or straight thru to this little rural go-nowhere street, God? i'll take the dead end road, God, what ever You say!!!! i was game for anything.... 'right'....down marias street.

so now i'm like, ok God, if you want me to pull in at marias, if her car is there then i'll know to go knock on the door..... it was. so i pulled in, grabbed my bible and notebook, and went and knocked....

i think she was blessed by my popping in unannounced... one thing i do know is GOD SHOWED UP BIG TIME!!!!! i went there willing to do whatever God wanted me to, and she wound up blessing me big time, praying over me and confirming things in my heart of what God has been speaking to me.... after an hour we needed to part, so out of a willingness to be available to go whereever God leads, i'm like, can i use your bathroom? just in case doesn't want me to go home yet? lol.....

so finally i leave and i'm feeling REALLY wiped by now... i go down the hill.... past a house with a mermaid fountain... and this line from a joni mitchell song came into my head, so i filed it away for later... drove past canadian tire, nobody in there to see.... drove down the highway AGAIN.... went down past the mill, there was two big machines on the road, it looked like they were scrubbing the center line with water/oil and gravel.... i have NO clue what it was doing..... interesting thing was, when i got to the other side of the machines, there was flaggers.... more construction flaggers! ...but there were none on the side i came from.... strange eh? and i just felt like God was showing me that on the road yer on, you can't always see whats coming from the other end until you get there, y'know? .... filed away for later... cuz by now i'm paying attention to all the little things!!! lol...

so i had been thinking i'd prolly turn down a street that would take me home, thinking mom might be wondering where i've been, totally MIA for 2 1/2 hours by then... but the flaggers were blocking the road, i put my ticker on, but it's like, 'keep driving'.... so i did. went down to the riverside/boat launch, and just sat for a while, thinking about what God had said at marias, making notes.... i listened to the seagulls going nuts... watched them fly about, the river so green... i thought about how i was alone along the edge of the highway, how there have been 30-some women who have gone missing along this highway.... am i going to be scared? no... God is in control.... He won't tell me to go somewhere if He's not going to keep me safe... or if He did tell me to go and something happened, it would be totally His will.... be at peace.

...so what if He told me to drive down the highway out of town? 1/4 tank of gas, possible serial killer on the loose... would i go? Lord, i don't know. make me able. i TRUST You... Your leading is perfect.... but would fear come up, and keep me from obeying You??? something to think about. i still have a long way to go in my walk of obedience i think. i mean, it's no different than if He asked me to walk over the border into a 'closed' country with a suitcase of bibles, knowing that *if* they caught me they'd prolly put me to death.... gee, i don't know. something to think about. i want to have that kind of faith... faithfullness to obey faithfully... listening to the TRUTH, not lies!

i get in the car and watch some ducks, two of them, they would dive into the river, disappear for a looong time(~! to me, anyways!) and pop up out of the water like 30 feet downstream... then dive down again. it struck me how they come up for air, but quickly dive in again, in hot pursuit of whatever they are after.... they spend more time under water, in the river, than on the surface... bubbles drifting down past the bench so i couldnt see where they were going, but thinking, i don't need to know where the bubbles go... filed for later, lol!

it was like a little restful time along the side of the river, just popping up for air...

so finally i head towards home down the highway, and there is a beautiful orange sunset glow on some mountains in the distance and i'm just in AWE of my God.

this time i do turn down that would take me towards my house, 'left' yup, thats the way to home... 'right'.. yup, that's to home.... all done here? 'left', yup, home here i come! ~ if God's done with me tonight that is....

well, out backs a pickup out of a driveway and i snarl at it for not looking....and it's a friend from church and her son!!!! we pull over and talk for an HOUR... God just speaking through us to each other, exciting us, encouraging us, just utterly thrilling us... GOD SHOWED UP, AGAIN.... how cool is that?!?! it was amazing. total divine appointments.

finally headed home, without God sending me elsewhere, lol!

i'm thinking now...

mermaid fountain: fountain.. a word God gave maria about springs for me, wanting more springs, you have not cuz you ask not... ask for a second spring! more God! mermaid.. the joni mitchell song goes, "On a promise to be free, mermaids live in colonies, all his seadreams come to me"... it just speaks to me about freedom, His promise, diving deep in the water, seeing His visions for my life come to pass.... more, Lord!!!!!

diving ducks: dive in the river, lynne. be content with only a few gasps of air, fine Me in the river... don't be afraid of the current, where i'm taking you, just dive....

machines with only one ended flagging, and bubbles: i don't have to 'figure it out', i don't 'need to know'... i don't have to see whats coming at the end to just GO, i don't have to see where the bubbles are going... just GO. Trust God, obey, and GO.

yes, God is cleaning up my highways, He is paving over the bumpy areas, working on making smooth the way of the Lord in me, for what He's going to do in my life.... making every bump smooth..... making way for Him to move through me. PREPARING ME. training me. raising me up. preparing me as part of His mighty army!!! one of david's mighty men of valour...who, me? yup.